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We’re doing this right. Right?
Mentoriship and Coaching: The Secret Weapon or Overrated Hype?
Text us! We know you feel like part of the conversation! We want to hear your input!
In this episode, hosts Cheryl Medeiros and Colleen Hungerford dive deep into the nuances of mentorship and coaching.
They share personal experiences, debate the roles and values of mentors versus coaches, and give practical advice on being a good mentor and mentee. Whether you're seeking guidance for professional or personal development, this discussion offers valuable insights on finding and benefiting from mentorship and coaching relationships.
00:00 Introduction and Initial Thoughts
00:53 Personal Updates and Catching Up
02:27 Wedding Exhaustion and Reflections
03:42 Topic Introduction: Mentorship
03:54 Defining Mentorship and Coaching
04:31 The Coaching Culture Explosion
05:38 Personal Experiences with Coaching
15:17 Finding the Right Mentor
16:46 The Importance of Reciprocal Relationships
22:29 Formalized Coaching and Mentorship
23:30 Eliminating Distractions for Smarter Work
23:59 The Tangible Benefits of Susie's Coaching
24:37 Vision to Reality: Implementing Actionable Steps
26:21 Mentorship vs. Coaching: Key Differences
27:04 Becoming a Mentor: Are You Ready?
28:49 Effective Mentorship: Setting Expectations and Boundaries
31:32 Tips for Being a Good Mentee
36:48 Learning from Every Interaction
44:17 Curating Your Life for Success
46:01 Conclusion: The Value of Mentorship and Coaching
I think that as much as the good that we see is, and this is just to like further illustrate your point, the good that we see is such a motivational and like aspirational thing, but discomfort, failure, negativity is even a bigger lesson oftentimes.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Oh my gosh. Yes.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Welcome back. We're doing it right, right? Are you doing it right today? How's, how's your rightness?
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:I am, I'm doing it tired today, if I'm really honest. we just got back from Denver and we got back at like 1:00 AM and then I had like meetings first thing this morning. So I'm here and I'm doing it. I don't know if it's right or wrong,
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:But it's tired. It's
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:but it's tired. But I am like putting on all the energy and just moving forward. So here we are. How are you doing?
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:I'm doing it with a fake it till you make it attitude. I started with a
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Love that.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:day. Started really good. I had happier human with Sky Michaels. Shout out Sky. He had a really great guest on. I felt super motivated, inspired. Um, and then I got in an argument with my husband,
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Oh man.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:so D Real,
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Also, today's my 14th wedding anniversary
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:happy
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:and
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Marriage is
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:you,
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:It's just the best.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:I haven't talked to my husband at all today.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Well, are
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Um, we haven't planned anything because we were just at his brother's wedding. We were five days in Denver at his brother's wedding. And so they got married the 15th, our anniversary is the 17th. So it just kind of has like overtaken, which is fine. I'm not upset about it, but
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:you
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:I'm like, oh yeah. Yeah, no,
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:in law and brother in law got married?
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:listen, I don't know if I'm just getting old or it was the altitude or it was like all of it. It was like, I am just so exhausted. It was, and this is not what we're talking about today, but here we are. So it was, the wedding was on Monday and we got there Friday. So it was like Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Monday of like events and things and like family and whatever. So it was super fun. The wedding was gorgeous. But I am wiped out. So, and it's the middle of the week.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Well, yeah, that, that, that timeline's a little bit tricky. like to come home on a Saturday, personally. I to have Sunday to like,
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:the family and the life back together and then start my week. But coming back,
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:in the middle of the week, and not like,
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:I like woke up today and I was like, what? I was like, Oh, what? What time? And what day is it? What was it? Monday? Like what's happening? So anyway but that's not what we're talking about. Although I could do a whole episode on just functioning while tired, but that's not what we're doing.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:I can do a whole life on functioning while tired. Uh, today we're going to talk about mentorship. What is it?
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yes.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:When are you ready to be one? How do you find one? This whole concept around mentorship. So
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah. I
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:brief definition as I love to do.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:love that. Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:in which a more experienced or knowledgeable person, the mentor, provides guidance, advice, support, and feedback to a less experienced person. or knowledgeable person, the mentee. This relationship is designed to foster the mentee's personal and professional growth, helping them to develop skills, gain knowledge, navigate challenges, and achieve their goals. So I'm going to just pause real quick and say, gosh, this sounds like an awful lot like the new coaching culture that is out there,
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Like coaching culture has exploded. And I think especially because we're in the real estate world, I think it is like kaboomed in the real estate world. Like everybody is a coach.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:personal development. you and I are
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yes.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:focused on personal development. So the algorithm is feeding us coaches. Like the space that we're in in general is with people trying to improve themselves personally and professionally. So with that comes a coach for everything. This morning I was on happier human and somebody in the chat said, I need help with this skill. Like, anybody have any ideas of where to start? immediately the first comment was a coach that said, I'll reach out to you this week. And while I believe that coach is and authentic and wanting to help that person, it does feel a little bit like constant sales pitch.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:I feel so many ways about mentorship and coaching culture. I feel so many ways because I think it's very good. And I have a business coach and have been coached and have found mentorship in a lot of different places, but sometimes I feel like we're, as of right now. Instead of in some instances like that, like instead of just like solving the problem, like, are we overcomplicating it by adding a coach or are we not like, or is that the right thing to do? And like, how many coaches does one need to have? And at one point, like at one point, are we just like non functioning humans that are being told what to do and coached in all different directions and every single part of what we're doing? I don't know. I. I don't, I don't hate coaching. I love it. I think I love, I think that there's absolutely a place for it. I find myself to be coaching people quite a bit and you do too, Cheryl. Like we love that, but I'm also just like, I don't know, maybe we don't need a coach for everything. I don't, maybe we do. What do you think?
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:don't know. I mean, okay. So when that interaction took place, I am doing a version of coaching in my office now, where I You know, I'm coaching people on the compass technology and my, not just compass technology, but just my system of how I'm running a transaction. Cause it's very efficient and it utilizes a lot of technology and I'm working smarter and not harder. And while I have pitched that in general in the office, like if anybody's interested in this, I'm happy to do it. I, the thought that came to mind when I saw that, that person's approach to selling her coaching was. I would much rather live my life authentically and out loud and then let people come to me for that. that's
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Hmm.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:office now, where like, I
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Right.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:she's raved about it, I've mentioned that I do it, and I live out loud with like, In office meetings, I'm always offering like, Oh, did you know that your platform does this for you? Or have you seen this tool that Google has? Or, you know, I'm sharing the things and then now people approach and say, I'm actually interested in that. How does it work? Rather than like, I'm not pursuing, I guess, because also I spent 12 years in outside sales where I was cold calling. And, and then I made the shift into real estate where this is a relationship based. I'm using a relationship based model in real estate. So to get clients, I am not cold calling for sale by owners. I am not calling expired listings. I am not, just not, I'm not pounding the pavement in that way. The way I'm doing
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Right.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:for real estate is I am offering information. I'm living out loud on social media. I'm sending the newsletters. I'm doing things to market And be involved in my community and make sure just not to be a secret agent. through that relationships are developing. And then people turn to me when they have a need. So that's how I'm marketing that business. So I feel like on the coaching side of my business, that's kind of what I want to do too. It's almost like here, like you and I are doing this podcast. We're offering a piece of our heart and mind every week to our listeners. And at
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:if, when we offer. For people to have individual coaching with us. I think that they'll come to us because they want more of what we've already given them. Not
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:cold calling or like pursuing in a sales way. It's going to be, Oh, I think like I love listening to that podcast every week. I want that person's undivided attention and feedback on my personal goals. And what I'm trying to achieve. So I mean, all that to say, I feel like mentorship and coaching has just collided. I do think there is, there can be mentorship without paid coaching. And I think that really, as I'm thinking
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yes.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:this was part of the motivation for the InspireHER Collective and the model that we've used. So we're not asking members of the InspireHER Collective group to pay anything. At this time to be a part of this group,
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:At
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:because we don't want to gatekeep. We want to just connect you
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:disclosure. We are, we are asking the leaders of the group are buying basically our kind of franchise, our branding,
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Our formula.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:our formula. We've made it very easy for somebody to start this group. And I think that it will have a lot of value to that leader and it will have value to the other people. But the leader gets to be the person, you know, the person that's doing it, the person that's bringing it. They get to, you get to stand out as like, Oh, this, this person brought this to me, to all the members of the group in the
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Right.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Anyhow, I digress.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:I think. No, well, one of the things I was thinking about, so in, cause I was in construction previous to real estate and in the construction world, there's a lot, and especially in the real estate investing construction flips and things like that, there are a lot of coaches. And when I do my building wealth through real estate course, I get asked this a lot. Like, what do you think about. These coaches and a lot of them will require you to make like a 25, 000 investment, and then you get their systems and processes and you get, you know, a certain amount of things, whatever. And sometimes I think it's a value and sometimes it feels really scammy. So I think when you're looking for. Mentorship, or you're looking for coaching. I think one of the things that I've really learned and I'm trying to apply in my own life is what are you trying to achieve and what do you want to know? And what do you want to do with that knowledge? Like sometimes with my coach that I have right now, I. I also just need another person to like talk to, like to run things by that's completely objective about stuff who has experience, not necessarily in real estate, but like in business. And there is value in that. And there is value in systems and processes. And there's, so I think it's just, what are your, what's your intention when you're looking for a coach or what's your intention when you're looking for a mentor and are you willing to, you know, Make that financial investment. And then are you going to utilize everything that that person is offering? I think that's a really big self reflection question that you have to ask yourself is like, are you making this investment? Are you going to be able to really implement the things that are being given to you? Are you setting aside the time to do that? Are you fully invested as far as time wise to do the things that you're paying for? Because then if you're not, then it does feel scammy, right? Like that's the thing that I tell people is like one research, whoever you're going to work with. And then two, Know that that's an investment and you're going to get whatever you put into it as well. So I think that that's something important to think about when looking for a mentor, but I also really find that there can be mentorship in so many places, right? Like it doesn't have to be a formal setting. And I think one of the things that I find in business and in just lots of places is like mentorship can be like just having a conversation with somebody or just Like observing how somebody is. And, you know, I think about like mentors that I had in real estate and a lot of it is like me asking them questions, me observing me having a relationship with them and really trying to understand. How they got to where they are and also like what they're doing, but it is a very organic situation. So I, I do want people to realize that mentorship doesn't have to be very formalized. Like it can be I don't, I don't know, organics, the other word, the only word I can think of, right. It doesn't have to be so formulaic. It doesn't have to be that person might not even realize that they're your quote unquote mentor, but you are getting mentorship from them in some way. And the last thing I will say about that is I don't want anybody to take this in that like, you're not giving, you're just taking, taking, taking from that person. Like you have to give, you have to like have real relationships. You have to have, you know, like it shouldn't feel like you're just calling that person up asking questions, wasting their time and not giving anything back to them. But I think there's mentorship in a lot of different ways in different places and it doesn't always have to be paid. Yeah, that's true.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:is, so I think the difference, one key difference between true mentorship and coaching, coaching has the accountability aspect to it. Or mentorship probably doesn't necessarily have that. So the coaching, like you're paying someone to meet with you every, however many, however often that you've set up. And, and I I'm seeing that in this coaching I'm doing in my office too, is. It is really beneficial to these people to have an hour on my calendar every week, because they know they're going to come in and have focused work for an hour to be able to get through something that I can help them with. So that, I guess, is one key difference between mentorship and coaching would be the accountability. So you also touched on something else that I wanted to talk about, which is, um, When you're finding a mentor, there's a handful of steps that you should consider. One being identifying your needs. So understand what areas you are looking for guidance in. So are you
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:financial mentor? Are you looking for a, I want to grow my real estate business. Are you looking for, you know, a parenting mentor? You know, what is it
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:what that need is. And then where to look for mentors is the other thing. So there's. you said, it's not always a formal situation. It's not always a coach. You don't need to necessarily go seek out a coach. If you need a mentor is there somebody in your office? Is there somebody at networking events? Is there someone you keep rubbing elbows with that is motivating you? Is there someone on Instagram or LinkedIn that you're just keep seeing and you're like, Oh, that would be, that's fantastic. And then after you identify that person, you're Then you need to make the approach. So like, how are you going to
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:person? So, know, like you said, it needs to be a relationship to, to not to
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yes.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:unpaid mentor. If you want one specific person to be your mentor, yeah, you need to develop a relationship with that person. And the relationship should not be one sided as you addressed. It should be as the mentee, you are probably adding to that mentor's life as well. undoubtedly have skills that somebody else doesn't know about, and the mentor, while yes, they have the skill and they've achieved the thing that you're looking to achieve, or you want to get better at, you still are going to bring something to that relationship, and you need to be prepared for that as well. That you need to bring value as well as taking the value. When you're approaching these people, you You know, approach them with like genuine interest in what they're doing and maybe some flattery, you know, compliment them, tell them why it is that they are the person that you feel like would be a great mentor. Like that's going to fill that person's bucket in a huge way if you do that and, and probably make it a successful ask. The other thing you talked about is With the finding mentors in a lot of different places, what I keep thinking about is like our compass mom collective group. We meet every
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:hmm.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:with it's a group of 30 women and there's, we are a collective. There's not like 1 clear. There's not a boss. There's not like, not 1 person is leading every meeting. each take turns leading the meetings, and it's much like the InspireHER Collective, like not one person is leading every meeting. It's a, it's a collective. We are doing it together, and there's something to learn from every person in that group, in both of those groups. I've learned a lot. In both
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Right. Oh my god.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:being in a
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:So much.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:with women that are not women, men, whatever, just being in a space with people. heard someone say the comment about, I never want to be the smartest person in the room. And I, it like that lit my soul on fire. I don't want to be the smartest person in the room. I want to be surrounded by other really smart people because then I can learn and grow with them. And while maybe somebody looks at me and says, she's really smart. She might be the smartest person in the room. Maybe over here in this segment that I'm an expert in, but I promise you, I have something to learn from you somewhere else.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah, I think also one of the things I do, and I don't know if everybody does this, but it's been really helpful to me in any field that I've been in is like, if you give yourself the mentality of being a mentee, like somebody who is there to learn somebody who is there to like absorb, you can be mentored in any environment. And that is exactly what happens in, in our CMC group. It's exactly what happens anytime that I go to meet anybody or like, I, you know, They might not even know, but I am soaking up information and experience and like knowledge from every single person that I meet good, bad, or indifferent. Right. And I'm learning and, and, and really being a sponge, really being a mentee, if you will, like, In every situation that I'm in and then taking that information and figuring out how to apply it and what I should be doing. It's constantly learning. So this is where I take the idea of like, you don't have, it is amazing. And I have a coach, right? Like I'll say this again, and we, we are planning on coaching. Like that is a big part of our plan. We would love to help people with that. But if that's not something that you have the resources for or the time for, or the commitment for right now. You can, you can have mentors and you can have people in your space that you are learning from constantly. Constantly learning and absorbing and, and taking that kind of mentor information from people all over the place and kind of collectively pulling it together to make you your own knowledge base based on that. I mean, that's something that I do everywhere I go. In every situation, like it's just such a. I don't know if everybody does that. It's just always what I've done, but you just learn from everybody. Like I, there was an agent here. It was a compass agent and she is a solo agent. I've talked, I think I've talked to her. Her name is Janelle Salazar. She's really awesome. She's kind of like a lone wolf kind of lady. Like she's not really, she just kind of does her own thing, but I've been able to kind of like create a relationship with her and she saw how much I was doing and how much hustle and work I was putting out there. So she gives me these nuggets all the time. And I observe from her all the time. Like I'll go to a broker's open and just. Talk to her and she gives me knowledge and she get in, she'll offer up things because I'm willing to ask her questions or engage with her, have conversations with her. And I think that that is, you know, and then I bring clients to her listings or she brings clients, you know, so we have a reciprocal relationship, but to be able to like learn and absorb and understand how to get. different situations is really important if you're just constantly in the mentality of being a mentee, I suppose.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Well, and I think that like, we've talked about this reciprocal relationship a couple of times there, but I bet in this instance with this particular person, while you are like, give me all your longevity, all your knowledge about like how you got to where you are. I bet she's probably watching your Instagram being like, damn, Colleen's good at that. I can learn something from Colleen there. And you probably will teach her.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah. And she's always like, I'm so proud of everything you're doing. And she doesn't have to say that to me, you know what I mean? Like I'm not her, I don't work under her. I don't even work at the same brokerage as her anymore. Like but you know, there is. I think it just also comes back to relationships when you're doing those things. So, but let's talk about some more formalized coaching and, and like formalized mentorships. Like what are we seeing? That's, I mean, like Susie is a very specialized coach, right? She has created, a productivity coaching.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:She's, eliminating distractions so
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:yes. Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:your, your day and your workflow. And, I was on a call the call this morning. I was on somebody gave her a plug and sent literally Susie's giving me back 1 to 2 hours of my day by just streamlining my processes.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:you know, Susie's really pushed me to work within the compass platform. you know, it may not be perfect, but it's good. And it's really good in that I can send a message. I can do my marketing. I can do everything in this one screen without having to click any of those other tabs on top and then see, Oh, I have six new unread emails. Oh, I have a text
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:She's just really to how can we eliminate your distractions and help you control your systems and processes. So you can work smarter, not harder. You can work faster and effectively. You can go on vacation and trust that the systems and the processes you have in place can be picked up by anybody on your team. You know, she's really, she's coaching heavily to that and. Super specialized and incredible and
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:I think that, I think the benefit of Susie versus maybe another coach that maybe hasn't fine tuned their process as much as Susie has to be. Like she has tangible and you and I talk about this constantly. We want tangible actual things that we can implement
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:today. I love feeling inspired by a conversation, but then I feel so frustrated when I'm like, okay, now what? Like, how do I put that into play? And I think that's the
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Right.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:benefit of how Susie's coaching is. She is giving you things that you can put into play today that are going to change your life and your business immediately. Now, like there's tangible things you can do. It's like the vision to reality webinar. You and I did series that we did. We gave people an actual handbook to fill out and start today. So. Rather than like, yes, we can have a big conversation and inspire you that you should do all of this. I think what people are looking for in coaching and to move their business forward is like, okay, but now what, what do I like? I need pen to paper. I need to start. I need action. We need action items now. And I think that is the big difference. And it's one of our pillars. of our business and everything that you and I are doing together
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Right.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:know that there needs to be action items and tangible things that come from a conversation. you feel inspired and then lost.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah. Well, and I think that that's like, you know, not to like toot our own toots, but that's why we're such a good pair is that like, we're both very inspirational and like, we love that part of, of like kind of hyping people up and getting people to understand that they're, they're worth more, have more value or whatever it is, right. Or can do things that maybe people don't think they can do. But then we have, like, that's something that I'm really good at. And. You know, and you're good at that too, but you're also very good at putting those things into processes. And, you know, it's like, it's just a nice when we talked about like our vision to reality, a workshop, right? Like the vision thing is something that I'm really good at, that I'm really good at putting out there. I'm really, you know, like doing, and then after that we were able to put like, okay, now that we've got the vision, here are these like functional steps that we can do. So, I mean, I love that. I think that maybe is the differentiation between like a mentor and a coach, like a coach is going to typically gives you more structure and a mentor is just kind of somebody who's there to like answer maybe some questions you have or guide you, you know, like, or kind of show you what they have done, but I don't know. I think people use those.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:coach.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah. Not so tangible. And I think people use those terms in our interchangeably, but I don't know that they're really interchangeable. Like they don't mean the same thing.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Right. I'm feeling, as we talk about this more and more, more differences between mentorship and coaching
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:similarities.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah. For sure.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:So if you want to become a mentor So some things to consider. So recognize if you're ready, like do some self reflection. Do I have the time? Do I have the energy? Do I have the capacity? Am I ready to put myself out there as a mentor? Because like right now we're talking, we've talked mostly about being a mentee so far, but I'm sure there's listeners and you and I are ready to be a mentor to people as well. So, but are you ready? Do you have the experience, the time and the willingness? Yes. To put into it would take to commit to a formal mentorship.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:And a way to communicate it. Right. Like I think in a way to like, to, to mentor, right. Like a process, if you will, like I'm thinking about, I just brought on a new agent to my team. Right. And while I have all this information and all this knowledge to her, I have had to really sit down and say like, how do I communicate that to her? How do I teach that to her? Because it's very easy for me to just say like, we'll just do what I do, you know, just. Just be me. It's great. Everything will be great if you're just me, right? But she's not me. So how do I make this? How do you as a mentor? Make it Consumable make what you do consumable
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Right.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:other people because nobody's gonna be just like you.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Right. So benefits of being a mentor. So the personal and professional growth that comes from being a mentor, like we've kind of talked about this. It's it's not one sided. And then also you'll be developing leadership skills. You'll have an expanded network. You'll probably have great personal satisfaction if you become a mentor. So just those are some benefits of it. To be an effective mentor, I think you need to be a very effective listener and,
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:You
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Be able to provide constructive feedback in a way that can be heard and hopefully if you're mentoring someone, the mentee is there and ready to listen. I guess. Don't become a mentor to someone that you decided you want to be a mentor for without discussing it and making sure they're open to being your mentee.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:don't want to like we don't even want you like talking about.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Um, for this to be really effective and for anything in life to be effective, I think you need to set appropriate expectations.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:What are those, what can your mentee expect from you? What kind of boundaries are you going to
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Mm
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:What kind of goals, I think establishing goals, like what is it you're hoping to achieve? If you're going to put it to place like, okay, so somebody in my office wants a mentor, I'm ready to be the mentor. Okay, well let's define that relationship. In the same that we, Now define our relationship with our buyers. This is what I cost. If this is going to be a paid situation or unpaid is great too. This is the
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:hmm.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:I'm willing to give you. These are the hours that I work. This is what I'm available to you. This is the scope
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:I think. and prepared to mentor you on.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Well, and I think those things are really important for the success of the relationship because I think what can happen as a mentor is it can feel like either you're giving so much or you're giving too much or you're feeling exhausted or like exasperated by how much you're giving. And maybe the person is not, maybe the person can't handle all of that. Right. Or like, maybe you're giving too much or maybe if you don't have structure, it can feel like Exhausting. And if there's no expectations on what the other person is supposed to be getting, they might be like, I don't really get why I'm doing this, you know, or what, what I'm getting out of it. So the more and more I get into. Life and business. The more I'm really understanding the importance of structure and the importance of, of processes and the importance of clear boundaries in life and in business, right? So that you're really setting yourself up and setting your mentee or whomever or your client, whomever it is, you're setting each other up for success. And, and real clear, you know, not everything's clear, but. Pretty clear expectations of what is going to be delivered and what's going to, what that person's going to receive. I mean, I think that that's important to set into place before you're just like, yeah, man, like, come learn from me. I know all the things, you know?
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Okay. And how, what are some tips we could give people to be a good mentee?
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Oh ask questions, be prepared. Um,
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Don't show up to an hour meeting that this person has set aside from you with nothing prepared.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah. Like
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:won't last long.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:be prepared, understand what you want to get out of the coach and be very clear and, and be very honest about that. Like, here are my expectations. Like, is that, you know, when you're, before you create the relationship, here are my expectations. Here's what I would like to get out of this relationship. Is that something that you provide? Right. I think you have to be. A listener, you have to listen. And it doesn't mean you're going to always agree with whatever that coach or person says, but I think listen, decide whether that information is important to you. I think the other thing to be a good mentee is like really interview people before you commit. I think that that is like. The biggest thing I would say is like really find the right fit, find the right person for you. So that you don't feel resentful of the relationship. You don't feel resentful of the money that you're paying for it. So you don't feel like you're not getting your money's worth. But then be willing to do the work when you do commit to that person.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Yeah. I think that that's a really good point is if you are doing the work. It's if you continue to do the same thing you've always done, you're going to continue to have the same results that you've always gotten. So if you are entering into a relationship like this because you want some sort of change, need to be ready to do something different and be open minded. The way you've always done it may not be the best way to do it. There may
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yes.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:options.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:And I think that's one of the things that's really challenging is for coaches is like people will sign up for coaching because they think they, it may be in their, maybe like mentally, this is what they want. Right. But like, they're not ready to implement these things or they're not mentally, they're not in a mindset where they're ready to make change and implement these things. And what a waste of time for both people.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Yeah. For
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Like,
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:money, energy, effort on everybody's
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:yeah. And I think as, if you're going back to like what it is to be a mentor, like be very clear on who your client is. Like. Like a coach, right? Like be very clear on who's your client. Who's your ideal client. What do they do? Who are they? What part, what like place are they in life? What place are they in their business? Like, because I think that's, that's what makes the successful relationship, right, is when you get a good match, like it doesn't have to be the same person doesn't have to be a cookie cutter person, but they have to have the same goals and they have to have the same, like, Drive, I suppose, like that matches yours. Otherwise, I mean, I know like I've even my coach, she has a, a couple of different levels. That people can pay for. And it's the harder quote unquote, harder clients. And I'm not speaking for her. She's, she's lovely and she loves all our clients, but you know, you can tell like the people that are harder or the people that are not all in, right. They're there because it's a lower price point. They're just going to try it out. They're just going to see, but they're not all in that's harder always. Right. Because. They're not getting full value because they're not paying full value. Right? Like, so it's, it's an interesting place to think about also when you're, when you are a coach, like thinking about your price point, thinking about the programs that you're setting up and like, who do you really want to be? Who do you want to work with? And if you're spending all this time and energy and effort in it, because coaching can be very. It's draining. Like it's like takes a lot of energy to coach somebody. And I've done that even like coaching sports or coaching kids or coaching, whatever parenting. So it's gotta be worth your time too. That's gotta be worth whatever you're, whatever you're giving has to be equitable for what they're receiving and what they're paying.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:right. And if that mentor is going to kind of put their name on you, you know, if I were the mentor and I was going to put my name on someone like this was my prodigy child, this was my, you know, I, I, poured myself into them. I want results because I'm a results person. So
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:that I'm committing my time and effort to, I would really hope that they would commit their time and effort back so that we could get the best results. So that it's something we can both be proud of when we get to the other side. Okay.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah, and be clear,
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:in your life that Stands out to you.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:I mean, no, I
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:I can cut this.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:mean, no. Like, I think that's something that I, as a kid and as an into my adulthood, like was always looking for. And I think that's why, you know, I, I did a lot of sports growing up and then I worked in athletics for a long time because I was always looking for a mentor or group or something like that to, to be a part of I mean, I, I think again, my, I, there wasn't one person, but I feel like I grasp a lot from many people. So I think that's. More how I approach things. And now I have my business coach and now I also, Susie also coaches me. And you know, like I look to you, I look to a lot of women in our group, in our CMC group, I look to other women in the industry, it's predominantly women. And I kind of glean from that, but I don't know that I have, like, I don't know that I can identify like one person from, for me.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Right. I, I feel similarly in that I have a collective, for lack of a better word, it's I'm beating it into the ground, but I have a collective of people that have impacted me and I get to steal little snippets from them throughout the day, not steal. I mean, like I said, it's reciprocal. I hope these
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Absorb. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:at. And I, I do think that I try to walk through the world like a sponge. you were saying, like, what can I get? What can I take from you? What can I take from you? Like, I keep thinking of my girlfriend, Sierra, who is also a mom of three. very smart business person. And I watch her be a mom and. And listen to her insights. And I talk openly with her about my challenges and she talks openly about her challenges, but then she has, you know, a reframe, a flip on a different thing that I don't necessarily, I didn't necessarily think of then she's also, she's in my inspire her group as well. And, you know, listen to her talk in there. We have such different skill sets and different experiences that, so valuable when I can, she was my friend before she was in Inspire Her and I just, so we didn't really get an opportunity as friends to, and this is Bonnie too, who Bonnie sat in and co hosted on one episode for you. We've been friends for years, but we're friends and we haven't worked together. And then both these girls came into
the InspireHER group. And
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:then And it is an hour twice a month where we get to talk business and job and career. And that's such a different side of the relationship that now I'm getting to benefit so much from like their experience and their expertise and their background. you know, I'm finding mentorship. Everybody that I've coached in my office so far, while I'm bringing all this expertise on the technology and the system and the process and my checklist and all of the things, they're bringing expertise in other areas that I'm getting to absorb. so I think that if you are open and you walk through the world like a sponge, you would have the opportunity to be mentored at every corner.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Every tour. And I will, I will add to that when you see the things very clearly that you don't want to do, there's mentorship in that as well. Like there, there's definitely a lot to be gained and I, you know. I will look at, at people in situations and see the good in them. And then also see like, wow, okay, that is really hard for them. The way they've set that up, the way they've set up their business. That's not the life that I want to have. So what can I learn from what they have done and how can I do that differently? Or what should I. You know, talk to them too and be like, you know, is there something you wish you would have done differently? Or is there something that you did to, to like, how did you set up your business or how did you set up your life or whatever it is? Right. I think there's ways to learn from and ways to get mentorship from every situation. It doesn't always have to be the ideal scene. Like Have learned a lot from relationships and marriages and businesses and all of it combined very clearly the example set where I'm like, Oh, wow, that's not what I want for me. And that's not what I want for my family. So how do I prevent, how do I stop that from happening? Because I could see myself going down that path. I can see myself very clearly in that person and how to, how they got there, but I don't want that for me. So. I mean, I think it's just constantly taking in information experiences and then like figuring out how to use that to your benefit. I mean, the same way of like reframing, right? Like to use it to your benefit. How do you observe a situation and take something from every single interaction that you have and then make it so that you can, you know, build your best life, right? For lack of a better term, how do we get that information? And, and. And put it into action so that you are doing what they're doing or not doing what they're doing. I think there's so much to learn on, on both sides.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:I think that as much as the good that we see is, and this is just to like further illustrate your point, the good that we see is such a motivational and aspirational thing, but discomfort, failure, negativity is even a bigger lesson oftentimes.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Oh my gosh. Yes.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:of just like what you're
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Oh my gosh.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:being just uncomfortable watching a scenario, such a powerful tool for change in your own life being, I mean, being uncomfortable in your own life, like having that failure, which I don't really subscribe to failure. I subscribe to lessons, is exactly what, you know, exactly what I'm saying. Like, this did not go to plan. What lesson did I learn here so that I can now turn and shape my life for the way that I want it.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah. And I don't, I don't.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:for change.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah. And I don't think it needs to be a fear based thing. Like I'm afraid my life is going to be like that. It doesn't have to be out of fear. But it can be out of just sheer observation and sheer like, uh, Ooh, okay. Like I can, I, I am observing what's happening here. That's not an ideal scene for me. How do I make sure, how do I adjust my path or just my life or just the things that I'm doing so that I can. Go in a slightly different direction. What can I learn from what they've done? Like, I think so much of this mentorship mentee is learning from somebody else's mistakes and learning from somebody else's processes so that you don't have to experience those things. As well. I think that's what a lot of coaches and what a lot of mentors are offering is, right. That I've been through this, here's what I did to make it successful, or here's how I adjusted when it was not successful. And here are all the ways that you can do that. So I think that that's really key either in when becoming a mentor or becoming a mentee is like understanding that there's, So much to learn in both the positive and the negative. Yeah.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:This, this part of the conversation is reminding me of our episode with Sarah Armstrong and the vibrations and like moving, moving yourself towards the vibrations you want. But part of moving yourself towards the vibration you want is moving away from the vibration you don't want. So, I mean, it's
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:And we always talk about this, like curating your life, curating what you consume, curating, like, you know, people might say that you're living in an echo chamber, but like, I don't care.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:I love my echo chamber.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:care.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:Yeah.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:it was interesting. Like to go traveling, right. And being with family and being with all the things that come with being with family, the good and the bad. And then to come back to what I was like, Oh, I come back to my bubble, you know, like where I am responsible and in charge of the emotions and the feelings and the things that are happening here. And the life that I've created here very intentionally. And I think. The goal always is to be able to like have that to be such a strong foundation that you can then go out into the world and not get shook. But that takes a bit, you know, like that can take a bit to get that kind of sorted, but I think the more you curate your life and I love that term. Because I think, you know, when we had our construction business, our, our tagline, our slogan was like, build your best life because that's what we were trying to do for people, you know, but I love that idea of like curating or building the life that you want and the life that you should have and, and finding the people in there who are going to help you get there. And I firmly believe in coaches and I firmly believe in mentors and I firmly believe in learning from every situation so that you can get to whatever that goal is and that goal is. Not, um, stagnant. Like that's all ever evolving as well. So that's my thing.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:I love it. Well, thank you for being my mentor and my mentee.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Yeah. Thanks for being my mentor and my mentee also.
cheryl_1_07-17-2024_092626:You the best. all right, you guys. Well, thank you so much for being here today. We hope you took something insightful from this and we'll see you next week. Keep doing it right.
colleen_1_07-17-2024_122627:Bye.
