The Ripple Effect: How Authentic Networking Ignites Women's Empowerment

This podcast episode features an engaging conversation with Tyler Skinner, the visionary founder behind Women Making Waves and the Next Wave programs. 

The discussion begins with an emphasis on the value of genuine networking and outreach, highlighting the importance of providing value and assistance to others to foster mutual success.

 Tyler then shares her journey and the motivational force behind creating communities aimed at uplifting women through connection, mentorship, and shared growth. 

Women Making Waves started as a response to personal and professional setbacks during COVID-19, evolving into a thriving platform for women from diverse backgrounds to support each other and collaborate. 

The Next Wave, a spin-off initiative, primarily focuses on personal and professional development for young women by pairing them with mentors. 

Throughout the conversation, concepts such as authenticity, overcoming imposter syndrome, and the power of starting with community building are explored. 

The narrative weaves through challenges, realizations, and the triumphs of building meaningful communities, all while maintaining the ultimate message of empowerment, inclusivity, and the potential for every individual to make significant impact through networking and genuine connections.

Connect with Tyler Skinner:

Instagram

Website

00:00 Unlocking the Power of Networking: Tips and Insights

01:11 Introducing Tyler Skinner: A Beacon for Women's Empowerment

02:21 The Essence of Authenticity and Community Building

04:31 Navigating Social Media with Authenticity and Boundaries

05:31 Women Making Waves: From COVID Challenge to Community Triumph

10:00 The Evolution of Women Making Waves Post-COVID

18:12 The Next Wave: Fostering Young Women's Leadership and Development

23:43 Empowering Young Entrepreneurs: A Transformation Story

25:11 The Power of Belonging and Acceptance in Growth

27:20 Building Community and the Importance of Showing Up

Transcript

Colleen: 0:00

when you're doing this Networking, you are engaging, you are giving, you are providing, you are looking for ways to connect and help other people. And that's how you get the help in return. You don't walk up to somebody and say, Hey, what? And know anybody who can buy and sell want to give me a lead. No. Oh my God. How dare you? What? Weird. Weird. Right? No, you're walking somebody and be like, Oh my God, tell me about your room and making waves. Like, how can I help you with that? Like who's, who's your, the question I always ask anybody I meet is like, who's your ideal client and how can I find that person for you?

Cheryl: 1:11

Welcome back. to we're doing this right, right. I'm here with Colleen, of course.

Colleen: 1:17

Hi, here I am.

Cheryl: 1:20

We are here with Tyler Skinner today. She is the Founder and light behind the organization, women making waves. She's passionate about connecting women and community. And she has another organization that took off in the last year or two called the next wave, where she is connecting young women with, mentors. And I love that. And then I know she's got some exciting things that she's, she's working towards for her next endeavor, all focused on lifting women entrepreneurs, lifting women in general, connecting women and just fulfilling their life. So welcome Tyler. And thank you for your work.

Tyler Skinner: 1:57

Thank you. Thank you for having me. I love this. I love the title. We're doing this right? Right?

Cheryl: 2:03

Right? I mean, I think we are.

Tyler Skinner: 2:06

doing this, right? Because it's the right thing for us.

Cheryl: 2:10

And pivoting is fine. Rewriting your story is fine. All the things are fine. It's right while it's right, and when it's wrong, then change it.

Tyler Skinner: 2:19

I like that.

Cheryl: 2:20

That's where I'm at. So, Tyler, I talked about you in about two seconds, so I know you're a lot more than the brief intro I gave you. So will you tell me who you are and What you're doing.

Tyler Skinner: 2:34

That's such a hard question and I asked some people that all the time I find pause because there are so many things and at any given time. They, we could be 20 of those things, one of those things. I think the most relevant to the show would be obviously, yes, you said founder. I love that, but I would say I'm a true connector and a creative behind that. And then a community builder community first is kind of my jam and collaborations are so important and kind of meet each other. And I, I've become a bridge, I think too. Not only generationally, no multi generations bringing women together to believe in something bigger to know that there's more available. There's an abundance mindset, but also in that creative space where we can celebrate. Uplift each other, empower each other, teach each other. We all have the wisdom inside and it's just tapping into that and figuring out what that is and what's our thing. And then really sharing that out in the world. Like I am the ultimate hype woman when it comes to. Stand up, show up and show yourself don't even hold back. Not worth it, but it's taken me a while to get there. I mean, and I'm still on the journey. So I think that's what we'll talk about today. A little bit.

Cheryl: 3:48

That sounds like authenticity is your jam is how I would define that. And I am right here with you. That is my, I show up as I am who I am. I'm that person that, like, there's nothing that is TMI, there's not, nothing's too much information, like, where are you, tell me what you're going through and I will share what I'm going through, True Blue you know, I'm not spewing it all over the social medias, but, like, if we sit down and have a genuine conversation, which I hope that I do with anybody who's interested because that's my favorite thing to do is connect. Just like you, Tyler. That's why we've bonded since we met. It's like we have that same drive to like, I want to connect beyond the surface and know who you are. I

Tyler Skinner: 4:30

that. That is so true. I want to touch on the social media thing if I can for a second, because I love that you brought that up. That's been something on my heart and mind lately as social media is a tool that we use for our business and for a lot of other opportunities to connect people in different cities and globally and all the stuff. Bye. I'm like you, Cheryl, I feel the same way. I think that we don't always have to feel like we have to share every intimate detail of everything that's going on with us via social media. I think I, I commend people and I'm so there for people who do, and that's not, I'm not judging. What I'm saying is please don't ask me to do that in order to show that I'm authentic or show that I'm something by doing that, because that's just not. What I'm feeling and I'll share how I want to when I want to and what I want to with who I want to. And I think that's important to note. So thank you for bringing that up.

Colleen: 5:24

I just wanted to, and we can keep talking about social media, but I wanted to kind of ask you, cause you guys are in the women making waves group together. So for us that are on the outside of this group, tell us what is it like? What is the group, who are the women that are in it? And then like how, how that all came about was kind of what I was interested in.

Tyler Skinner: 5:46

Well, it's a, it's definitely a cobit base thing. I mean, this is a Phoenix rising moment. So I, I love this question. Thank you for asking it in 2020, March of 2020. I actually have a business connected communities. And a lot of that was around consulting with nonprofits being in the nonprofit space and. Everything in person, and in a matter of a week, I lost 90 percent of my business and that was devastating. It rocked me to the core. It broke me in so many ways. And because, and I'll tell you why it wasn't because of the loss of income, all that stuff. Yes. That was hurtful. It was because I had an identity and an ego wrapped up in it. So I lost. I lost an identity of who I was being this community leader or blah, blah, blah. You want to call it and being known. And that was the wrong way. I was doing it. And this podcast, we're doing this right, right. I was doing it wrong for me and COVID allowed me to really, we say shift and pivot. I often say everybody else was running around shifting and pivoting or shift and pivot. They were like shift and pivot. And I just looked inward and I'm like, you just have to build it. That's what, that's who you are. You're a builder. You are a take it from nothing scratch girl and throw things together like an alchemist just move everything around and bring all the right people and right elements and the resources together and and build something. So, we've been making waves really 10 women on a beach. Sitting out, we were kind of like, if you're brave, if you feel comfortable with being outside and being in with people, because we all need people right now, then come talk with us. And we set up a beautiful brunch on the beach. People wear masks. They're not and we urged and that's where I saw the real power of. The women connecting with each other, they were from all walks of life, all different industries, all different things. And I went, this is it. So that's where we kind of took it to the next level of panels and different things like that. Because it was all virtual. Right? So we did the whole pivot to virtual and tried that out just an experiment. What is this about? Let's do virtual events. That was really successful. And then in 2021, we started doing in person kind of branches and having mini retreats so that women can have this escape not from reality. Not like, oh, I don't want to go, but we're all doing a lot of things. And some of us are moms and some of us are running businesses. We're doing a lot at once. And then we had this lockdown and the world shutting down on top of it. So it was a lot of confusion and uncertainty. And fear, so my thing was, no, we're going to go and so it's a little rebellious, I guess it's a rebellious undertone. It started as a movement and now it's kind of a revolution to change the way women operate with each other and with themselves. So, it's connecting yourself to connect with others through adventure through getting out of your comfort zone. And that looks like many retreats, workshop, all kinds of things. So we're just evolving. Right now we're doing a retreat in Mexico. I mean, we're just like, what comes up, we're going with the flow and aligning with the things that feel right to bring to that space of like real, be real with yourself and with others and do your thing.

Colleen: 9:02

And is it all women who you said it's women of all walks of life, but is it all women who have businesses or is it, is that not a part of the, not a requirement, I suppose.

Tyler Skinner: 9:15

and that's actually important to us. It's an important distinction. So many of things that we're involved in so many groups, and they all matter. They're all super valid. So many things around us have a requirement. You know, a certain income bracket, you're a mom or not, you're a business owner or not. Our thing was like, it's all we want everybody. So I know the marketing people out there. We're like, When they were working with me, and they're like, Tyler, that's BS, you can't do it like that. You have to have an, you have to have a target. And I said, my target is women. That is my target, but I don't, I don't need to have a target to have certain demographic. We can make room for everyone face within the construct of this community. When making waves, we can find different mini pockets and things to do in that.

Colleen: 10:00

And how has that transition been out of COVID? Like, I know there are a lot of businesses or a lot of groups and things that like sprung out of COVID that have had to transition post COVID, right? Because some, because. As people's lives changed post COVID or went back to what they were like, has that been a transition for you as far as involvement goes with your, with people or has it strengthened it because now you can be more in person or is it just kind of grown or organically, as we like to say into 2024 post COVID. Yeah,

Tyler Skinner: 10:36

I think right after it's it's had a ups and downs. It's been people were really after cobit, like, when we actually got released, I will say from prison and everyone's like, it's okay to go outside. I think people were still cautious. They were still cautious about. Meeting in person, what does that look like? And we all, we've all changed. A lot of people were changed by that. They didn't know an introvert. Am I an extrovert? Am I this? Do I love mixers? Do I not? Do I want to do this? Do I want my family? Where's my energy going? I think there's a lot of evaluating going on. And so we saw a varying degree of that going out of right out of COVID. Now, I'm seeing a huge uptick because people are going, I desperately want and desire a creative community.

Colleen: 11:21

yeah.

Tyler Skinner: 11:22

So, built community 1st, which is not a common thing that businesses do. They don't start that core. They start with something else, a product service, whatever. Yeah. And then the community kind of comes along with it. I'm a community 1st person, so start there and then all those other products and services and everything tie into the community.

Colleen: 11:41

Yeah, it's so interesting. We talked to somebody locally here in Indianapolis, Leslie Bailey, Cheryl, who did the same thing, right? She, she thought she had an idea, but then realized, but, and she had an idea, but her idea turned into community first and has, like you, has been loudly successful in creating this like lovely community for women. And I think it's just Testament of how women really want to be. And this is through history. We want to be together. We want to be in groups. We want to be communal. Like, we want to do our work and we want to do it in a way that's communal, whether we're doing it together or we're working side by side. Right? Like, Just closeness and proximity is so interesting to, to see it kind of continue to be a thing in 2024, you know?

Tyler Skinner: 12:31

It's such a thing. I don't think it ever. I don't think it ever really. Well, I had a lot of crickets. I won't lie before covid. I had a lot of people kind of going. I had all these ideas and I had all this stuff and I was very forward thinking and a lot of people were. Yeah, I don't know about that. I'm not sure if I'm feeling you. I think we're doing great. Thanks. I don't think we need to partner with these people. We don't need to do that. I'm like, yes, yes, you

Colleen: 12:55

Yeah.

Tyler Skinner: 12:56

Yes, you do. And I don't think people saw it and they felt it. And I think they really felt it. I think COVID was that opportunity to feel that at a soul level so that people were like, okay. I definitely don't know what's going on and I don't know what I'm doing. The best gift I ever got was talk about imposter syndrome. You know, a lot of us women, we, we kind of have that, you know, men have it too, but I definitely see it a lot, very prevalent women. And in COVID, when I was on all these virtual calls globally, I go, Oh my gosh, no one has it figured out. This is so great. Nobody. Not even the highest CEOs, the, I was talking to all kinds of people that I, I looked at from LinkedIn or other things. And I went, oh, my gosh, they would never I can never measure up. But I could, I have something to offer that's super special too. And so today. And they were like, we don't know, we don't even know this is new foreign. We don't know what to

Colleen: 13:52

It's interesting as we get further into our careers, I don't want to say older, but kind of, and now your peers start to be people who are CEOs or directors or whatever, and you're like, I know that person. Like. Okay. And there is a kind of a peek behind the curtain, if you will, of like, nobody really knows what they're doing. They're just figuring it out. Like that's become such a reality to me. And

Cheryl: 14:25

I mean, that's the premise of the title of our podcast. We're doing this right. Right? Like, because somebody would look at you, you, you, me, them, and they're like, Whoa, they've got their shit together. This person is like crushing life. And then yeah, when you peek behind the curtain, holy shit, we're all just trying to figure this out as we go. There's no one who's not trying to figure it out as we go. It's like that, like like with celebrities, how people get the like star struck, but then you're like, Oh, that person's actually just a person fighting all the same internal battles that I am in. And you are like, we're all just people and all people are going through a bunch of shit. Like I might have this thing over here figured out, but I'm fucking spiraling over here, you know, and we're all doing it. It's everyone.

Colleen: 15:09

that's goes social media portion of what we were talking about. You guys were talking about before, and especially on like a business page, like we're showing Cheryl and I are very authentic on our social media, but we, and we, you know, talk about this, but like, you're not always showing everybody that the real, real, because the real, real is. Messy and the real real scary and the real real is like,

Cheryl: 15:32

Well, and in a personal, and I'm, I will share that with my nearest and dearest and like, this group of people that have built a tremendous amount of trust in my life. And. And I think in person relationships breed more trust than like the, okay, you're going to DM me, like, we're going to know each other. Like, I think social media does have the community in the back and forth, but I think there's something different about being on a phone call, being on a video call. Because Colleen and I don't know each other very well, but she knows all the mess. But it's because we've taken the time to like, see each other. Our group of moms in our CMC, like, they all know the mess too. So, But we're seeing each other every week, you know, my friends that I get to see in person, my community that I've built here, it's just easier to get vulnerable when you're in person or like being able to see the reaction that's happening. And. Yeah, it's like a, I'm writing my newsletter piece right now, like the personal part of it and, and I get more personal there than I do on social media. Like you're going to see more there than You are because you are in like the more select, like as we get smaller and smaller, tighter, closer to my heart, I'm willing to show you more and more and

Colleen: 16:39

yeah

Tyler Skinner: 16:40

Yes, that should be okay. That's my thing. It should be okay to that that way. And also equally okay to pour your heart out on social media and say, whatever. And I look at both, you know, when somebody does that, I go, wow, how beautiful and I'm feel for you and I want out to you and I feel I'm in it with you. Right. But I also like, if you ask me to do that and make it like, you're not doing that. So, therefore. That's where I problem. That's, that's my thing. Like, I'm not doing that to you. you. know, I'm not saying you shouldn't pour your on social media. So

Cheryl: 17:16

and let me tell you. whoever's, wherever that's coming from, that is theirs. That's not yours. You're doing it

Tyler Skinner: 17:24

kind of a message that's out there sometimes, you know, with, you're not being authentic if you're not putting it all out there on display. And I think that that's the misconception that I want people to know. You don't have to feel pressured to do it that way. You can do it. Whatever feels good to you. And it feels good to have a close circle and do that. But have have somebody that's kind of my thing. Share it open about it. Talk about it. Yes, the best embrace it. Work through it, get your counseling, get your stuff, but it doesn't all have to air broadcasted if you don't want

Cheryl: 17:53

right?

Colleen: 17:54

right.

Cheryl: 17:56

Certainly not sharing the same things I'm sharing with my therapist, with

Colleen: 17:59

Yeah.

Tyler Skinner: 18:00

and some people do, and then it's like, okay, but that's your truth and that is your story. Go with it. If that's what you feel like doing, do

Colleen: 18:12

the next wave? I'm so I was so intrigued when you brought that up, Cheryl, before, before the On like what you're doing because I'm listening to you. I'm like, wow, she's so great. She's so dynamic and she's got these great groups like this helps a lot of people, but you're already like doing that. So tell us a little bit about what the next wave is.

Tyler Skinner: 18:33

Yeah, the next wave came about. I went to Cal Poly here in San Luis Obispo for school and I just remember. Really having a hard time finding mentors and finding people to support me when I wanted to go on. Neural journey young, and the school and the focus, everything was on go to corporate. It was like, not allowed to do the entrepreneurial journey. And that to me was like, why? So I had a hard time finding that. And then when I came back 20 years later, dating myself, come back 27 years later, and I'm giving talks to young women, business and all these things at the school and helping teams kind of figured out what they're like. Doing their entrepreneurship startups, I'm noticing that, that they, there was a huge thing of lack of belief and lack of confidence and they were all about to graduate. And that was where it started. That was kind of the seed of it. Like, well, you get these mentors, but they're in career. They're like, how do you get to be? It's like some big company that comes in. They support the school and they give you all these things about how you get into a career. And I love that. And it's so important, but then I'm like, something's missing from the. People there, there was kind of a crickets if you will, when I would ask deep questions about what's next. Or who are you, do you know what, what's your why and they'd go, no, no idea. It was like, I was just told do this, or this is the way society says or whatever. And so I started going, I started digging in, I started researching doing, looking at statistics, figuring out like post COVID, what does this look like for this next generation? And big mom, truthfully, I'm a mom of two girls and they're young. Yes, but. I'm like, what's their world going to look like, you know, if we're doing all this healing and all this awesome work with making waves, what about them, you know, what do they get? And I would start to bring my girls into the events and have them meet the women that my girls benefit hugely from being around is really powerful, very strong and very vulnerable women. You know, they're open talking about their being real and connecting each other. So, that's what I wanted to bring to the next wave. The next wave is personal development all the way professional development talks about things like creativity rest. How are you playing your work base that thing, but everything else really focuses on the end. It's called the leader within. So it's about leadership, but being leader of your life. And that's how you're going to go forward with whatever you do, you can be the CEO of a major fortune 500 company, or you be running a business or your, your mom or your wife, whatever it is, whatever's going on friends. It touches on all of it. So, that's really the idea is that learning to lead from a place of trust and that's what we do is match make intentionally women together to challenge other and kind of grow. And it's a virtual program, so women match made across the country. You're not going to know this woman necessarily. So it opens up doors for building a new relationship with someone, opportunity for business, for networking, all kinds of stuff. So it's been really amazing to watch it unfold. And the young women designed it, like the women of their 20s and 30s are the ones that kind of designed the workplace. And so this is the stuff we want. This is what's missing, like the stuff they don't teach you in school. You know what I mean? But you don't have to be in college to be in it, which is another reason, going back to my Women Making Waves. You don't have to be anything to be in it. We've had women in their 50s that have joined in transition. We've had single moms in the program, and we've had women that are 18, 19. It's just all up in there. Just throw it all in there.

Cheryl: 22:14

So incredible. And so you've had one class go through it and complete it and you have another class kind of going through it right now, right? An annual program. Is that how you're running it?

Tyler Skinner: 22:25

Yeah, it's an, it's a 6 month journey. So you take that journey together and then you have group meetings. You get speakers to reinforce the topics and they have a workbook. And then after that, they're part of the community. We have offerings with our community partner. It'd be coaching yoga classes. Mindfulness, all kinds of stuff products that they get to still be part of that afterwards. So they're not just bye. See you later. You graduated really help. We all know

Cheryl: 22:51

What feedback, a graduate, if you will most stands out to you that you've gotten, like, what was your most proud response to the program that you've received?

Tyler Skinner: 23:02

I, I think it would have to be this young girl. I'm not going to name names, but she was, she's about 18, 19 years old. And 1 of the things that came out of 1 of her sessions is she learned about revenue streams. And she said that wow, I, and yes, she has a job, so she's 18, right? She's not. Having hundreds of businesses or something, she has a job and she said, I, I got another job. And for her, though, watch her from like, this quiet. She was on the calls camera off. Not really engaging her. Her mentor was like, I don't know, is everything. Okay. And I said, yes, those people that are going to rise even higher. It's those people that feel like they're engaged. But they still show up. They still are there. They're doing the work. They're just kind of observing, right? They're figuring it out as she got to the end of the program She was up on the mic at our event like sharing with everyone about her thing and she goes. Yeah I'm her voice was so strong Her presence her posture. She was changed.

Cheryl: 24:03

I spoke to her at that event and she came and she said, okay, she was really into the revenue streams and she's like, so buying real estate, what do I need to do? And I'm like, okay, girl, like, yes, let's talk about it. Good for you. And at 18 years old, 19 years old, thinking about that, she's going to be so far ahead of her peers. Like what a gift you gave that person, Tyler, to like have this dream and to execute it and make it happen for

Colleen: 24:27

love to. Yeah, I love to that. You really recognize that. Like, It would have been very easy to write her off, right? Like, she doesn't turn a camera on, she doesn't speak up, or whatever, but like, the signals she was also giving were, she was there, right? Like, she was, she was there for a reason. If she didn't want help, or wasn't interested, she wouldn't show up. So she was showing up how she could. And then you gave her the space to do it that way. And that allowed her to grow. And I think that that's something that we can all learn, right? It's like, people don't always show up the way we want them to show up, but they show if they're showing up, have o urInspireHERer groups. And, you know, there was a woman who wanted to join in the, the, in the first meeting, she said, you know, I don't, I'm not really sure if I belong here because I don't have a big business. And I was like, Oh no, you be here. However you want to be here and however you can be here, like you're welcome to be here. But isn't it interesting how

Tyler Skinner: 25:38

Silence.

Colleen: 25:39

some people from either end one, you'll count yourself out or two, other people will count

Tyler Skinner: 25:45

That's the main 1. Yeah, yeah, so we need less of more spaces like this, or what you're creating, which where people can feel belonging and acceptance and then they feel give themselves permission to knock themselves out. That's kind of the thing is when I learned that I belong in all the spaces. Then everyone else in our group will also be like, I also belong in all the space because my energy and the way I'm carrying myself and speaking and the things I'm doing my act. All of that, and then everyone feels that and they're like, okay, well, Tyler's doing it. I can do it too. You know, that's what I want. You want to be the model. That's important.

Cheryl: 26:27

Colleen and I have talked a lot about that. Like the example, we want to lead as role models and you know, we, we have this space where we're speaking. So we are a role model in some way. It's like, we want to make sure everybody feels like, We are, what we're doing is within reach. Like we're not special. I mean, we're special. I'm special. You're special. Every listener, every listener is special. Like we all have a superpower. We're all special, you know, and you just need to find yours and find your voice and show up in the way that works for you. But what we're doing is attainable. We don't ever want to feel out of reach of people. And Colleen has this point. Big mission of like, to never be a gatekeeper, like don't keep the secrets. Don't be a secret keeper, like share their room for everybody on top. You know, the people at the top are not in competition. They're in collaboration.

Tyler Skinner: 27:17

That's and that's how they do it. And that's what people. Silence. I want the younger generation to see is that up here, like you think it's so unattainable, it's not, they're figuring it out just like you in a lot of ways, but they took steps or they made decisions toward that thing. They took inspired action toward this thing. They were like, I imagine it and dreaming it. I want it to put themselves in the room where they want it to be. Even how many, I don't even know how many times I've invested in something or. Done some coaching or also put myself intentionally in master circles or things or places where I'm like, why am I here? Like all these people are like writing books and you know what I mean? Like they're just different level. But that's why, because I need to see that so that I can also say that. Yeah, that's where I want. That's what I want to be doing someday. And I am doing it because I'm here. I showed up.

Colleen: 28:07

Well, and

Cheryl: 28:09

one is to start. Like I guess step one is to dream. And step two is to start. And, and starting can look like making the list or like researching, or it's just taking a step in the direction you have to start, or you're never going to arrive.

Tyler Skinner: 28:25

Silence.

Colleen: 28:26

I wanted to. You mentioned Tyler, in the beginning,

Tyler Skinner: 28:29

Silence. Silence.

Colleen: 28:30

is something that Cheryl and I stand very firmly on is like, you just build it like,

Tyler Skinner: 28:37

Silence.

Colleen: 28:37

you know, our CMC group that we are like, you know, so, in in love with and obsessed with and how Cheryl and I became friends and colleagues and business partners came from me being told I wasn't allowed in another group. And I was just like, okay, I'm just going to make my own group then. Good. Okay. Yeah.

Tyler Skinner: 28:57

You're like, oh yeah. Well, watch me go build it

Colleen: 28:59

Yeah. And I think that that is something, you know, people talk to me or ask me or whatever all the time. Like, how did you get into this or how did you, how did you get your net, get into the networking group? I was like, well, I just made it. How did you start your podcast? Well, Cheryl just asked me and I just said yes. And we're just doing it right. Like I think there is something to be said about women like you and like us. Who are able to just,

Tyler Skinner: 29:25

Silence.

Colleen: 29:28

So like, it's, it's our responsibility to show people and show women and show people who are almost there. Like you can do it and not fail. You can do it and fail, but you can do it and not fail, or you could do it and it looks really dumb to start with. And then it grows and whatever. Like, I think,

Cheryl: 29:49

Yeah, you have to be comfortable with being stupid in the beginning or like,

Tyler Skinner: 29:52

Everything.

Cheryl: 29:54

not going to be perfect and, and progress is better than perfection any day of the week, in my opinion. And like something is better than nothing. Just take the step, just start. If otherwise you're going to get to that end of life and be like, well, I wish I would have, could have, should have done these things. And you won't feel good about that. I can

Tyler Skinner: 30:17

I have this little card next to my desk that I keep every day looking at, and it's just like, start where you are, use what you have, do what you can. That's it. Like, just, what do you have? I have a laptop, I'm going to start a podcast. Like, there's a free app somewhere. There's there's 2 people I can gather and we can go for walk and talks. I mean, literally it's that I think people have asked me that a lot with community building. It's like, where do I start? You start, you just grab people, grab your friends and start. And you, and you share things and you beta test things and you work on things and you build it because it does take time. And that's why people get frustrated with it because they want everything instantly and relationships and community are not always instantaneous. It's not this gratification thing where you could just be like, Hey, I built a widget. I sell it. And then some, I get an instant high off of that. Right? It's not always that it is going up. You're showing up having that experience. Chains, the reciprocation, the being there, there's a consistency to it. It's almost like tortoise in the hair. I tell people, you gotta be the tortoise. Sometimes you just slow and steady going along. And then by all of a sudden you look back and that, that person that's rushing is back there and you've already hit the finish line for you.

Cheryl: 31:33

And I want to,

Tyler Skinner: 31:34

is. Silence. Yeah.

Cheryl: 31:54

shit all day long. That's not failure. That's learning who you are and, and arriving where you're going to be. But when you just stop, when you give up, when you quit, when you don't start. That is how you fail. You do not fail if you continually just move towards the direction that you want to go, and that can change. That's the pivot and the shift. Like, that's fine. Regroup, reevaluate, and then keep

Colleen: 32:18

yeah. I had,

Tyler Skinner: 32:18

Yeah, I had a coach ask me one day that was like, so do you not want to do this anymore? And I mean, my whole body was like, no, I don't tap out. You know, for me, I was like, that's a, it's a hell no. And if it's a hell no, then I'm going to keep doing it. So, that's my thing is, if it, like, you said, Cheryl, if it's hurting you, or it's not serving you. Yes, but there's a party. This is what would my life like, not doing this and how if I didn't do this, or this part of it or thing, what would I be? Okay. With that?

Colleen: 32:48

yeah,

Tyler Skinner: 32:49

That's kind of how I have

Colleen: 32:51

it's so interesting and I agree like a billion percent, right? I had a, I was spoke to this woman yesterday who has been a realtor longer than me and has never made a sale. And I, and she was like, I want to be like you, Colleen. Like, what are you doing? And I was like, well, I've invested hard in relationships and that takes a long

Tyler Skinner: 33:18

Hello.

Colleen: 33:19

And You know, my advice for her was like, I gave Cheryl's Bunko group as the example. I was like, you got to create a, like a group, like create a, you just need a couple of women, like try 12. If you can't get 12 and you get four, get four, you know, or two or whatever it is. And, you know, she's like, well, I want, I need things now. And I'm like, I get that, like, I get it. But to your point, Tyler, like these relationships and these, they're going to take time. And when you're building a real relationship and a business relationship with people, like That takes time and that takes trust and that takes investment on your end. and I think the thing that we, we talk about a lot, but maybe we don't touch on enough is the amount of time and, energy and effort it takes. To build those relationships and build those communities and, and the time and you know, like I built this business here, you know, my real estate business here really quickly, but like, and I'm not about grind culture, but it meant that I made decisions that invested time into people that didn't pay off immediately and relationships that don't pay off immediately. They aren't like, Oh, I met somebody at a networking event. And then the next day they gave me a referral. It was like, I met

Tyler Skinner: 34:38

You don't know that my consulting business side. I see, I hear that from people, from my clients, like, I just went to this thing and I, I got all these cards or I did this thing and then it's like nothing go, yeah, because what, you just went to one thing or a couple of things, or, you know, that maybe that's not the right environment for you. Maybe that doesn't align with your business or your thing, find a different group, you know, it's, there's so many options. And I think we limit ourselves to, like, we've got to do this 1 thing. And if this is the work I've done.

Colleen: 35:08

one and

Cheryl: 35:09

Well, and let's, like, what are you doing with all those business cards you collected? I hope you're setting up a one on one coffee and, like, leaning into that

Tyler Skinner: 35:16

Right. How do you follow up

Cheryl: 35:18

And it's a slow burn. Like relationship building is a slow burn. Colleen and I, at the beginning of the year, I, we both were like, where's the next business coming from? As all business owners, I think do. It's like, what's next. And you know, the, the way that she and I have decided to run our business is relationship based and that is slow. It's not, we're not cold calling. We're not cold calling 50 for sale by owners a day. Like some people do to get business, which means like, we're not buying leads, we're leaning into our community, we're being community leaders, community builders, we're being involved in that, is just by nature going to be a slow burn, and that can feel scary when you're looking for your next paycheck, but

Tyler Skinner: 36:01

that's my revenue

Cheryl: 36:02

in the long run,

Tyler Skinner: 36:03

And that's what people ask me a lot. We were talking about that and I'm Colleen. I love that. You're not a gatekeeper and I'm not either. And I think that resources help. And 1 of those things I know is, I can say 1 thing that if you talk to a lot of successful people, I'm just going to say air quotes because it's by society's term, right? Successful and they will say they spend 40 percent of their

Colleen: 36:29

Like it's cliffhanger. It's cliffhanger.

Cheryl: 36:32

Tyler,

Colleen: 36:34

40 percent doing what? Well, what are they doing? Tell us,

Cheryl: 36:37

what are we doing? What are the 40% doing?

Colleen: 36:41

what we're supposed to be doing.

Cheryl: 36:43

Yeah. I'll text her She said, well, I guess I wasn't meant to share that secret

Colleen: 36:49

Okay. So take us back. We're saying 40%.

Track 1: 36:54

I'm gonna dive back in So I was saying that 40 they spend 40 of their time networking I mean that kind of their work week, work week. And I, someone said, do I like, they were looking at that and evaluating. And I said, I do that. And, and much to the chagrin of my husband and all kinds of other people, they're like, why do you have to have coffee with 10 people this week? It's because I'm building those relationships and I've gotten every opportunity. Everything I've ever gotten in my life that's been amazing has been through that. Through those experiences, people knowing me, I share what I'm up to. I text people and reach out all the time. How are you? What's going on? I'm checking in all the time with everybody. And people pop in my brain and I video chat them. I call them, I send them memes. I just do all kinds of stuff just to let them know that and touch in and let them know I'm there and what's going on. I share what I'm up to and I want to know what they're up to. And that's how we figure out. If we can collaborate on something, if I can provide a resource for them, if I can be the resource, or if I can bring them into my thing and my mission and my stuff, there's all kinds of opportunity when we do that.

Colleen: 38:00

And I think you touched on something that's really important that I just want to make sure that everybody hears is that like, when you're doing this Networking, you are engaging, you are giving, you are providing, you are looking for ways to connect and help other people. And that's how you get the help in return. You don't walk up to somebody and say, Hey, what? And know anybody who can buy and sell want to give me a lead. No. Oh my God. How dare you? What? Weird. Weird. Right? No, you're walking somebody and be like, Oh my God, tell me about your room and making waves. Like, how can I help you with that? Like who's, who's your, the question I always ask anybody I meet is like, who's your ideal client and how can I find that person for you?

Track 1: 38:43

Mm-Hmm.

Colleen: 38:44

You know, like that's the part of this that I think people really understand that obviously you understand so well is you have to deeply engage with the other person. And think less about what they're going to give you and more about what you can give them. And then it comes back to you

Cheryl: 39:05

When arrive with arms full of value that you can, yeah, exactly. Like what, what do I have that you need? Let's, let's talk about that. And then that person will in turn, naturally want to return the value to you at some point.

Colleen: 39:20

and it might not be them,

Track 1: 39:22

they tell someone else. See, this is the thing is I don't know how many, I just got an email. This week from somebody that I haven't talked to in like a year and she's like, Hey, I want to connect you to this person, but I'm top of mind for whatever reason. I posted something on LinkedIn that they saw they liked, but they know me well enough to say, I haven't talked to you in a year. And yet I still want to connect you with this other powerhouse. And you two are like similar, like minded and could do great things together. That's, that's what it is. And I, I, that happens over and over and over again. When we put in those, I call it ROE, return on effort, not return on ROI,

Colleen: 39:55

Yeah.

Track 1: 39:56

on investment. Cause a lot of people were like, I paid money for this and I didn't get this. And I'm like, what did you do? That's what I ask all the time. What did you do? So if you joined that master circle and you paid 15, 000. For that master's circle. Did you show up every week to the calls? Did you reach out? Did you like do the homework? Did you, you know what I mean? What'd you do like to really be part of that and, and make sure that investment was working for you. Or did you just kind of go, I spent this money and I was expecting this instantaneous result and it didn't happen for me.

Colleen: 40:25

Yeah. I mean, I have somebody in my life who says, well, I just do the tasks. And because I do the tasks, they'll then it should work and I'm like, Oh my God, no, if that's not gonna work, like what, what effort and what energy are you bringing to each one of those tasks? Like, what,

Track 1: 40:44

Yeah. It.

Colleen: 40:51

robotically, right? Like, that's just not life. Life isn't a robotic checklist, right? Like, and I think about people asking me and Cheryl and I have talked about putting together like a course or something. And I've been really thinking about this. Like, how do I teach people what I've done to create my business?

Track 1: 41:11

much

Colleen: 41:15

to put that much effort or time into it. But it was just like you're saying, Tyler, like it's me leaving my kids sometimes to go to a, to a networking event, it's me. going, having 75 coffees during one week or, you know, like, like all, all of those things. I'm so jittery. I've, I've done, I've set up like three coffees back to back and I'm like, Oh my God, I should start drinking water.

Track 1: 41:39

at some point calling at that point. You're like, all right, I'm gonna go for like a decaf tea or something. Yeah,

Colleen: 41:48

with red flags through my body, but yeah. but that's it, right? And I don't look at that as like a grind. I look at that. This is an investment. This is an energy investment in my business and in these relationships because I want community. Like, and those are the things that are important to me. And so that's, it sounds like that's what you're also doing with, you know, with women making waves and with everything that you're building. Like, it's just so incredible to, to observe that, you know, like when you're in it and you're doing it, you're like, yeah, yeah, this is what I'm doing, but to see other people do it and see them succeed as well as like. Really amazing.

Track 1: 42:29

that's the best part. That's the best part for me is seeing it actually happen. And there were many times, there were many days I sat there and I was like, should it quit? Nobody cares. It's crickets. People aren't showing up to events. They're, they've complained about the ticket price. I mean, I got all kinds of stuff. I've, I've dealt with all of it, literally all the things about, you know, I'm not worthy to, I can't leave the kids. I've heard every single thing that you would ever imagine. I've had everything go wrong that could ever happen. And in events, it's like that. It's just chaos all the time. And a lot of times nobody sees the chaos behind the scenes because they're at the event and they just go, Oh, it's a fabulous event. And I'm like, You didn't see like all the thousands of things that happened prior to you arriving, but we just go on with the show. I mean, it's like kind of the show go on and we have fun and we do what we do, but I can't imagine it any other way. And that's really what I was saying earlier is what if I was like, would I do this? Would I be okay with quitting today? And then how do I feel? How would I feel tomorrow? Terrible because I made kind of this, I feel like I was tapped. I don't know if that makes sense to both of you, but during 2020, when this became clear to me, I feel like I got a tap on the shoulder, like you're going to do this and are you ready for it? Are you, are you willing to accept it and take on this, this kind of task?

Colleen: 43:43

So Tyler, Tell us where people can find you. Like, how do they reach out to you if they're interested in women making waves or they're interested in the next wave, how do they find you? How should they reach out to

Track 1: 43:56

Yeah, I'm happy to share. So basically we play on Instagram. So you'll find us on Instagram@women.making.Waves or on our website, women there's a hyphen in between each one, women-making-waves.com and then the next wave program is on our homepage. So you'll just see it right there when you pop in. You can find out more about it.

Cheryl: 44:20

for being here. We have thoroughly enjoyed this. And look forward to continuing to be a wave maker

Track 1: 44:26

This was really awesome. It was such a treat to talk to both of you. Colleen, it was so great to meet you. Like more I've seen you on the to reality series, but it's so nice to actually talk to you this way and get to know a little bit more about you. So thank you.

Colleen: 44:40

so much for being

Cheryl: 44:40

Thank you.

Track 1: 44:42

And yeah, we're all doing it right. I'm just going to end it with that. We're doing it right, our right. Whatever our right is, that's

Cheryl: 44:48

Mm hmm. That's right. All right. Talk to you soon.