Becoming Happier, Healthier and more Human with Skye Michiels

In this episode, we delve into the concept and importance of coaching within for entrepreneurs, but with a unique focus on integrating personal happiness, health, and human connection. 

The guest, Skye Michiels, founder and CEO of With Heart Coaching company, shares his journey from teaching, to real estate, to creating a coaching business that combines decades of industry experience with a profound emphasis on life and self-improvement. 

Skye discusses his decision to leave a secure job to pursue coaching, aiming to address the person behind the business, breaking away from the traditional hustle culture, and focusing instead on building sustainable, meaningful relationships with clients and leading a balanced, fulfilling personal life. 

The conversation covers guilt associated with work-life balance, particularly distinguishing between 'mom guilt' and 'dad guilt,' and highlights the necessity of inclusivity, representation, and self-care within professional environments. 

It also introduces the 'happier human' program designed to foster a supportive, community-driven approach to personal and professional development.
Follow along on instagram @SkyeMichiels

00:00 Exploring Mom Guilt and Gender Pressures

01:31 Introducing the First Male Guest: Skye Michiels

04:21 Skye's Journey from Teaching to Real Estate and Coaching

08:55 The Emotional Rollercoaster of Entrepreneurship

14:44 Skye's Vision for a Holistic Coaching Approach

22:13 Redefining Success and Professional Boundaries in Real Estate

30:22 Navigating Financial Health and Wellness

31:10 Embracing a Holistic Approach to Wellness

32:42 Implementing Systems for Professional Boundaries

33:03 Strategies for Effective Communication and Boundaries

38:07 The Power of Being 'Healthy Selfish'

39:35 Addressing Mom Guilt and Gender Expectations

42:50 Championing Diversity and Inclusion in the Industry

48:03 Introducing the 'Happier Human' Coaching Program

52:31 Exploring Group Coaching and Flex One-on-One Coaching

56:50 Managing Ideas and Staying Organized

57:53 Connecting with Skye and Closing Remarks

Transcript

Skye Michiels: 0:00

I do think as moms, I think there is, you know, I think there's more mom guilt than there is dad guilt. I will say, I mean, um, obviously I go through a little bit of guilt. Like if I am on a phone call and I have my kids, there's, there's some, I definitely feel a little guilt. I think there's, this is just my theory and you guys can tell me if I'm wrong or not, but I do think there's.

Colleen: 0:20

We'll totally

Skye Michiels: 0:21

Yeah. Good. I do

Cheryl: 0:24

Coyotes are waiting.

Skye Michiels: 0:25

yeah, I will say there's way more pressure on women and moms to be all things right there. Like I think as a, and I don't know, I'm trying to make sure I'm not like

Cheryl: 0:39

So far, you've got a big fan club of

Colleen: 0:41

You're good. You're good.

Cheryl: 0:41

going.

Skye Michiels: 0:43

And I'm, I'm talking to dads too. I'm talking to men too, because I think it's important for men to realize this, right? That you, like your husband, it's important for him to realize that you feel the pressure greater than he does.

Cheryl: 1:28

We're doing this right? Right, Colleen?

Colleen: 1:31

I think that today, particularly we are doing this really right because we have a first on our show, right? Cheryl?

Cheryl: 1:38

Tell me, what's our, what, what's, what's so new?

Colleen: 1:41

Well, I mean, you know, we talked about, we have four male listeners,

Cheryl: 1:45

Yes, we have four male, male

Colleen: 1:46

three, and now we're going to have our first ever man guest and I'm so, so, so excited about it and we're really honored because it's a very, very

Cheryl: 1:58

we are really on it. Yes. So we welcome Skye Michiels to the podcast. Hello Skye.

Skye Michiels: 2:03

Hi guys. I'm, you're probably first, your first Skye as well on the podcast, I'm guessing as well.

Cheryl: 2:09

Yes. Yes. Two firsts today. So Skye Michaels is the founder and CEO of With My Heart. Heart coaching company. He combines 23 years of real estate experience with decades of training on life and self improvement. He is the former head of coaching at compass real estate and is a loving dad of two amazing children. Welcome.

Skye Michiels: 2:35

Thank you so much for having me on. And I'm honored to be your first male guest.

Cheryl: 2:39

We're so excited to have you.

Colleen: 2:41

love so Cheryl always gets the bios and I don't always get to read them cause I just come up here and wing it. I'm just kidding. A lot of research. But what I love that you put in your bio Skye is that you're a dad. I always very intentionally put in my bio that I'm a mom because that's important to me. But, you don't always see that in a, in a man's bio. And I think that that is important, right?

Skye Michiels: 3:03

It's probably, obviously it could just be, that could be the only thing I put in there. And honestly, that's the most important thing. You know, I, my two kids, Mackenzie's 14 and Hudson's 11. And, you know they are just. True to truly incredible Children and part of the, you know, over the last couple of years of traveling and working, you know, for compass was one of the best. Ever best things in my life ever from a professional standpoint, but I did wake up and, you know, waking up in a hotel room when you're on the road all the time. And then your daughter's like 14 one day and you're like, I got four years left.

Colleen: 3:41

Yeah.

Skye Michiels: 3:42

Right. And anyways, so just making sure I was there for being more present with them was a really critical part of my decision to, leave compass and you know, form my own coaching company.

Colleen: 3:55

I love

Cheryl: 3:55

Yes. So why don't you tell us about that? So Skye recently made a big jump. Tell us. So you were in a pretty, pretty secure gig doing big things for Compass.

Colleen: 4:07

You're famous. You're you know, you're a, you're a celebrity in the compass real estate world for sure.

Skye Michiels: 4:16

always say I'm, I was just a realtor. I'm just a realtor at the end of the day. Well, I, I'll, I'll start the story maybe back when I was in ninth grade, if that's okay. And basically when I was in ninth grade, Okay. Yeah, I, my teacher, Mr. Wells was my ninth grade English teacher. And we, we grew up pretty poor. So I, I, Mr. Wells would allow you to redo any paper as many times as you want to earn as high grade as you wanted to. So I was not very good in English. So I would redo my paper by hand over and over and over. And at the end of the year, I remember he was such a great teacher and such a great influence on me. The end of the year. He showed up and it dates me a little bit, but he showed up at my door when he, he gave me a word processor so I didn't have to rewrite my papers and it's just like one of those small gestures that I would always remember the rest of my life. And at that moment I was like. I want to be a teacher, you know, and I was an athlete, had great coaches. So I always knew growing up, I wanted to be a teacher. So I went to Syracuse university, I graduated, I was a high school history teacher and you know, I got a great job right out of college and. Right away. I was like, damn, I'm still poor. So I, unfortunately it's like you go by master's degree, five years of schooling. So I got into real estate back in 2002, just as my side gig, like every teacher has their side gig. And I took to it like a fish in water. And I use my same skills as a teacher in real estate. Right. Education, training, connecting with people, being able to explain things. So it really just took off. And basically I made, I did both for three years. Cause once again, you guys know what it's like to have a secure paycheck benefits. And then make the jump. So to make a long story short, I finally went full time in 2005. And but throughout my career in real estate, as a group, I was always doing trainings, right? I was, I was always at Keller Williams. I was, I was the head of our training department at our, at our office. Like I was always on panels. So I always enjoyed giving back. And then in 2018, when I formed Compass not when I didn't, but when compass came to Philadelphia and I took over as the managing director in Philadelphia with my dear friend, John Belick and we started growing it, we made training as the cornerstone of what we did. So we had trainings all the time. So I was constantly there. And then if you guys remember March of 2020 COVID hit and,

Cheryl: 6:44

that pandemic.

Skye Michiels: 6:45

that little thing called the pandemic. And I started the six amers back then, and that grew to be a national thing. In addition, I was also on the coaching at compass team, which is our virtual training platform and Lance Pendleton and some other amazing sales managers in there. And then two years ago, I was elevated to the head of coaching at compass. My original title is the head of agent development, but eventually coaching. And I was the co head of coaching with Courtney Smith. And so I always knew that coaching and training was part of my My life vision from ninth grade till today. And, you know, once again, as the years were going on of working, you know, traveling as my, with my role and everything like that, I knew that forming this coaching company was my, my life's work. And really I get. To combine everything I've learned through 23 years of real estate and leadership and running teams, you know, being a sales manager, being the head of coaching, I get to combine all that with 47 years of life. And, you know, I, over these years, I've had a ton of self help courses. I've read so many books, listen to endless podcasts and have lots of therapy as well. So I get to combine all that into one company. And when I really made the decision to form the company, you know, you always, the company was formed in my mind years ago and there's never the right time. But, you know, as the year sort of transitioned from 2023 to 2024. It just, I made the decision and now it's the time to go. So I launched a left compass on February 29th of 2024. And I've

Cheryl: 8:33

Good day to leap. What a good day to leap.

Skye Michiels: 8:36

it was such a cool like way to, you know, the universe sort of handed that day and the there's such great. Great things about being able to leave on that day and everything like that. And I was, it was a really sad day. Obviously a lot of emotion. I did my last six hammer call tears pouring down my face, everything like that. And and then I went through, you know, you go through a morning period too. Like. There's a, even though, you know, there's so much that I am proud of, there was this mourning period of, of loss, so to speak, that I had to like, sort of go through. And then there's, you guys know what this is like when you form a company as an entrepreneur and every realtor or every business owner listening to this can relate to it. Now it's like that laying in bed at night and the anxiety kicks in of like, Oh my God, I got to pay my bills. I got to, I got to, yeah, I got to create from scratch, right? Like, cause you know, when you're an employee for a company, it's not like you take, it's not like you can take everything I did at compass and like, just say, Oh, like here, you got to create, recreate from scratch. Cause what I created at compass that's compasses property. Right? That's their intellectual property, which is great. That's what I got paid to do. So now it's like, I got to create from scratch. And so there's a I'm an ultimate optimist and I didn't anticipate some of the emotional rollercoaster I went on in this early parts of the journey. So

Cheryl: 10:02

The jump is scary. The jump is scary.

Colleen: 10:05

but you know what I love is that just the honesty in that right? Because that's something that we Cheryl and I have talked about so many times. And we were chatting quickly about this before we got on here, but just like, you know, the morning of leaving a company or leaving a place that maybe wasn't Yeah. Yeah. You know, you're ready for the next thing. So this is no longer fits the needs that you have now, but doesn't mean it didn't fit the needs that you had during that period of time. So you're excited about 1 thing and that's really exciting. You're really driven and you're really motivated to do this. 1 thing, this new thing, but you have to go through the process of that loss and that morning and that. And all of those feelings, I thought,

Skye Michiels: 10:51

yeah,

Cheryl: 10:53

I have an interesting comparison or example of this. Like as I'm leaving to go deliver my second child, I'm sobbing saying goodbye to my first because this is the end of her being my only kid. And I'm so sad that I'm taking away, like, she's not going to be my only baby anymore. Even though I know this next thing I'm doing is amazing and incredible, but it was like, I'm Beside myself devastated at the end of this chapter, even though the next thing isn't is even better. It's such a strange it's human emotion is wild,

Skye Michiels: 11:27

wild. Well, and I think too, we got to give ourselves grace to feel what we feel. I think often we're fed a message that, Oh, well, you should be excited. Like you should be ecstatic. Like you're forming the congratulations. Right. Yeah. Like, and, and so I think in our minds, no one's saying you shouldn't feel that by the way most, but we're saying it to ourselves in our minds that. Why do I feel sad right now? Right? Like, Oh, wait, wait. So I went through this process where I had to learn to give myself grace and, and be like, you know, I'm just going to feel it like I'm sad. You know, I love waking up to my six amers. I love waking up to travel and teach, you know, and everything like that. And I went from where every day I was in front of hundreds or thousands of people, right, to now being alone and building. And so. It was a, a big process of giving myself grace. So I think that's a lesson that people should really make sure they internalize that whatever you're feeling, just be in it and just, and that's okay to be in it for a short amount of time, as long as you know, and you start to take the steps to, to take little actions and moving out of it, but give yourself grace to be in it. Right. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to mourn. It's okay to miss. Right. But it's not okay to stay there forever. That's the key thing.

Colleen: 12:54

I think one of the things to, to, to recognize is that that doesn't happen right away. Like that doesn't sometimes that morning comes a little bit later. Like that's an, that has been an interesting transition for me in a, in a brokerage change because I, it was kind of a, a quick change and, you know, and my friend literally was like, listen, you're such a badass bitch. You like wiped your tears and called the next brokerage and set up, sign me up. And that was that toughness that I had to deal with in that time. And it wasn't honestly until a couple months later where I realized how sad I was about that and, and that it didn't hit me.

Skye Michiels: 13:32

Colleen, you're hitting me right in my heart. Cause I, the same way the first week I didn't have any sadness. I was all jacked up, like action. And it's like, boom, let's go. Like, Oh, website done. Like email done. Launch call scheduled. And then it was like, after the launch call that I, I was like, sort of like, Whoa, what is this that I'm feeling? Do you know? And it really hit me. And I think once again, I struggled in the beginning of like giving myself grace. Like, I'm like, why, why am I waiting a lake? Why am I awake at three o'clock in the morning thinking of like this, right? Why am I feeling like this? And it took me a little bit to just give myself the grace to mourn and to, to be. You know, to be sad about the ending of a chapter while excited about the beginning of another one.

Colleen: 14:21

Yeah. So tell us a little bit about this next chapter. Like, what are we doing? What are we doing in this next chapter? I'm so excited about it. We're shimmying

Cheryl: 14:31

of you listening and watching on YouTube, both Colleen and Skye are basically wagging their tails with excitement.

Colleen: 14:39

in our seats.

Skye Michiels: 14:39

we're doing that. We're doing the happy dance right now for those of you listening. So When, as I was, you know, observing the coaching world, as I was training agents one of the things that I observed is that the vast majority of coaching programs out there, not all of them, but most of them are geared at giving agents or business people in general, lots of tactics and ways of doing things with no care given to the human being. With no caregiving to the emotional side with no way of making sure you're building up the, the, the sort of emotional human habits that would support these tactics. And many companies are, it's very similar to the healthcare industry where they would just want to, you have high blood pressure. Here's a pill, take it. But when do I get off of it? Well, you can't get off of it unless you actually Right. Yeah. So in other words, like, well, let's, we're going to prescribe exercise. You're going to meet with a nutritionist. We're going to change your, your diet, your movement and your mindset. And then we're going to see what happens then. Right. That's the model that I really wanted to make sure I built was a model where agents and business owners didn't feel the shame and guilt that sometimes they feel with other coaching programs. Cause you're handed all these things that you should be doing or that you could be doing. And then you look at it and you're like, I'm not doing any of it. And I got to go pick on my kids. I got to, you know, show this house. I gotta do, how am I going to do all these 10 tactics that'll change my listing presentation or whatever it might be. Right. And it's not a knock on any program. It, that, that, those coaching programs work, but my specialty is actually being able to combine the human. And the business person into one. And so as I'm building every program, there's three of our core values. That's happiness, healthiness, and humanness. Everything we build is going to be built to make sure we're elevating people's happiness. We're making them healthier and we're really addressing them as human beings and making sure their business is being built in a human way. Because at the end of the day, I think that's really the future of real estate as well is we need to really recognize that the world of the, the click and get a lead, do a transaction, get another lead, do a transaction. That world is. Is going to, that's going to exist and going to exist in a high level, but the economics of it are really going to be suppressed and the competition is going to be really high. What I want to really push any agent that's listening to this is I want you to think of yourself like a high end financial advisor. And I want you to think of how can I develop a portfolio of people, of clients that are forever clients that I take care of. at a really high level. And as a result, they take care of me at a really high level. And that's, I think the model that I really coached you and I pushed you. So when I was launching the company, you know, obviously you're trying to come up with a name and the obvious one was Skye Michiels coaching, right? Well, the challenge with that is it didn't really speak to the values I have of, you know, being happy and healthy and human. And the other challenge with that is that I know this might come as a surprise guy, but I'm actually a straight white man.

Colleen: 18:09

How dare

Skye Michiels: 18:10

yeah,

Colleen: 18:10

How dare you even be here?

Skye Michiels: 18:13

I don't know if you guys noticed that, but that, and unfortunately the, our coaching world is really dominated with the people in privilege. And, and I am, I am of that class, right? So what I want to do with this company is I want this company to represent the world as it is. And the world as it is, is there's all different colors. There's all different mindsets. There's all different economic backgrounds. And there's a world where we need to elevate people of color, people of different genders, people of different economic backgrounds into leadership roles, and because it's called with heart coaching, there is a world eventually where I can lead from the back of the room, so to speak, and fade into the background and still be a force and a presence and what I call being an ally. Because being, you know, in some ways like advocating is not enough. I actually need to be an ally and I actually need to be aware of my privilege and, and make sure I take active steps to elevate people above that. And so I'm an ally, not a, you know, yes, an advocate course as well, but that's some of the background of why I've called the company with heart coaching is that eventually people may not even know who I am. And that's great. Do you know what I mean? I don't need to be the one on stage. I don't need my name in neon lights. You know, what I want

Cheryl: 19:37

What a

Skye Michiels: 19:37

person.

Cheryl: 19:39

what a great awareness of ego to be able to do that and set yourself up in that way.

Colleen: 19:45

And growth, right? Because this is what I've noticed. There's a couple of things I want to ask you just based on what you said, by you doing this intentionally, you don't have to be the face, right? And that allows you to grow. And I've seen, and I see realtors do this. I see people, businesses do this, where they put their name on it because they want their name there and that's important to them and that's their brand. But that is stifling as a business owner. Because. If I'm signing up for Skye, Michael's coaching, you better be coaching me because that's signing up for. right. And in the previous business, you know, that I had in my construction and design firm that I had in L. A. that I ran into a problem because it was my last name and people wanted me. And I was like, how am I supposed to do? There's no growth there. So for you as a, as an entrepreneur, for you as a business person, that is, also checks this box of your own happiness, health and humanity, right? Like you get to be able to grow and grow the business, which I think is so cool. And the other thing that Cheryl and I talk a lot about is we call it, I mean, we're talking about this with our, with our retreat that we're working on is like this holistic entrepreneur, right? And

Cheryl: 21:07

The whole person.

Colleen: 21:08

We talk about the whole person, and I think one of the things as far as agents go, I don't know that they always recognize that they're an entrepreneur. Like I don't know that they really wear that hat, right? And when you do wear that, but you walk, you're always running your own business, right? Even if you're on a team, you're running your own business. And when you look at it from an entrepreneurship. That encompasses every single part of your life that encompasses your kids that encompasses your spouse or not or lack of spouse that encompasses your health that encompasses all of those parts, right? Because when you're an entrepreneur, you're not just clocking a 9 to 5. Everything you do, you lay in bed all night worrying because you got to pay your bills to feed your family, right? And it's all in you. So I love, I like, I'm like freaking out over here because I love this concept because it's also so much, so in line with what Cheryl and I have been talking about for a long time is like, If we're really going to succeed as people and kind people and good people, this is the approach that is sustainable,

Skye Michiels: 22:12

Yeah. And I think as leaders as well, we, we, you know, need to reframe the narrative away from the hustle and grind culture that we're fed. We need to reframe the narrative that, um, my worth is tied to being number one or to doing, you know, having a trophy or whatever it might be. My, my worth and my hope of what I can bring forward is that your Success is actually measured in how happy and how healthy you are. Right. And I wish there was awards for the happiest and healthiest person out there. There's not, you know, the rewards are all internal, but we live in this culture that is geared at this hustle and grind. And like, if you're not, if you're not crushing it, you're, you're not, you're not making it right. And we got to reframe that. And I think

Cheryl: 23:00

those are such aggressive words like crush, like what aggressive word that is

Skye Michiels: 23:05

Yeah. Yeah.

Colleen: 23:06

We want,

Cheryl: 23:07

are so, I

Colleen: 23:09

about that. That's what we want. We want just success.

Skye Michiels: 23:13

And there's moments, like I said, this is like, there's Matt, you know, not to use gender terms, but there's masculine feminine energy or positive, negative, or what, I don't know exactly the right term to use, but there's moments where I got to go to my inner athlete and push and work hard right now. I'm in, I'm in a little bit of a, You know, I'm in an athlete mode right where I am working hard and I recognize and that's okay. As long as I recognize that I got to balance it with taking care of myself and like taking going back into my self care practice as well. So it's not to say that you can't You can't operate and work hard at times, right? But I think it's this reframing to your point of the narrative or the verbs or the, the way we describe it as crushing it or grinding or, right? No, like I want to be in flow.

Colleen: 24:02

Yeah.

Skye Michiels: 24:03

I want to be in

Cheryl: 24:04

love, I love flow so much. It's my favorite.

Skye Michiels: 24:07

that's it.

Colleen: 24:08

The societal definition of success where if you haven't worked hard and you haven't grind, you haven't been grinding and if you don't have an ulcer and if you don't or stay up late at night then you're not successful because obviously you could have worked harder, right? That's what society is telling us that we should be doing and that is an expectation that we perpetuate as well. We do. Look at how great I am at

Cheryl: 24:31

Well,

Colleen: 24:31

email at five at 1145 at night. Look at how dedicated I am.

Skye Michiels: 24:36

Oh,

Cheryl: 24:37

take this moment to encourage agent to agent, respective boundaries and business hours. And I'm going to take this from Lacey Newman. I see. Was watching her Instagram this week. And like, if that email can wait, like if you want to work at 11 45 PM, that's good for you. Why don't you schedule that email for business hours to go so that that agent doesn't have to receive it? In non business hours and feel an obligation to then get to their clients. And I was guilty of this this week. I sent an email at 8 p. m. with a counter offer and texted the agent and said, it's in your email. But I did then say like, I'm not expecting a response. Like I just want you to have this for first thing tomorrow, but then I should have just actually scheduled that for 8 a. m. The next morning, instead of sending it at 8 p. m. At night, that would have been more respectful to the agent on the other end. And I think that we all. Could do a better job at that of like, let's not set a Sunday at 5 PM offer deadline. You guys, that's fucked up.

Colleen: 25:31

Stop

Cheryl: 25:32

nice. Let's not set a Monday at 9 AM offer deadline. Let's give

Colleen: 25:36

midnight deadlines. Like what are we doing? Why are we doing

Cheryl: 25:40

let's be kind to each other. Like we, if we do that, we're working too. So let's guide our clients to kinder, gentler deadlines that give people an opportunity to think through what they're doing. Even when it's a hot market, we get to be in control of that as agents.

Skye Michiels: 25:58

yeah, it's actually better for the clients too. You're taking a, you're taking them one of the most stressful things that they're going through. And then you're talking to them on a Sunday night at nine o'clock at night about their biggest financial decision when they're exhausted. And you know, like, let's be real. It's like, Hey, this is the way the process is going to work. We're going to get all offers by Monday at five. I'm going to present them to you on Tuesday at nine. And we're going to have a response by Tuesday at one o'clock in the afternoon. Right. Like how much more professional, how much more happy And healthy is that?

Colleen: 26:33

I love,

Cheryl: 26:33

that's where we're controlling the business hours and in our buyer presentations and our listing presentations, we should be setting our business hours. You know, these are the hours we're going to work outside of that's going to be by appointment. Of course, if there's an urgent emergency, but like what's the emergency is the house on fire. If, if other agents are setting respectful deadlines, we should not have emergencies in this business.

Colleen: 26:58

It's, I would say is totally a self perpetuating thing that we complain about and, and hate, but we do it to ourselves.

Skye Michiels: 27:08

that's right. And we do, yeah, we're, we are our own worst enemies, unfortunately, in this. And it's, and you know, once again, I think it's, we have a unique opportunity coming up to professionalize this industry. I think these while there's a lot of stress in with the NAR You know, settlement and some of the changes that are coming. I actually think that this is a golden opportunity. Once again, this is why I go back into this model of being the high end financial advisor. When I have clients that respect me and I respect them, they're going to listen to my counsel. Like you don't go to your financial advisor and say, no, just sell that stock. I know you're saying not to you, but I don't care. Sell it. Like, no, you go and you say, Hey, all right, thank you for advising me and guiding me. Like and maybe you disagree, but at least there's a, a mutual respect. And I think when consumers are of the mindset that they're just going to click a button and go look at 10 properties, cause it's fun. And it's Sunday afternoon. Well, we sort of created that. You know, and well, and in our defense, we are supporting technology that's fostering that right. And to shame as a, as an industry, we can't say to some of the third party aggregators out there, just, you know, Sundays are no showing days. All open houses are on Saturdays and we, there is zero, no agent in America works on Sunday. I wish we could do that, but you know, that one day, one at a time. So one at a

Cheryl: 28:38

Yeah,

Colleen: 28:38

but I think at the, what I like that you do guys, you talk a lot about mindset because when you really get to the core of this, this is a scarcity mindset. Situation, right? We're always afraid. We're not going to get the next deal. We're always afraid. There's not going to be enough. You know, like I had this moment last night. I had a listing appointment. She's in Chicago. I'm in Indiana, different time zones, even though we're only 3 hours away. I set the appointment for 8 30 Eastern time. A. M. So 7 30 her time. She came to Eastern time. And still wanted to have the meeting at 7 30 am. I take my kids to school at 7 30 am. Like, I can't, I can't do that. But there was a panic in me that I wouldn't get this listing because I wasn't going to be able to find, I wasn't going to make that it's the panic. And I recognized what it was. And I just had to say to her, like, I apologize for any confusion, but like, is there another time? Instead, but earlier in my career, I would have asked my husband to take the kids to school. I would have had the meeting at 7 30 and I would have been stressed out about it. And I wouldn't have set the boundaries. And not only does that affect me, but then my husband's late to work and it's stressful for my kids. And I, and I'm not creating a healthy, happier human life. Right.

Skye Michiels: 30:03

Yeah.

Colleen: 30:03

setting your boundaries for my client. And I felt it was almost a moment where I felt like I had to justify it and say like, well, I have to take my kids to school during that time. I didn't say, I didn't say that because seven 30 is not a normal

Cheryl: 30:16

that's none of our business. Yeah. that's not.

Colleen: 30:18

business, right? I'm just not available at that time. Scary.

Skye Michiels: 30:22

And I think once again, it's like one of those situations where when you're not working on your wellness and your health, right. And so the most agents don't have a budget. Most agents don't have financial stability and I'm feeling that right now too. Like I, I haven't made any money in 45 days. Like I'm feeling it too. So it's like, Oh yeah, you want to do a zoom call at eight o'clock at night? Yeah. Like I'm, I'm it right in it with every agent. Right. I have that anxiety, so I get it, you know, and I need to, I need to do a better job of my, Financial health. And my sister, thank God is a financial health expert. So she's coaching me right now because I know if I was better budgeted and had more, I had X amount of dollars in savings. I'd be like, ah, I'm great. And I am great. I'm going to, everything is going to work out and I'm making changes, but I think this idea, you know, this is one of the reasons why we need to insert health or wellness, or you could use that word interchangeably into wellness. Everything we do. And that that includes our financial health, includes our physical health, includes our mental health, includes our spiritual health. And when we are balanced and when I say we were balanced, I'm not saying you're working at that, all of that at one time, right? You have imbalance in what you're working on, but when we have calmness, maybe in these areas and we have a systems and routines and processes in these areas, it allows us to be at peace. And make decisions that are good for us, our family and for other people involved as well, right. And, and that are healthy. She probably shouldn't be on the call at seven 30 either. Right. So it's probably not healthy for her. So I think that's this, what I'm really excited about doing is as I start to build out this company, everything is going to have this mindset of health. And, or wellness applied to the training. So it's not going to be, you're going to get on a zoom call and I'm going to berate you about these things you're not doing. It's going to be like, here's, here's how it's going to benefit you. Here's how I believe we should take some steps and routines to do it. And here's why. And then let's evaluate, adjust, and then make it authentic to you. This is a framework and you get to design within the framework

Colleen: 32:41

So

Cheryl: 32:42

Can I ask can you coach me on, I don't really need coaching on this, but can you coach my husband on boundaries? What would you say to someone that has trouble setting boundaries professionally?

Skye Michiels: 32:52

professionally.

Cheryl: 32:53

someone that has trouble setting professional boundaries? So we, Colleen said a great one this morning,

Skye Michiels: 32:58

yeah. Uh, so you're an

Cheryl: 32:59

would you help someone? Yeah.

Skye Michiels: 33:01

your clients.

Cheryl: 33:02

Mm hmm.

Skye Michiels: 33:03

the first thing you need to do is you need to look at your systems, right? So in other words, like I would do a scan, like a quote unquote, like diet scan or like, all right, let me think of where my boundaries have been violated or where I violated them. And then are there systems I could implement? To address some of this. So for example maybe you have a bunch of listings and you're stressed out and you're like, you know, are they mad at me? Cause I haven't called them or whatever. And this is a tactic that I learned from Lance Pendleton. So one system that I think actually every single agent should implement is on Monday morning, you send a bulk email or you can do a mail merge and Gmail compass that we call bulk email. Every one of your clients on Monday morning would get an email and that email will say, here's my schedule for the week. If there's anything that you're nervous, you know, you have a concern about that you want to schedule time to talk, please schedule my county link or if there, if none of these times work, email me some options and we can try to figure out a good time. That works. In addition. If there's an emergency text me the SOS emoji or the Batman emoji or whatever, whatever emoji, you know, I, I often joke around, text me the poop emoji, right. You know, it depends on your personality and how You do your business. Right. But text me that emoji. And that's my sign that you need me as soon. And if I see that the minute I can call you, I will. Right? And I'll acknowledge it. You know, I'm aware of it. And this way, if there's an emergency, we have a system in place. That I know that I need to get to you as soon as possible. Maybe you're, there's a leak in the toilet. Maybe there's a, you got a call from the IRS. Maybe there's a, the loan didn't, you know, whatever it might be. I that's my sign. And what we just did in probably 15 minutes is we basically communicated with every one of our clients. we we created the boundary to operate too. We gave them flexibility that if the boundary didn't work, They're we're doing, we're providing good customer service, right. By saying, Hey, you know what, maybe these times I'm available. You doesn't work for you. So let's have a conversation and we give them an outlet where they can make sure they feel comfortable that if there's an emergency, there's a system to get ahold of you. And the nice thing is we communicate our working hours without doing it in a way where we're saying, Hey, I don't work after five o'clock. Cause you communicate your working hours by sending them your calendar. Okay. And it's a Calendly link or Google, whatever system you use. So that's a really great system that you can implement right away. So everything in business and life really comes back to systems

Cheryl: 35:54

Susie, you hear that?

Colleen: 35:55

Yeah.

Cheryl: 35:56

hear that, Susie? Mm hmm.

Colleen: 35:59

Yeah.

Cheryl: 36:02

met our friend Susie Adamson, but you definitely should.

Skye Michiels: 36:05

yeah. And And getting a coach like Susie is huge. If you're trying to build systems, right? Because of the fact you, it allows you to really make sure you're, you're creating systems that work for you from a professional standpoint. But I think as you do this, you always got to think about when you build your system, you got to operate in a really high level of client experience, not client service. Client experience. So you always want to think of what's in it for them. So don't build your system thinking what's in it for me to start like, yes, that is going to get in integrated into the system. Right. But let's talk, let's start with the client mindset. All right. The client wants to be communicated with, they want to make sure they can get ahold of you and they want to make sure their needs are met. So let's start there. And then we say, what do I want? Right. I want to make sure I know when I'm working, I want to make sure I feel calm at night that my clients have been communicated to, and I want to make sure they know that they can reach me if there's an emergency, do you know what I mean? So, so start with the client and then come back to you as you build your systems. It's

Colleen: 37:16

And I'm even thinking like when you're doing that, right? Like if you're, when you're setting these times, you can focus that time on your client, right? Like if, if they're calling you during a time where you're picking up your kids from school and they're all getting in the car and you're frantic, but you answer anyway, because you're feeling stressed out. You're not going to be able to give them the best service. You're not going to be able to give them the best experience. Right? And so you're actually doing them a disservice and yourself a disservice by being this frantic about, about things, right? Being available all the time. Because if I answer the phone at, at 7 30 at night, when I'm putting my kids to bed, I'm not available to my kid. And I'm not available to that client, right? So that makes.

Skye Michiels: 38:07

a concept I call, if you guys remember from six amers, I don't know if you use this all the time. I called it being healthy, selfish, right? Like we need to reframe this mindset around like selfish where it's healthy, right? And it's, it's actually a practice of self love in many ways. And that's a good form of actually a practice of self love where I'm actually going to make sure I actually love myself first. And that actually allows me to love you more. Ironically, right? You know, because I'm respecting myself, actually, my respect level for you rises. So it's a

Cheryl: 38:40

That's my sitting down alone to drink, well, not necessarily alone because I have three kids, but sitting down to drink coffee every morning. I sit down before I do anything and drink the whole cup of coffee. I will not be doing anything for anybody until I've drank this entire cup because I'm healthy selfish. And I'm going to do for everybody else all day long. So this one cup of coffee is mine. You may climb on me. You may snuggle me, but I will be here. I used to be with Skye Michiels in my ear on my six AM or call while I did it. Now I'm with Emily.

Colleen: 39:10

uh, Cheryl has just realized the immense self care of sitting in the car for five minutes before going in the house, right? Cheryl working up in the car. Like I do that.

Cheryl: 39:21

Well, it's not before I come in the house. Cause the kids can see me coming down. We have a really long driveway, but I went outside to clean my car.

Colleen: 39:27

sit in your

Cheryl: 39:28

And the kids have no interest in that. And I just sat in my car with a podcast on and I was like, yes, this is where it's at.

Skye Michiels: 39:35

and I do think as moms, I think there is, you know, I think there's more mom guilt than there is dad guilt. I will say, I mean, um, obviously I go through a little bit of guilt. Like if I am on a phone call and I have my kids, there's, there's some, I definitely feel a little guilt. I think there's, this is just my theory and you guys can tell me if I'm wrong or not, but I do think there's.

Colleen: 39:56

We'll totally

Skye Michiels: 39:57

Yeah. Good. I do

Cheryl: 40:00

Coyotes are waiting.

Skye Michiels: 40:01

yeah, I will say there's way more pressure on women and moms to be all things right there. Like I think as a, and I don't know, I'm trying to make sure I'm not like

Cheryl: 40:15

So far, you've got a big fan club of

Colleen: 40:17

You're good. You're good.

Cheryl: 40:17

going.

Skye Michiels: 40:19

And I'm, I'm talking to dads too. I'm talking to men too, because I think it's important for men to realize this, right? That you, like your husband, it's important for him to realize that you feel the pressure greater than he does. Right? And there's more guilt that you feel than, than he does. Like, I actually don't feel that much guilt and, and maybe I should feel more guilt. But when I'm working. And I have my kids, you know, and I try to be very conscious of it, but there are times where I do do it. But for the most part, I'm, I'm able to pretty much rationalize that, but I, from my relationships with you know, my mom or sisters and, you know friends, et cetera, there is a little bit of different energy that moms feel, I think, than, than dads. Unfortunately,

Colleen: 41:01

I mean, a hundred percent sure everyone agrees with you. We did an episode with, with Susie about mental load and. Interestingly enough, my husband listened to that episode. He's one of our four male listeners. And it was, it made a huge shift for him because he didn't really, for him, he didn't realize that it was a pervasive thing. He, I think, I don't know. I'm projecting, but I think he just thought it was me. He just thought that I felt this way and not that it was something that most women feel right. And for him, he was like, Ooh. To your point, like it wasn't even, it wasn't like, cause he's an amazing man. It wasn't like he was not like he was bad or he expected me to be doing all of these things, but like, just wasn't in his reality that I would be taking on all of these things and holding it. So. Intensely. And, and I think that is, there is a difference, right. And that's to your coaching. Like, that's why it's amazing that you're going to be, you know, integrating and, and having people from all different backgrounds and genders and cultures and races and things like that, because every person is so uniquely different and they need so many different things and their perspectives need, need to be coached in different ways. So I love that.

Skye Michiels: 42:32

I think it's very important to that you in, in the guidance you're getting that there's moments where you can look at the screen or the stage or the, you know, wherever setting you are and you can say, I understand this person represents me, right? And I think that's really key. And, you know, with this NAR settlement, Susie and I have been going back and forth as far as like the observation of a lot of these online seminars that are going on and stuff like that. And it's like, you recognize the, you know, sort of the inequity that exists in our industry. White man, white man, old white man, old white man, old white man, woman, white woman, white man. And it's like across the board. And we need to change this narrative. I mean, and we need to, we need to push people to change it. And unfortunately, you know, the issues of privilege are very, very. subtle and hidden when you're in the privilege,

Colleen: 43:31

Yeah. Yeah.

Skye Michiels: 43:33

Whether it's race or gender or whatever it might be. And it's very difficult to recognize that privilege actually gives you power, and you need to give up that power. And that's a hard thing because For most people that are in privilege, they say, no, I, I black friends. I have, I, I have sisters. I'm a, I support women,

Colleen: 43:55

Yeah. Or I work hard. It's not, you know, that was a big thing. Like I work hard for this. It wasn't given to me. I'm not privileged because I was, I worked hard. I'm like, that's not what it

Skye Michiels: 44:05

That's right. The question you

Cheryl: 44:06

saying you don't work hard.

Skye Michiels: 44:08

No,

Cheryl: 44:08

not part of it. It's

Skye Michiels: 44:10

you have to ask yourself is what have you actually done to actually not just be like friends with, but actually take a step off the stage. Make it an active action to say, who do I actually know that can actually get on stage and instead of me and speak to this group, right? Who, and, and it's not to say that any of the people that are on these panels are, are bad or wrong or anything like that. It's not saying that it's this hard process that as a, as a culture, we need to go through of recognizing that privileges is a very slippery slope, and especially when you're in it. When you, when you have it, if that makes sense. So, cause it's hard, you know, like I struggle with it in the, sense of like Oh shoot, I didn't recognize it.

Cheryl: 44:56

of a group of high school girls or even like at a, at a social gathering and there's a group of, in a circle and somebody walks up, it's like, you, it's the visual of like, take the step back and make space. We need to take the step back and make space for other people to join the circle instead of it being the click or the small that's, that's existed all along.

Skye Michiels: 45:17

I went through this with a six amers because you know, I was, you know, you guys know, it was like four calls a week and you're just, I'm working full time, I'm a dad, I'm like, so I would just, you know, you just sort of lining up guests, lining up guests. And, and then I, I, I think it was Susie came to me and she said, Hey, can I schedule a meeting with you? I'm like, yeah. And then she's like, Hey, it's, you haven't had anyone of color on as a guest. And I'm like, my God. You know, it's like one of these things that I, I, if you would ask me like, Hey, Skye, like, are you, are you a fair person? I would have said, absolutely. Like I'm an ad, you know, I'm, I am a very fair person. And then all of a sudden I look back at my guest list and like, Oh my God. Like, thank you for. Bringing that to my mind and I didn't even realize it, you know, and then from that point forward, then it became, it elevated into my consciousness. And, you know, there's, it's not a straight line. There's always moments where you get busy and then, Oh, like, wait, I got to remember this. Right.

Colleen: 46:13

Yeah. Intentional.

Cheryl: 46:14

and it's, we talked about this before, the saying you do the best you can until you know better and then you do better. Right. You know, and I do caution people and Susie's great at this. Like Susie doesn't hold your mistakes against you. So Susie's never canceled me for a single mistake I've made. She calls me on my mistakes and I appreciate her for that. And that's what I urge everybody to do. Like, please don't. If I ever misspeak, if I ever am, have a blind spot, like I want to be called on that all day long, but please don't cancel me. Please educate me and give me an opportunity to learn and do better. And I, I wish that for the entire world. I think that we all need to, that's one of the things we need to to all try to do is educate, give people an opportunity to learn and do better.

Skye Michiels: 46:58

Can't agree more. I think it's huge. And, and I think, I do think as a culture, like we've gotten into this world where it's, there's, you know, such dichotomy, such differences of opinions, and we judge each other on our opinions, which is such a horrible world that To be in where you can't even like you, you should be able to have a conversation and disagree or have different opinions and then try to find common ground. And we've gotten into this world where there's just like, this is my side. That's your side. And if you're on your side, like Hatfield McCoy is like, It's a shame that we can't be in a world where we, I can have a different opinion, you can have a different sort of opinion and we can actually communicate and then grow from that more. And so,

Cheryl: 47:45

Mm hmm.

Colleen: 47:45

I have.

Cheryl: 47:46

It's that listening to learn instead of listening to respond.

Colleen: 47:49

Yes. Oh, my God. Skye. So I wanted to be coached by not you, but your team, because it's not always going to be. What does that look like? Like, what does the coaching program look like?

Skye Michiels: 48:03

So there, if you were to picture almost an upside down pyramid the first goal I have is I want coaching to be available for all people. So at the very top of the pyramid, once again, if we picture it as a reverse, right? So sort of the coaching that's available to everyone is the program called the happier human. And the happier human is my signature program where we get to combine coaching around business and life. Motivation systems, routines, habits that are all going to make us happier, healthier, and more human and run businesses that are more connected to humans as well. And we're going to do this through basically your, you sign up. If you were to sign up, it's a hundred dollars a month. So it's, it's at a price point where it's not extremely expensive, but it's, it's enough where you do need to be committed to it. And every Monday or each month, you're going to set a one word intention. So we get a energetic word going. We set one goal. And I, you know, that just one, not 10, not 20, not five, not three, one. What is your one goal this month around? And usually I want you to pick a topic around health or wellness, right? Whether it's spiritual, mental, financial, it's up to you. You can pick it around business too, but I really want people to hyper focus. Like I want to build a better connection with my husband, or I want to I want to, you know, be I want to have a good relationship. Lower my blood pressure. I want to lose weight. And then we'll get really specific with the actions. You're going to take that month around that goal. And then we're going to read one book that month. In addition on Mondays, you're going to get a motivational email from me. It may not be my motivational message that you tweak, but you're going to get something that's motivational. So we raise our energy on a Monday. And in that email, there's going to be quick and very simple and tiny things you could do around health, wellness, nutrition, exercise, whatever it might be that we decide to add in there. On Wednesdays, you're going to have, we're going to have two calls each Wednesday that you is trying to make it the same call for each one. So you don't have to choose which one to go to. And it's nine o'clock East coast time, two o'clock East coast time. So we get our afternoon people, you know there's an option for people that are not morning people. And most of the calls are going to be interviews with really inspirational people where you can get something. And then the key thing is we want to create discussions after the calls. So we're creating communities. So you'll do breakout rooms where you actually go into rooms where you can talk to each other and meet people and everything like that. And then Friday, you're going to get a motivational text message from me. And once again, it may not be my motivational message each week, but something that is going to try to raise your energy right before the weekend. So the goal is I want to be, you know, progress is not a straight line, but my goal is that you. Three times a week, you're going to feel positive, you know, motivational connected energy that will, if you're down, it's hopefully going to bring you up, or if you're up, hopefully it's going to propel you even further up. And this is you know, there's other things that are included in this as far as community building and, you know, one off like trainings on finances or. nutrition or, you know, other things we're building into it. But the goal here is to build a community of people that are all trying to get happier and healthier, 1 percent better every day. And that's it.

51:25

So do you have to be a realtor too? Participate.

Skye Michiels: 51:31

open to anyone. Now there will be some segmentation in the sense that the message that does go out to a realtor will be a little more geared to real estate. But if I have some mortgage people joining, I'm, I have a nutritionist joining, which is great. I actually have a matchmaker that is joining as well. Like it's, she's a good friend of mine and she runs a matchmaking company. And she's like, can I join? I'm like, absolutely.

Cheryl: 51:53

Well, you're going to have a service manager joining, too, Alex. This is on Alex's to do list to join.

Skye Michiels: 51:58

Amazing. That's a dream

Cheryl: 51:59

thinking that we're going to sign up together,

Skye Michiels: 52:02

I honestly, I think that is a dream come true for me because of the fact that if your your partner is a piece of your wellness And how much cooler are your conversations going to be if you listen to some motivational person and then later that night, you're like, you're, you're talking at the dinner table about like cool stuff. Not that you're not already, but let's elevate our conversations, you know? And I think it's. So, yeah, so this group is open up to anyone. And then if we go one layer, so we go into the pyramid a little bit, then I'm going to have programming like seven week programming. The one that's coming up is called the forever real estate client. So this is where we're going to actually teach you how to build this portfolio of agents and actually do some of the work with you and for you as we build it. Right. So organizing your CRM having marketing plans, having events, gifting making sure your marketing is actually different messages, different people, based on how you feel about them, not sending everyone the same email, the same gift, the same, this right. Using social media in a way where you're not posting anything, but you're actually using social media to, to connect with people where they are and about what's happening in their lives. So. Elevating the real estate business into this world where you have a portfolio of clients and the people you know are treated differently than the people you don't know. So, and then there are other programs that we're building out as we go, but that's our first one. And these, once again, the hope is that I've, there's other coaches that are leading some of these down the road. Not the hope, the direction is that's where we're going to go. And then the final one is something I'm calling flex one on one coaching. Traditional one on one coaching, I believe is not a benefit to most realtors. Cause there are 30 minute calls. You get on a call with another coach who's sort of judging you and you feel like crap. And then here, eventually you start avoiding them. You stop doing this stuff. I actually believe realtors function really well in very small groups or In ways when you're actually addressing needs. So for example, big team leaders usually have a need where they need help coaching their team and themselves. So this flex one on one on the team level is I'm coaching your team once a week. Then next week I'll coach you on leadership or whatever recruiting about adding value. The next week I do your team. So this is a huge value add you as a team leader can bring to your team. So it's flexible. And then if you're an individual agent, my goal would be, you can find another agent or two. And this way you have your tiny family, your tiny group that you're working with supporting each other. And we bring the cost down on the individual side on that. So you it's seven 50 a person versus 1500 a person. So this makes it much more affordable. And like I said, when you're working in a realtor's working in small connected, loving groups. Can conquer the world when you're on your island, it's not a good place for realtors to be. And traditional one on one coaching where you're on your island and you're being sort of, you feel a lot of shame and guilt, like, Oh, you know, I didn't do that. But then instead, if you have two or three people that you're in a group with and that week, you're like, come on guys, let's make sure we meet to do our CRM or, you know, did everyone make their call today? And I'm not even coaching at that point. Right. And this is a world where now the group becomes this like living, you know, sort of team without a team in many ways. So

Cheryl: 55:39

Accountability buddies. Love it. Yeah. I agree.

55:46

So what if we want to do that group coaching, but we don't have like a teammate or somebody we want to jump in with, we don't know anybody else willing to do this right now.

Skye Michiels: 55:55

Two clients in the one on one program. They know each other, best friends. So they're doing it. And then I don't have, I don't have this built out yet, but I want to build out like a, almost like a, I don't know what we would call it, but like a A waiting room or a, you know, like an interest room where I'm like, this is who I am. And you could actually, uh, down the road, you can actually interview other people that are interested to find your match. Like we're not there yet. Full disclosure. That's not built out yet. I'm still day, like, I don't even know, 45, 46 years. So anyways, this is what's cool though, about creating a business. Is it, you know, anything is possible, but it's also the trap. Anything is possible. So you got to be very careful to not not try to do everything right away. So that's like, it's a big, big challenge to not be like, Oh my God, I have this great idea and I'm going to do it. And then you forget about the really good other idea you had that is half done, you know?

56:50

What are you doing to keep all these ideas organized? And what would you recommend? We do.

Skye Michiels: 56:55

Yeah. Here's just, I don't know if this would help you or not, but maybe it depends. I'm a writer. I like handwriting stuff. So I have a, I have a notepad. That is my, my idea place where I have this idea and I'll just write it down. And this way I feel like I didn't lose it, but it's also not present. In my immediate, does that make sense? Yeah. Now some people do really well with like putting it in their notes app. I don't, I don't really use that much. I should, but you know, I I'm just a pen and paper guy. I'm a legal yellow pad kind of person and an idea comes and it's literally just a notepad with so many ideas. Most of them just go there and just. Don't ever go anywhere else. And that's fine, but at least I address, you know, my emotional need to like put it on paper. And then each day you need systems again, where, you know, what's important and you keep that top of mind. So.

Cheryl: 57:52

Awesome. Well, how can people find you, Skye? Where can we connect? Skye's

Skye Michiels: 57:57

so the easiest place to find me would be on Instagram at,@SkyeMichiels, S K Y E M I C H I E L S, a little different on the last name. I guess on the first name too. Our website is withheartcoaching. com. And then my email is Skye, skye@withheartcoaching.com so three spots you can find me and I live in Philadelphia. So if you're ever in Philadelphia, just call or text me and it'd be great to meet up in person.

Cheryl: 58:28

the best, you guys. Thank you so much for being here. Could you real quick just give a shout out to my friend, Rachel, my business partner. She's a total fan girl. Would you say hi to Rachel for me?

Skye Michiels: 58:38

I, Rachel, hopefully you guys joined the happier human. Let's go, let's get

Cheryl: 58:44

I know. All right. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for being here. All right, you, guys.