How to be an Ally: Stories and Strategies with Regina Very Modesto

In this episode of 'We're Doing This Right. Right?,' hosts Cheryl Medeiros and Colleen Hungerford engage in a candid discussion with guest Regina Very Modesto about how to be effective allies for people of color and other minority groups.
Regina, a real estate broker and board member of the National Association of Hispanic Real Estate Professionals (NAHREP), shares her personal journey and the significance of allyship.
The hosts and Regina delve into the importance of understanding racial and cultural diversity, multi-generational housing needs, and the harmful implications of a 'colorblind' approach.
They emphasize the necessity of continuous learning and self-reflection in being allies.
The episode highlights the experiences of three white women striving to do better and make a meaningful impact, acknowledging their ongoing learning process and acceptance of imperfection.

Connect with Regina via email: ReginaVery@KW.com
Learn more about NAHREP at NAHREP.org
 
00:00 Exploring Diversity in Indianapolis
01:09 Welcome to 'We're Doing This Right' Podcast
01:36 Colleen's Summer Nanny Life Hack
02:50 Introducing Guest Regina Modesto
04:28 Regina's Journey with NAHREP and Allyship
10:10 The Reality of Diversity and Inclusion
16:19 Personal Experiences with Cultural Diversity
21:14 Understanding and Overcoming Fear and Hatred
23:34 Challenging Stereotypes and Embracing Diversity in Real Estate
24:06 The Importance of Multigenerational Housing and Cultural Sensitivity
24:53 Diversity Beyond Black and White: A Closer Look at Indianapolis
31:02 The Misconception of 'Not Seeing Color' and Its Implications
35:43 Allyship and Advocacy: Learning, Listening, and Supporting
36:48 Local Initiatives and Personal Journeys Towards Inclusivity
43:40 Understanding Identity and the Power of Self-Perception
46:05 Connecting with NAHREP and Embracing Community Engagement

Transcript

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 0:00

the interesting thing I say about Indianapolis is, and when people talk about it being really white here and it is, but there is a huge black community in Indianapolis and a huge Indian community and a, and a growing Chinese community here. And an Asian community in general. And I feel like when people are saying it's a really white there, they're doing exactly what people have been doing for years and completely discounting large groups of people and completely discounting the fact that there are, there is diversity here.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 1:09

hello everyone and welcome back to We're Doing This Right, right? I'm here with Colleen Hungerford and this is Cheryl Medeiros

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 1:18

Oh my God, we're like on one of those nighttime shows now. This feels like one of those, like,

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 1:22

Delilah,

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 1:23

like, evening shows.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 1:30

Colleen, give us your big announcement, Colleen. How is your

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 1:34

Oh my God.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 1:34

today?

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 1:35

Oh my God. Last day of school. And I know everybody's going to be like, Oh, that means your kids are home. And yes, that is true. But I figured out this life hack a couple of years ago where I hire a nanny for the summer that comes at 9am from 9am to 4pm every single day, well, Monday through Friday, and she just takes my kids wherever they need to go. She comes up with activities. She plays with them. It's like having an au pair for the summer, but she doesn't live here, which means that I. I'm not responsible for waking anybody up. I'm not responsible for taking anybody anywhere. I don't, I can like fully, like, this is my time to shine in work and in personal life. And I can, it's like the best time of year for me. And I just love it so much.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 2:21

I'm so happy for

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 2:22

I realized that not everybody. It's loving the summertime. It's not if you can do it, it's actually cheaper for us, similar to like your au pair situation. Like it's cheaper for me to have one nanny watch all three kids, then send each kid to a camp and then I still have to take them, whatever. So if you can do it, highly recommend. Highly recommend.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 2:45

you.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 2:46

Yes.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 2:46

Very happy for you.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 2:48

Yeah. Thanks. Appreciate that.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 2:50

well, we have a guest here today, ladies and gentlemen, and I'm just realizing that I'm probably going to have echo today. And so I'm sorry, because I screwed up and didn't put you guys in my ear for some

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 3:02

Oh,

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 3:02

So sorry, you guys, I don't know if I can fix it while I'm on here live, but we're gonna roll with it. So here we go. We're not going to restart again, because we've already had technical

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 3:11

it was totally my fault.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 3:12

Well, I usually sound like I'm in a toilet, so you're fine.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 3:16

We're not perfect. And you guys know that about us. So here we go. So we have a guest. Her name is Regina. Very Modesto, and she is what this is her is her bio that she sent me. She's middle aged, which is a sweet way to introduce yourself. And she's just trying to figure it all out. Her titles include mom, wife, and husband. friend, real estate broker and volunteer. She is also serving on the board of the N A H R E P. And I said, could you please elaborate? And she said, that's the national association of Hispanic real estate professionals. And when I asked what she wanted to talk about, she wanted to talk about how to be an ally and not a douche. So I cannot. Wait to unpack that. So welcome Regina. And you'll hear me call

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 4:02

We love that.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 4:02

and over because that's how I know her, but she says that's how she measures if you're her friend or not whether you call her Regina or Gina. So if you know Regina as Regina, you just got checked. Sorry for

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 4:14

Or we just haven't gotten there yet. We just haven't gotten there yet.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 4:17

Okay. Work in

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 4:18

Exactly.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 4:18

it. Love it. So so start at conception. Tell us everything.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 4:23

So

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 4:24

you?

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 4:24

Yeah. Tell us everything about you and how you got involved with this and what's happening.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 4:28

I got a lot of stories to tell, but most importantly, what I want to talk about allyship is it's called NAHREP. That's what they, it's the shortened version of it, NAHREP. And I, so my husband is Dominican, born in America, but his parents are both immigrants. So he's first generation and we've been together about 10 years. We have our five year old son in a Hispanic immersion preschool. He's going into a Spanish immersion. He's going into Spanish immersion kindergarten. And I only barely speak vacation Spanish at best. So I gotta, I gotta get moving before he starts cursing me out in Spanish and I don't even know it.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 5:12

I love it.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 5:12

I got started with NAHREP a couple of years ago, a colleague of mine in my office. Was like, Hey, I, you have any volunteer hours, times to spend? I was like, I got some time. What's going on? She's like, cool. I'm going to need two years commitment from you. And this group hasn't even started yet. So it's going to be two years from the start. It's probably gonna take us another year. I'm like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. So being in Oregon you may or may not know that Oregon has, does not have the best history with people of color in general. Look it up if you really want to say that story. It's not good. but the small groups of people of color that we do have here, we're trying to make sure that we increase their visibility and make sure that they have a voice, particularly in real estate. One of the interesting pieces of information is that almost 50 percent of Hispanic families are homeowners in the United States. When that is a

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 6:09

Yeah,

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 6:10

has been consistently growing year over year. And so That's important to me because that's who my family is. And my husband his family has always owned a home. My family has always owned a home. And I think it's a distinct differentiation for kids and families growing up and having that stable home life.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 6:30

That's such an interesting statistic. I went to grad school in Oregon, so I spent two years in The Willamette Valley in Corvallis. And I can attest that it is white as hell.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 6:46

Yeah. when tanned white women are getting mistaken for Hispanic, it is a white place.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 6:53

Welcome to my life, man. Like if anybody has ever seen our videos or seen me, like I am culturally ambiguous is what I call myself because when I went to school in Indiana, when I went to school in Oregon, I am Greek and Italian and Irish and English as my dad will probably know. Make sure that I tell you but I, it, to some people look Hispanic, like, or, or like a Latina fine. Right. But it was just such an interesting experience. Cause I grew up in LA and San Francisco where there were lots of people that looked like me, you know and. And I can talk about this, but like when I went to Indiana for undergrad, you know, 20 years ago, every other day I got asked, what are you, what are you mixed with? Like, and I was like, I don't, it was a weird situation where I came from this very culturally diverse. community to a, to a not. And I was like, I don't really understand your question. Like, what are you talking about? But there weren't a lot of people that looked like me and I am also just a white lady. So it was really interesting. So I can have some, some reality on, on what's happening in Oregon, at least like a tiny toe dipped into that pool.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 8:12

Okay, well, I'm glad you said that because I was going to ask, I grew up in very white Northern California and I now live on the very white central coast of California. We have had Hispanics in both places more here than in Northern California, but both have been very whitewashed where I've lived. So I. And then my family is from the Midwest, which is also very whitewashed where I was from. And so I was going to ask, where is it not whitewashed? Where is it culturally diverse? Because I

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 8:44

I mean,

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 8:45

that yet.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 8:47

yeah, I mean, I grew up, so not, this is not about.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 8:51

pot.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 8:52

Yeah, well, if you're in cities like Los Angeles, they are and San Francisco, they are diverse. Now, that doesn't say that within those communities, there aren't lots of areas that are not diverse, right? Like, there are lots of areas that still need a lot of work or are separated by, you know, like redlining that still exists and things like that. But yeah. But I grew up pretty, in a pretty culturally diverse community and environment. And I was lucky enough to be a, to be a part of that. So for me, it was like, it's such a weird experience. You know, when I, when I went to IU, they were warning almost all the white kids that were coming there, like, it's really diverse here. So you're going to have to be really tolerant. And I looked around and I was like, I remember sitting in a, like a huge lecture hall. During orientation and I swear to God, I turned around and I think I saw like four African American students and two Asian students and not very many Hispanic students. And I was like, Whoa, but for some people, like I had friends who grew up in small towns that had never met a Jewish person before. And I was like, Whoa, this is a whole different world.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 10:10

let me ask, and I will be the ignorant one here that just has, that has not had the world experience to know, but is that not problematic that we need to be tolerant? Like, don't we just need to be

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 10:24

Yeah. And it wasn't, I would say that was my, my verbiage, not theirs, my, my verbiage, not theirs. That wasn't what they were saying, but it was very much that theme.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 10:34

but what, what are we, like, are we, like, we need to be allies.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 10:38

a douche.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 10:40

open.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 10:41

Don't be a douche. And this was 20 years ago in Indiana. So much different. But, but yeah, don't be a douche. And, and Regina, talk to us about your work on an allyship and talk to us about, about what you're doing. You and I both have husbands that are Hispanic or Latino or Latinx, however they want to identify. And I think That gives us a little bit of a insight, I would suppose. It doesn't give me full reality, right? And also my husband is the whitest presenting Mexican you've ever seen. So so talk to us about what you're doing.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 11:17

So I've had my real estate license for seven years, wait, six, seven, seven years. I am just working on my, all of my continuing education to renew this year. So no big deal. I've almost got it done and that's pat to my own horn, but honk, honk ahead of schedule. It's not like due tomorrow. I'm it's

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 11:35

Yes,

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 11:36

this summer. But it's just, You know, I was so focused when I, I got licensed the same week I found out I was pregnant and it was a mad dash for nine months to like get my business off the ground and like get things going so that I could have egg to be able to afford to put my son into daycare. Because with real estate, if you, if you don't, if you don't have anything actively in escrow, you're not making money. Right. And if, You're spending money to put a child into daycare to go not make money. It it's, it's a hard balance, right? So I had to hurry up and get my business off the ground so that I could afford to put him in daycare to continue to make my business grow. And at that point I was, I was really focused on just like my friend, my circle, you know, your sphere of influence, as they say. And I was like really chatting with my friends and like, you know, seeing But all my friends are like pretty white, you know, pretty at that time, pretty middle aged. And being more in an office space, like this is also like 20, 20, 19, 20, 20, all hell broke loose. I didn't see anyone in my, I didn't see another real estate agent that wasn't in passing or on a zoom call for like two years. So once I got back into an office there were colleagues that I'd never met before. And I was, I was, you know, in the office trying to like recuperate from the craziness that was 2021. And I'd made friends with her and we'd chatted and she's like, Oh, Hey, do you have time I was like, yeah, I am actually, I was looking for volunteer opportunities. I didn't, you know, one of the things about real estate is that you have a lot of You have no time, but all of the time. And it's hard to explain unless you're a real estate agent,

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 13:22

right.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 13:23

I have time to sit here and chat with you guys for an hour. In the middle of the day on a Tuesday. But

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 13:29

Sure. Yeah.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 13:31

like, I don't have that kind of time. I don't, I don't have that kind of time. so I had this time to create volunteer space and she said, we're trying to put together an Oregon chapter of this Hispanic real estate association. My, I had the documentation to put my kid into the Spanish immersion preschool on my desk. So I was filling out the paperwork. When she came up and talked to me, I was like, I think I'm supposed to do this. don't have a higher power. I really believe in, but I definitely believe in like a rhythm the universe. And the rhythm of the universe was telling me I got to do this. So we're still in a growing process. I mean, that was two years ago and our, our organization has only been off the ground since August of last year. So. NAHREP's goal is to advocate and educate mostly real estate agents about working with the Hispanic population. Whether that is language translations, right? Like that should not be me. Working with first time homebuyers, working with, you know, complex lending situation. So I 10 buyers people that don't have down payments, trying to get them different bond programs that your state is, is doing and trying to connect them with the correct, housing association. Here in Portland, we have the Portland housing association. We have Hacienda CDC, which helps individuals of all races and colors get their down payment. Because that's going to be the biggest thing. And I mean, I even see that with. You know, middle class white clients, you know, getting the down payment is the hardest part of the whole home buying process, right? You might be able to handle your monthly payments, but trying to come up with a chunk of change to get you in, that's the hardest part. just making sure that people understand how strong the Hispanic community is and how much it's growing. So There's a comedian, Harry Condobolo, he's had a comic special called patiently waiting for 2042 because 2042 is the year that the government expects that white people will be the minority.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 15:49

Oh, interesting.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 15:50

that's a combination of multicultural marriages. That's a combination of immigration and it's, it's coming and you better get on the bus or get out of the way.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 16:02

Wow. I had never heard that before. Cheryl, have you heard that? I,

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 16:07

No, I mean, I think I had heard that people would be the minority at some point. I didn't know

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 16:12

That's the government's best.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 16:14

yeah.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 16:14

up like the census data, that's their best guess is 2042.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 16:19

Wow. That's 20 years, less than 20 years, right? 2042.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 16:24

And I

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 16:24

how math works.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 16:25

that I'm Because I'm, I'm helping work towards that.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 16:28

yeah, I have, we really are helping the cause and Cheryl is not. So,

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 16:33

Okay. Well, hold the phone. Let's remember that I am every year inviting a new person, like Latina and person of color to live in my home with me,

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 16:42

yeah.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 16:43

to different cultures

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 16:45

That's

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 16:45

languages.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 16:46

didn't mean to shoot you down. I just meant you didn't burn any. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 16:54

diversity where we live and want them to grow up with diversity. So the first time that August was exposed to Martin Luther King day at school and they were starting to teach her some of the lessons Louie, our first au pair from Brazil. very dark skin and presents black and August had a lot of questions about wait a minute What does this mean about Louie? And I'm like, I know isn't that crazy that like not that long ago Like Louie would have been treated very differently and to be completely honest with you when she arrived here She was treated very differently in our little tiny town that we live in By our post office. I had to go down and raise effing hell in there. And like, how dare you treat this person this way? How dare

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 17:44

Yeah, but you have to remember is that not every immigrant has like an angry white woman fighting for them. so that is what I, the only, my only goal is to be the angry white woman for anyone that needs one.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 18:00

Right. and it happens. I mean, my last au pair, Who is Colombian and, you know, presented most recently to the most recent bigot that she experienced presented probably Mexican to him. He had the most words for her and both my husband and I, like it took every ounce of our being to not go and unleash on this man that was so disgusting to her. And it's like, how is this still happening? And one of the things that not to get political on this, Podcast, but for a moment, one of the things that was most eye opening about when Donald Trump was president was okay he made it for people to be hateful how comfortable people became being outwardly mean, that was very

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 18:56

I think that one of the things that you

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 18:57

It took the blanket off. Right? Like none of that was non existent. It was just undercover. And to your point, that allowed all of those, it gave a voice. It gave a platform for people to just. openly be hateful. And interestingly, like I felt like because I grew up in, in two very metropolitan cities that are very culturally diverse, I was almost sheltered because when I went to the Midwest, I didn't realize the KKK still existed. I didn't realize that people felt this way still. And it was so. eye opening for me because I was living in a, in a bubble, right? Like a good one, but I was living in a bubble and I didn't, it's very, very, very interesting. And you still see it.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 19:51

that statistic I gave you of a vast, you know, white people being that minority by 2042. That is not a good thing for a lot of folks, right? Like, I don't know how old you're or if your father's still alive. My father is going to be 69 this year and he is used to being top dog, right? He is used to being the best looking, the tallest, the strongest, the best paid. Like, being in a room and being the strongest and knowing that do whatever he wants. And I think that that is part of the problem that these gentlemen have, you know, they, these are also the gentlemen and the individuals that grew up on the cusp of women's rights movements in the late seventies and early eighties. And like women coming into the workforce, right? my, my dad is a wonderful man. And he did quote all the right things by letting. My mom go to college and letting her be out of

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 20:46

Yeah.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 20:47

when we were young. So he let her do all those things when we were young. But I mean, now she's got two master's degrees and a. Doctorate, so like, it's Doctor and Mr. Very over there now, but it's

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 21:01

Yeah.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 21:02

that don't understand, like, their, the, slice, they don't understand that they are not, it's just, it's not their time anymore.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 21:13

and probably there's

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 21:14

Oh yeah,

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 21:14

I listen to the Armchair Expert podcast all the time and Dax does a really good job of just identifying that. lot of this hatred and a lot of this, a lot of that, those behaviors often really just are stemming from fear, and that doesn't make it okay. It does help understand where it's coming from, but it certainly doesn't make it okay. I don't know the answer, except stop being a douchebag.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 21:40

is like the most, like, all encompassing, like, phrase, like, just don't, don't be terrible.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 21:45

right. Don't be terrible. Understand that you're afraid, but these other people have been more afraid longer and have had suffered so much, so much more. My husband just did his first equity, and inclusion training day ever. it's so interesting, the things he came back that he learned for the first time and his mind was blown

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 22:07

have a, for instance, what was something that he learned for the first time?

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 22:11

Yeah.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 22:12

Well, I mean this one thing that stands out is he, he sends me this quote and he, and it says, do the best you can until you know better and then do better. And I was like, Mm-Hmm,

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 22:23

You're like, I've been saying that on my podcast for like a year now.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 22:25

he never read a parenting book?

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 22:27

Is that, is that the, is that the first time you've seen that He's like, yeah. Or maybe it's the first time it resonated. Like maybe

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 22:35

Sure.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 22:35

he, he saw it and it, and it hit home because he'd heard all these stories and all these different scenarios.'cause this group he's in does a really good job of. Of putting it in their faces, it's like an all day event where they have a topic and they go through all these different stories and experiences to, to drive the topic home. And, It was just, it was very interesting to see his perspective on things. And I know it's hard for him because he's a white male, which, you know, they are the person that's targeted right now. Like they're wrong. They're wrong. They're wrong. They're, they, they're the enemy right now. And he doesn't feel like the enemy because he wants to be the ally. And so that's really like, it's hard. And I feel for him because he wants to be the ally, but he's like, like everybody's just beating on him everywhere he goes. Cause he's the white male. I'm

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 23:21

Well, I will say, like,

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 23:23

You're like, welcome to everyone else's life. Welcome to the world.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 23:27

know.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 23:28

will say, like,

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 23:29

Yeah.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 23:30

to step

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 23:30

understanding, like, what you look like,

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 23:33

put other

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 23:34

like, what you look like changes people's perspective of you, right? So, like, I show up to events looking like this, blonde hair, white, super white, Fat, tall, like all of the things that are like the exact opposite of what everyone expects me to go talk about. then like, they see me like talk passionately about NAHREP and their mission and trying to educate, like, we're not just trying to educate Hispanic real estate agents, we're trying to educate Agents about how to work with Hispanic folks, because there's just things you don't think about, right? Multigenerational housing, right? Like that is like my husband's family. Like they own a house in Florida and it's generations living in that house at any given time. is significantly different than my family grew up where there was never. There were visitors of extra generations coming. It was just me and my nuclear family at all times, right? His family had cousins coming and going and, you know, sponsoring family from another country coming and going. And so those housing needs are very specific to non white cultures is what I'm going to say, because that is a, that is universally, like that is a. It's very American of us to not live generationally.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 24:51

Yeah. It's so interesting you talk about that. So where I live, even though, even though, where I live in Indiana While people think it's pretty white, the city that I live in is almost 20 percent Indian and we also have a huge Chinese population and

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 25:07

I need clarification. Do you live in Indiana right now?

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 25:11

I do. Yeah, yeah,

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 25:13

Like blink twice if you're being held hostage.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 25:16

no, on purpose. Yeah, I'll tell you my story. It's great. It's a wonderful story and it's actually lovely here and it's much more diverse than people understand because I live in Indianapolis,

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 25:26

All

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 25:26

but we're 20 percent in Carmel. In Carmel, the city that I live in, it's almost 20 percent Indian. The schools are 20 percent Indian, the public schools and a huge population of Chinese and to your point, we have a lot of clients here who are looking for multi generational homes and we're also looking for A lot of specific things that maybe you, you talk about this, but like, because they're multi generational, we need a lot of first floor living. We need a lot of main floor living. We need a lot of guest suites and you know, it's a it's a different type job. Like it's a different type of real estate to be looking for these bigger family estates or these bigger family homes. Cause we don't really have like different than California. We don't really have like ADUs. Like that's not really. A thing here. Everyone's living in the same home building together. And it's very interesting. And yes, I'll tell you the story about why I moved here. I'll tell you another time because it's a long story, but it's wonderful. And it's been exponential growth for our family to be here. And,

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 26:34

that's like 7 a foot

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 26:36

Yeah. Yeah. It's a much more affordable. And the interesting thing I say about Indianapolis is, and when people talk about it being really white here and it is, but there is a huge black community in Indianapolis and a huge Indian community and a, and a growing Chinese community here. And an Asian community in general. And I feel like when people are saying it's a really white there, they're doing exactly what people have been doing for years and completely discounting large groups of people and completely discounting the fact that there are, there is diversity here. But what I found is interesting here, especially in Carmel, which is like, A very wealthy suburb of Indianapolis. People say it's so white there. And what they mean is that there are no black people, no African American people in Carmel, but that means they're completely discounting the Indian population. That's here, the Southeast Asian population. That's here. The Chinese populations that here, the Latino Hispanic population that's here, because so many people look at race as black and white, or they look at diversity as black and white. And I, you know, like I could talk a billion years about this, but like, that is such a discredit to people's cultures. It's, it's erasing people in, in big sweeps of like just discrediting that they even exist because it's not one or the other. And I think as Americans, we, we. We really define diversity. And I, and I say this because you're talking about a Hispanic population and my kids are Hispanic. Like we define diversity as black and white,

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 28:14

thing,

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 28:15

but these other

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 28:16

I was going to add, like, where

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 28:17

yeah,

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 28:18

you can't discount the socioeconomic status of folks as well. And that's, that's the

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 28:22

correct.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 28:23

we talk about often, especially when white folks talk about race, they are automatically adding the socioeconomic layer automatic, like without, without question, like, Oh, everyone assumes that because I work with the national NAHREP, they're like, Oh, so you're working with individuals that always need assistance. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. This is these assistance programs that I learn about are important for all of my clients, because I'm going to let you know a little secret. It's really expensive in Portland based on income caps, right? we need more people to be able to get that assistance rather than super duper low income folks. It's just, unfortunately, because of history, socioeconomics get folded in with

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 29:11

yeah. I mean, that's cultural bias at its core, right? Like that's a clear definition of a cultural and racial bias is assuming that it, because someone's not white, that they're not rich or that they're not wealthy. And it's just obviously not the case. But we were very intentional when we moved here. So about the schools that they went to kind of like what you're talking about when you, you know, is. My kids are white presenting and if I, we were looking for homes and looking for school districts and whatever, and I chose to send them to private school because some of the school districts here are pretty white. And I went and interviewed the, one of the counselors at one of the Elementary schools in the town just above mine. And my best friend went with me and she knows how passionate I am about this. And she was like, so talk to us about your, you know, diversity and equity inclusion programs at your school. Like, tell us about that. And this man, white man who is the counselor at school said, well, we have Martin Luther King day. We celebrate that. but people just felt like we didn't do enough for that. And he's like, and you know, and I don't see color, so blah. And I was just like, this was still in 2021. And I was wearing a mask and my face was like. You know, that's awful to say number one, stop, full stop. Right. But number two, this man was the school counselor at this school. So if there was a child of color who was being bullied or being upset about something or whatever, and this is the man that they had to go to, like, can you imagine?

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 30:52

no,

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 30:53

And I was like, I can't, and it would be very easy for my kids to go to that school and just be white kids,

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 31:00

hmm.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 31:01

Because they just would be.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 31:02

for anyone who's not heard, like for the first time they're hearing that explain why to not see color is not an okay thing. And they're like, wait, I don't see color. I don't understand. Explain why it's like, I, cause I think that used to be like the positive thing to say is like, I don't see color. I don't see color. Like, but that's no longer, that's, that's not being an ally. You need to see color

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 31:24

because it discounts someone's life experiences. It discounts who they are as a human

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 31:32

Yeah.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 31:32

oh, I don't see you. Like, I love being blonde. I work really hard to be blonde. If someone's like, oh, I didn't realize you were blonde. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me, man? blonde. I work so hard to be blonde. How have you not seen that? It's kind of, I mean, obviously, I

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 31:49

part of, you know, like a person of color, like that is part of their identity and that is definitive of their experiences and that is part of their culture and, and, you know, what somebody is proud of and what makes them special and what makes them different in the best way. Right. So if you're like, well, I don't even notice, you're really just saying, well, I don't really notice you as a person. And I don't, and I'm just assuming that we're all, you know, The same quote unquote, which we're clearly not

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 32:17

additionally the fact that other people very much do see color and

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 32:22

correct.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 32:23

it negatively. So you're discounting life experiences, negative life experiences that that person may have had that may be setting them back. And not only that single person's individual experience, but the experiences that the ancestors of that person have experienced that have. Put them in this socioeconomic position that they are in that they have had no choice to be in that they maybe didn't deserve to be in. So oftentimes we hear like, well, I worked very hard to get here. This is like me, white person. I worked very hard. I do work very hard. Cheryl Medeiros, white, middle class have had every opportunity in the world. I do work very hard. I do take advantage of every opportunity. have had every opportunity. I have had every opportunity in the world, except maybe a few that the white males have gotten that I've not gotten. But aside from not being male, I've had every opportunity. I have never, Not never because I'm not male, but I'm not discriminated against because of the color of my skin, because of the people that I've love because of a million other types of, of reasons that people are discriminated against. So to say that you don't see color means you don't see all of the, the many ways that a person may be discriminated against. So. I explained this to my just to someone close to me recently because

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 33:56

was really cool of you to like protect them.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 33:58

and this person. This person has like a, like a family secret. Let's say this person has a family secret that is embarrassing to them. And in school, a teacher called this person out on it in front of the whole class. And it was really embarrassing. And that whole year while they were in school, this teacher just constantly put them down in this thing. The student like was just embarrassed by it. And it was almost like wearing a scarlet letter that whole year in school that, that this, this family member did this thing and it was so embarrassing. They just couldn't get away from it anywhere they went. And it like made that one year in school really, really hard. And they had no control over that thing that family member did, it was, it just made that one year of their life really, really hard. Okay. Now being born a specific race or a specific color or a specific like. having a specific sexual orientation or whatever it might be that is different than what whoever decided that this one thing is how we're all supposed to be. And, and then your entire life, you wear that scarlet letter. You guys have doing quotes because I don't feel this way, but imagine wearing that scarlet letter all day, every day, and not just that one year in class, but there's a group of people that look at you and feel a way about something you have no control about. And you don't have opportunities because these people feel this way or they might think that, you know, because they heard this one thing, you know, but that's, that's what it's could potentially be like. To be a person of color or have a sexual orientation. So that was kind of my way of explaining to someone based on an experience, they had to make it relevant to them, what it could be like live

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 35:42

Yeah. And I think it's really relevant and really important for us to also say that like, we are three white ladies sitting here talking about this. And so like there is,

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 35:50

always

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 35:51

so like. Well, we have learned and we're continuing to learn and, you know, have experiences like the conversation doesn't, is not all encompassing here and the experiences that people of color have, or, you know, LGBTQ community we can't speak for that. And we can't speak to that, but we can definitely advocate for, for allyship and

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 36:13

to learn

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 36:14

and, and continue to learn.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 36:15

about optics.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 36:16

I will put my foot in my mouth all day long every day like I, I still do it wrong. I, and I, and I try to learn and I, I encourage anyone to call me out. Please, please teach me if you know, and, and be a teacher, but please be a kind teacher. And If you, if you're going to teach, if you're going to teach anybody, please be a kind teacher and give that, give the people an opportunity to learn. And, and I'm sure that's your

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 36:45

Yeah.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 36:46

Regina.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 36:48

What are we like in your, in your association? Like, what are the things that you're doing to help people? Not mostly to not be douchebags. Like, what, what is the allyship? Like, what are we doing? Like, how are we doing it?

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 37:00

it is a national organization, right? So we are, they have goals and they have what they want to do. Right. Right. But like, so there is what we do at the. local level to create an awareness about the differences that Hispanic families might need in their home buying process, right? I mentioned multi family, multi generational living. I mentioned needing to put multiple people on a mortgage, you know a mom and an aunt and an uncle all buying a house together, kind of a thing dealing with, you know, difficult financial situations. I 10s, if they're not a citizen, you know, buying with And I 10 number versus a social security number, those kinds of things. But for me personally, why I like being a part of the group is that had my, I did not know this at the time. Right. My goal was just to be like, how can I help? How, what can I do? Right. My goal at the time was let me jump in here and do some behind the scenes work, not be up in front. I don't need to be there. I'm really good at PowerPoint. So I was like, I can just like put a PowerPoint together. It's not a big deal. The thing that was told to me that I didn't realize was we had this big kickoff event, like, Hey, this is what we're trying to do. Everyone come together, like help us move this forward. And there were individuals from our governing boards, right. And, you know, In real estate, you have state governing boards. There are people at those events that were, that came up to me afterwards, like say, Hey, I was at that event and I was really excited to see a face like mine up there. So I feel like I can connect. one, these folks did not realize how many Hispanic folks were in our, in our organization, right? They didn't realize how many Hispanic realtors there were. one. So that's fun to like a whole room and very little English was being spoken. The second thing is like being like, I'm happy to be the touchstone to be like, someone doesn't know, cause like will say wild shit to you when you're a white person in different spaces. So like. You know, it's okay. I don't mind, like, hearing someone say wild shit and then, like what they've told me in a more appropriate way and then sending them on their way to see who they really need to talk to you like, Oh, we wanted to talk to someone about such and such and having your organization there. I'm like, let me introduce you to so and so let me, you know, I'm, I'm definitely the pass through for a few folks here and there because, you know, I'm not that our group is not approachable, but like, if I'm very loud, I'm also loud. That was also helpful.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 39:45

We don't know anything about that. Cheryl and I have no idea what that's like at all,

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 39:50

Not at

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 39:51

but you know, I think it's important. It's an interesting reversal of like, if there are people who are trying to get involved in this, but maybe feel like I'm not, maybe feel like an outsider and then they see you, then they feel like, well, okay, how can I learn to be an ally? How can I also contribute or how can I

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 40:09

real estate,

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 40:10

whatever?

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 40:10

different groups for real estate. There's like different alliance organizations. So there's like groups for LGBTQIA agents. There's quite, there's groups for NAREB with a B for black and African American agents. There is for Asian Pacific Islander agents. So like there's all these different When I, so I joined in, when I joined this office, had a couple of people come up and be like, Oh, you should come to this thing. You should come to this thing. I was like, do you really need another white lady at those things? And they were like, yeah, we need allyship. We need folks to come. I was like, but I was too nervous about being one. I was uncomfortable. Being a white woman in those spaces and not knowing what to do, by not knowing what to do, like, not knowing, not knowing, understanding, like, how I can help. And once I understood how I could help, I was able to jump in, and I think that was a mistake, if I'm being very honest. If you don't know what to do and you're feeling uncomfortable, jump in anyway. And just sit back and watch and like, chat with people, make friends, figure out if you want to help, if you want to just show up and be there, that's also helpful too, because a lot of these organizations, they, they need the numbers, right? Where. They, there

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 41:25

Yeah.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 41:26

organizations and we're judged and by our events that we hold and we're judged by the amount of money we, you know, gather and the amount of at our events. So like all of these groups, you know, national organizations and these local chapters, they need the numbers. So like if you know a couple of people show up, see what, you know, something you never know how something might resonate with you.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 41:48

think what's important and you're doing this and saying this is like, to be an ally doesn't mean that like you're up on stage hosting the event, right? Like you're in the back.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 41:58

Yeah.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 41:59

Right. Like there is a way to be you know, we talked about this with Sky Michaels, right, to kind of help from the background and to foster putting you know, people of color. Like in the forefront and, and that's. Part of allyship, right? Is to not to say, Hey, I would love to be the president. Like I should not be the president of like, you know, I was locally before I left, I was the president of women of compass. I should not have signed up to be the president of like black at compass, right? Even though that's a great, I can be supportive or whatever. Like we don't need a white lady up here telling us anything. But I could go to an event if I was invited to an event or I could help fundraise if I wanted to help fundraise. You know what I mean? Like taking those roles in allyship doesn't mean that you're taking the roles. I guess that's important to like

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 42:53

a

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 42:54

understand. Hmm.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 42:55

very good differentiation because it's also understanding the optics of things. Like I don't, So we had an event a couple of weeks well, about a month ago and three presenters on stage were three white men and we were chatting about like how we wanted the flow to go. And I was like, they were like, Oh, you know, I was like, Oh, I can go through this and I can do this part. And they're like, Oh, are you going to do this part too? I was like, Oh no, no, no, no, no. We do not need, we need to get our president up there. Our president needs to be up there asking these questions. Cause the last thing we need in an NAHREP event is a white woman asking three white men about issues about Hispanic folks. I was like, no, thanks. That's not a good look.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 43:36

Yeah.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 43:37

was like, Oh, good. Yeah.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 43:39

Okay.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 43:39

That's not a good look.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 43:41

I have to tell you guys the cutest, funniest thing, right? So like I said before, I am culturally ambiguous. I have like tan olive skin and dark eyes and dark hair. And my two boy, my daughter is blonde and blue eyed. It looks like she could be Cheryl's kid, but my two boys look Just like me and at our school, they work on identity projects. They're very we go to this really awesome progressive education school and very early on, they talk about identity and self identity and, and they're always drawing themselves. And my boys always draw themselves as Brown and I think it is just so interesting. Like, you know, when I was growing up, I would have reached for the peach. Like if I was drawing my skin color, I would have reached for the peach crayon, probably because there were only peach or brown, right? Like we didn't have all the different crayons, but my boys really see themselves as tanned or, or brown or something like that, where Vivian doesn't. And, Every time it comes home, I just, I don't laugh, but I'm just like, wow, this is really interesting how they view themselves and how self identity is so important, right? Like how we're, how we see ourselves is, is important to how we're presenting ourselves in, in a community and how we're showing up and things like that. But I'm always like, Oh my God. As a five year old and an eight year old, like, this is how they're seeing themselves, and I'm, and it's not anything other than, like, interesting and I always said it to my sister, and she's like, well, your son thinks he's black, and I'm like, okay, well, he's not, he's just black. Brown. But I, we didn't like have that experience as children, right? Like if you, we didn't do self discovery or self or self identification or, or, or identity projects at all. And I, and I'm hoping that, you know, that makes the kids that are now doing that, like a little bit more aware, right? Like they do a little bit, everybody's a little bit more aware of their their own identity, which. Which is helpful in understanding other people's identity, I think, but it's just so funny. I was like, Oh my God,

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 45:50

and I had no arms. So I assume that means we're the cookie monster family. Awesome.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 45:55

I love it. I love it. I want to be the family.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 46:01

Big fan of Bluey over here.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 46:03

Oh my gosh.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 46:05

Please tell us how, number one, we can get more information about NAHREP and how we can get more information about Regina Verimodesto where people can connect with you.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 46:17

very Google able because I am a real estate agent. I'm licensed in Washington and in Oregon. ReginaVery@KW.Com. Great email. My number is all online. Call me. Also https://nahrep.org/

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 46:34

slide into your

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 46:34

I'm sorry.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 46:36

Slide into

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 46:36

into those DMs. NAHREP. org is the national website or national. then here in Oregon where there's only one chapter. So we are NAHREP Western Oregon. So if you aren't interested in joining or hanging out with us, let us know.

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 46:56

Awesome.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 46:57

you for

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 46:57

Thank you so much.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 46:58

less douchey today. I

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 47:00

I'm just in this area. I don't know. You might be douchey in other ways.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 47:04

Doo doo doo. I definitely am. That's just who I am. I'm a little bit douchey. Well, thank you

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 47:12

Thank you so much again.

regina-very-modesto--she-her-_2_05-22-2024_092016: 47:14

so fun hanging out with you guys.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 47:15

and good night. I know. Thanks

colleen_2_05-22-2024_122017: 47:18

Thanks.

cheryl_2_05-22-2024_092016: 47:19

All right.