We’re Doing this Right. Right?
“We Are Doing This Right. Right?” is your go-to podcast for humor-infused discussions that empower women to lead, succeed, and grow. Join us as we explore the smart side of life, business, and friendship, all while navigating the balancing act of parenting and work life. Get ready to laugh, learn, and find your path to success with a community that's cheering you on every step of the way.
We’re Doing this Right. Right?
Resilience and Grit: Bouncing Back Stronger
Text us! We know you feel like part of the conversation! We want to hear your input!
In today's conversation, Cheryl and Colleen discuss the importance of resilience and grit in personal and professional life.
Dive into their candid discussion about overcoming challenges, staying committed to long-term goals, and finding balance between hustle and self-care.
***Main Topics:***
**Personal Struggles and Triumphs**
Both hosts share their personal experiences with resilience, from parenting challenges to professional setbacks and successes.
**Balancing Hustle and Self-Care**
The importance of setting boundaries to maintain mental, emotional, and physical health while pursuing ambitious goals.
**Support Systems**
The critical role of surrounding yourself with supportive people and sharing both burdens and victories with them.
**Celebrating Small Wins**
The significance of acknowledging and celebrating progress, no matter how small, to stay motivated.
***Key Takeaways:***
1. **Resilience is Key**
Successful people often face as many challenges as anyone else but succeed by figuring out how to bounce back.
2. **Support Systems Matter**
Having a network of supportive friends or mentors can be crucial in overcoming tough times.
3. **Celebrate Small Wins**
Recognizing and celebrating small achievements can help maintain motivation and enthusiasm.
4. **Balance is Crucial**
It's important to balance hard work with rest and self-care to avoid burnout.
5. **Learn and Adapt**
Observing and learning from both failures and successes, whether they are your own or those of others, is vital for growth.
***Links & Resources:***
TED Talk on Grit: Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance | Angela Lee Duckworth | TED
The Power of One More by Ed Mylett
*** Connect with Us ***
**Instagram** @cheryl.theslorealtor & @colleenhungerford
For any questions or to share your thoughts, feel free to reach out to us on social media.
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!
See you in the next episode!
part of what I think makes me successful in every endeavor that I do is I can also see somebody else's tent flying away with no sandbags and go, shit, we better get some sandbags because I don't want to be that person.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:from other people's mistakes.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:other people's mistakes and people's successes. And I think one of the things that that grittiness that part of that grittiness of having your own business is observing and really learning every single week, every single place, every single time, every single thing that you do, every single transaction that we do, we learn something right? Every single day. that I have with other people. I learned something
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Welcome back because we're doing it right.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:doing it
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:And hi,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Hi. I'm so good. I've got this like super professional setup today. I've gone back to my you guys, Cheryl said, get this microphone. So we stopped.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:sounded like shit the other day, so I was like, Colleen,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:trash.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:please get it together. Don't touch it. Don't touch it. Don't do that. Yeah.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:I've got my lapel microphone and we're doing it. Oh, shit. Don't touch it. Okay. Not doing that right. Learning curve. So anyway, good. I I'm doing good. We're going to talk about something that I have a lot of, passion about, a lot of thoughts about, and I'm really excited to chat with you about it. But how are you doing?
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:My middle child's still trying to kill me through behavior and tantrums. So I have we have therapy scheduled next week. I, today I just had to say, enough is enough. I cannot do this another day. So, here we go. We're gonna lean in and find a resource to help us fix it. So I've got weekly appointments starting next week, and
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Okay.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:we'll see.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:She just gets dysregulated and cannot get through it. And then after enough time, I get dysregulated too. And then
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Sure.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:family experience and I just can't anymore. So I'm going to find some help. Yeah. We were all in tears on the way to school this morning in case anybody's wondering.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:I
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:And I like very much that the intention of like, I'm not going to rush these people like the expense of yelling at them. I've already decided that it's fine with me if we're going to be late for school. It's fucking school. They're in elementary. It doesn't matter.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Literally.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:It is what it is. So I'm like, okay, that's fine. But, and then it like turns to like, well, she just doesn't want to go to school at all. And she just doesn't want, you know, she doesn't want to go to the afterschool help that I have set up. And so then it's just everything's just no, like she just digs in and everything's no. And I called a girlfriend on the way home and she's like, I think the need here is like one on one attention from you because it's usually centered around separating from me
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Okay.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:not being with me that she becomes so dysregulated. And so then I'm just like, well, when the fuck am I supposed to do that? Because
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:have any fucking time. And I have three kids. I'm sorry, but you don't, I'm sorry, but you. It's hard to get away with just one of you is in the other two feel abandoned and left out. So I do think I worked out a plan on Mondays to give her a little one on one time that might work. And then we're going to have therapy every week. So maybe that will be helpful,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah. I had a friend, a client who had three kids and she, they were twins and an older daughter and she was very, very intentional about doing something with each one of them every week and the twins she did the same thing with. Right. It was a boy, it was boy, girl,
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:but separately. Yeah.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:separately, but guess what? was a stay at home mom.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Right. That's the thing is like, when the fuck am I supposed to fit this into my schedule?
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:really not sure, but also okay, it's the most important thing. So. We're going to just have to pivot and make it work and I will, and holy shit,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:No shit. Yeah, I get
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:she's just killing me smalls. So this is that my older child is trying to fix me. She's like, mom, it's okay. Let me be nice to mom,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Oh,
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:and then I'm like, well, now I'm breaking you also like mommy's allowed to cry and mommy's allowed to feel sad. This is allowed to be hard. I still wouldn't trade a single one of you for anything in the world, but my God, this is so frustrating.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah. Well, I
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Thanks for coming to therapy today, you guys.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:and I think the thing that we're doing differently as parents than previous generations is We're allowing our kids to see that we're allowing our kids to see that This is hard, and that we can get through the hard things together. Right? That we're not pretending like everything's okay, or we're not pretending like you're a superhero or whatever. So,
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Right.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:so, yeah, that's a lot. But I think it also has a lot to do with part of what we're going to talk about today.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Hmm.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Our official topic, our official what are we calling this topic today is overcoming challenges and resilience, bouncing back stronger. And I kind of liked this topic of bouncing back because we hear this idea about, especially with moms and with women bouncing your body back or like having this having to do with something like physical. But I think. What we really need to talk about is the bounce back that happens like mentally and emotionally and just mentally and emotionally and physically, I suppose, in business when it's hard and it's and hard in so many different ways. Right? It's hard because of things going on at home. It's hard because of things going on within business. It's hard because of. Relationships and in those components in entrepreneurship and those components in business owning, or even just an executive or like, I don't know, just a person also
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Hmm. Yeah.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:I think 1 of the things that. You really see sets successful entrepreneurs or six successful executives or business people apart is this idea of resilience and grit and bouncing back and when the when things get hard. It's not that things never get hard for, for these people. It's that when they get hard, they figure out, okay, how to, how do we come back from that? And I
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Mm hmm.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:it's a conversation that's ongoing that needs to be continually had. We've, we've touched on this a bunch of times. And so many of our podcasts, we talk about resilience all the time. We talk about like grittiness or hustle. Even beforehand, we were talking about like, I was talking to you and I was like, hustle, but you know, not, not hustle. I know we're not hustling anymore. And you were like, it's okay to hustle still.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Yeah.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:part of
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:okay to hustle. Not at the expense of your health, your physical, mental, emotional health, but okay, so I have a designated six hours today without kids to focus on my business and I'm going to hustle like a motherfucker and that's six hours and then I'm going to put it down and I'm going to set a boundary and I'm going to be present with my kids. At least that's what I'm telling myself that I'm going to do today. yes, I mean, to be a successful entrepreneur, leader, executive, a successful person, if you're driven, there's going to be hustling. That is, that is part of it, but it's not hustling from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed. It is, I think, important to compartmentalize our lives into and, and that's, I mean, you and I both have a job that's. Around the clock, really? And so it is very hard to I cannot have necessarily completely distinct windows of time where I'm only going to think about real estate and I'm only going to think about my family.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:right?
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:not realistic, but what I can do is set some windows of time where I'm going to put my phone on, do not disturb when I'm with my family, or I'm going to, to the best of my ability, stop thinking about my children while I'm in this, uh, time where I know that they're well cared for, they're safe and they're doing what they should be doing at their age. And now I'm going to focus like as much of my possible attention on work, like as best you can finding the areas to separate those two things,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah. And I think,
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:really focusing the hustle in that like time that is for work. You know, and then outside of that triage and like handle what needs to happen. Is Sir Charles Barkley here or did you drop something?
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Charles going absolutely fucking nuts in front of me. Hold on. Let me just throw something at him. Not anything hard, people. Don't worry. He decided to just wail on the rug. Okay, he's gone. Goodbye. Sorry, guys. This is bouncing back from dog interruption.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Yeah.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Puppy training was a poor choice on my part, but here we go.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Oh,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:I
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:that's a story for another time, but I'm so excited. Are you going to reframe that failure around the puppy training to learn a valuable lesson?
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:puppy training's fine. The puppy part, I should have
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Oh, the puppy.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Guns as far as like getting a puppy getting a standby people getting a dog not a puppy
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Okay. Well, I disagree completely. I'm so happy I have Mater I love him so much. So I made the right choice. I'm sorry that you didn't.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Well, I love him. I just don't know that I have the capacity nor the tolerance. I'm doing fine. He's fine. It's just, this is a really big tangent, but it's like we got this puppy, we all agreed to get the puppy and then I signed us up for puppy training, which is fine. I wanted to send Charlie to the trainer,
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Boarding school.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:to boarding school. I wanted to send Charlie to boarding school because that was an option. David was like, no, why would we do that? We can just have the trainer come to the house and meet with us once a week. And I'm like, that's great. But who's doing all the training during the day? Who's home during the day from home. So now here we are with the dog being loud in my podcast. That's,
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Moral of the story,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:of the story.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:boarding school.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:we should have sent him to boarding school. But anyway, he's great. He's adorable. I love him. But, also, get a life away from here.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Okay. So I did touch on one of the things I wanted to say about like bouncing back and resilience is I want to call out the idea that successful entrepreneurs, they don't not fail. They do fail, but what they do is, and I've said this a million times, I don't subscribe to failure. Like everything is an opportunity to learn. It's an opportunity to pivot. It's an opportunity. So reframing any sort of failure that you bump into or any kind of conflict or any friction, if you will, and finding a way to reframe that into like, wow, what a valuable lesson I've learned or what a great opportunity that presented for me. I think that's so important.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah, I saw this one TED talk where she talks about grit. Have you heard of, have you seen the TED talk about
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:I think I have, but remind me
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Basically, it's this woman and, I don't know, well, this is like me just talking off the cuff here. No planning, but I was just, you know. Thinking about this. and so we'll put it in the show notes. We'll figure out what the real are. Anyway, it's this woman who's talking about success and she's talking about entrepreneurship and she's talking about success and how we measure success and what are the things that, that an entrepreneur or a business person has to have, ultimately it comes down to the number one thing that that person has to have is grit in order to be successful. That person has to have grit. So I pulled a Cheryl on this one. And I went to chat GPT, and I asked chat GPT, because obviously grit has many definitions, right? Like, I didn't ask them, what, what is the definition of grit? I asked chat GPT, I said, give me your best definition of grit when it comes to someone having grit. And I liked what they said here. liked what our robot said. It said grit refers to a person's unwavering determination, perseverance, and resilience in the face of challenges, the ability to stay committed to long term goals, even when things get tough or progress is slow, which is such a big deal, because I think I am somebody who wants it. All to
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:right now.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:right now, right now. Like I want to be wildly successful and wildly rich and wildly funny and beautiful and and funny. And have all these businesses that are like doing a billion dollars a year right now. I want to have it right now.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Right.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:slow, it, it feels torturous. And it feels
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Right.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:about this with, with lady a little bit the other day when you see other people's success and it's not a. There is some comparison, right? There is some comparison when you see somebody else's success. And I don't begrudge anybody their success ever, but I'm always kind of like, ah, when can I get there? want to be there. That's where I want to be. but I have to constantly remind myself, like this person's been doing it for 15 years and you haven't, right.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Mm hmm.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Building a business in the short amount of time that I have is pretty incredible and I will get to the places that I want to be, but it might not be right now. And I think that that is, well, it's something that we deal with every single day. It's something that takes. It takes grit. It takes determination. It takes like being able to like get up every day and do the same thing, even though you're not, always getting the results every day. I think that's, what's tricky about sales jobs or, or tricky about businesses like real estate or when you're building a business, like my best friend Shelby is building she's two years into her aesthetics business and we often have those conversations about why don't I have more clients or why don't I have more people or why don't I have more patients or whatever? And it's you just started, like always just
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:and you can look at her, you can look at her and say that, but then when you look at yourself, it's a lot harder to give yourself the grace and the kindness of I'm two years in for fuck's sake. Like it takes, it takes time to build an empire. so I also went to chat GPT, of course, my best friend. Uh, and one of the things that stands out to me that it said was, um, And entrepreneurs or success, successful people continue to push even when the initial enthusiasm fades
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Hmm.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:and, and it's so striking to me because let's look back at our CliftonStrengths and the consistency and discipline is like number 34 and 33, which are the bottom for me and, and Those two things to have long term success, you, you need to do the consistent work day after day, which is, I think where Susie and systems come in, because if you can put into place something, like I'm very heavily leaning on my task list right now, I have, I'm in process of seven. Deals either in contract in escrow or preparing listings. It's a lot to juggle and having these systems in place where like I'm being reminded, like, Oh, don't forget to post the social posts over here. Don't forget to do, you know, like just dummy proofing the consistency so that you can continue to show up in your business day after day, even when the enthusiasm wears off is crucial. And thank God we live in. The time. Yes and no. I mean, I guess we have more work to do because we live in the current technology time, but also why do we have the technology to be able to put these systems into place to keep us accountable and to keep us doing what we decided we wanted to do when we had that enthusiasm? We were excited. We were like, this is how I want to run my business. Okay, now I need to put in. I think I just overheard Susie. Doing a presentation, but put in the guardrails, if you will,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:the rumble scripts to keep you on the path, even when the enthusiasm wears off.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:And when the fatigue sets in, right?
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Oh, yeah,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:that's also part of it is you're, you've lost maybe enthusiasm or maybe you're on, you know, your fifth deal at a, you know, you're like in a hard part of deal number five and there's seven going on and You know, you get into fatigue and you get into just physical tiredness, but also mental fatigue and also, know, exhaustion and emotion. If you have these, if you have those systems set up and your task list is telling you, it's, it's so much easier to go there and say, okay, let me just do these, these, these. And then at least you're continuing your that progress forward always
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:right. Well, let's talk about, let's talk about my morning. My morning totally derailed me. Like I was in tears for 30 minutes this morning.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:then you were a little behind logging in and I'm sitting here and I'm like, okay, well, if I didn't have this stuff, Task list in place. If I didn't have the system set up, I would have sat here and stared off into space because I was so brain dead from my morning, but because I have this set up, I was able to just sit here and just, okay, I can do this right now. I can do this right now. Like I've got the capacity and the time for this, this, this, and just, I worked through and I checked a whole bunch of stuff off the list. I made that 30 minutes very productive instead of letting the mental fatigue and emotional fatigue I was feeling make it so I can't function
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah. And it gives you also it gives you the time and space to also be like, okay, here's the, here's the things like you said that I can do in this time, but also that I have the mental capacity for, or I have the capacity to do right now. Sometimes that
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:right.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:that task list is like. Yeah. little, littler things that you can get done that, help you knock some of that stuff off. And I think that that is where we see entrepreneurs or where we see business owners or where we see executives fail. You know, they talk about your small business or a new business fail, typically fail within the first 5 years. Like, if you can make it past the first 5 years, then, you you're good. But I think what happens and I would make the assumption of part of what happens is they don't have these systems and processes in place. They don't have the guardrails and they don't have that support that they've even just set up for themselves by themselves. To make sure that they can get through those times or make sure we can get through those times that are Okay. Exhausting. And,
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Mm hmm.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:I remember my mom and I had a scone business really early on, started in 2009. It was started out as a way to make money for my wedding, extra money for my wedding. It did not. But it did turn into something pretty pretty big, but You know, systems and processes, especially if you're thinking about something like baking, which is very process oriented really helped our business when we were trying to, and also hurt our business when we didn't put those things in place, when we were really trying to grow, right? Like having a system of how to put the labels on the bag and how to bag the things and how to bake the cookies and how to freeze the things, whatever, because there were times when it was. You know, three o'clock in the morning and we hadn't slept and we had to be somewhere we weren't going. We knew we weren't going to sleep, but those were the systems and processes that we could rely on that would kind of get us through then also just I think some of these systems and processes come over time. Right. Like you figure them out through failure, you
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Trial and error. Yeah.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:and error. I think that that's something that, is part of grittiness, right? I think that's part of grittiness. There's very tangible thing of okay, well, we used to work farmers markets and we would set up tents. And. You know, the first time your tent starts to fly away you haven't done anything to like sand, you haven't
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Weighed it down. Yeah.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:you go and get the sandbags the next time. Right. I think part of what I think makes me successful in every endeavor that I do is I can also see somebody else's tent flying away with no sandbags and go, shit, we better get some sandbags because I don't want to be that person.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:from other people's mistakes.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:other people's mistakes and people's successes. And I think one of the things that that grittiness that part of that grittiness of having your own business is observing and really learning every single week, every single place, every single time, every single thing that you do, every single transaction that we do, we learn something right? Every single day. that I have with other people. I learned something, you know, the, there's an example, like the other day I was doing an open house and an agent who had shown the house before. really made me think about this whole topic left. She had done an analysis of all the houses in the neighborhood and in the area that are about the same size, about whatever. So she had done like a price per square foot analysis she left it the house. I kind of bought this open house last minute, and I didn't get to prep for it like I would normally do, and I didn't have that information, but I picked it up, I looked at it, I read it, I absorbed it, and then somebody asked me what the price per square foot was, and I was able to give it to them, and I was able to have those conversations, and I was able to do that, and I think there's something to those intangible aspects of Entrepreneurship and readiness and smarts and learning that really make you good at what you do, or make you a good
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Mm
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:or make you like, I don't know how to teach that to somebody else. Like, I have a new agent on my team, and then I have an agent who's my admin assistant now. Yay, look at me. who
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Can I look at you again?
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:And it's figuring out how to teach them those things, right? Like, how do you teach them to just pick something up and read it and learn from it and then be able to use that information in your next conversation? Um,
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Mm hmm.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:I don't know. And I think that that's part of the constant need and want to be good and the constant need and want to be better at what you're doing. If you're constantly learning and observing and picking things up from others, from your environment, from yourself. you go, but I don't know. I don't know if that's like an inherent thing. Is that something that you do? Do you do that? Do you?
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Oh, I'm learning. I'm watching everything. So I was, while we were talking about this, I'm thinking back to my bachelor's program. I did a double major in business and I'd say 90 percent of the courses were case studies.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Hmm.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Like just presenting stories, businesses that have either succeeded or failed walking you through what happened. And then you just learn from those.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:had the benefit of for 12 years being in commercial insurance, the business owners were my clients. Business owners from two employees to 300 employees. I had it, you know, across the gamut and I had the opportunity to sit in those rooms with them and talk to them about what was working and what wasn't working and where they were failing and where they weren't failing and take a little something from every piece of that. But I think in order to observe and. Use the observations to grow. You have to be a person who's willing to admit. I don't have all the answers
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Oh,
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:because if you go into a scenario with, well, I know how to do this and we've all seen this and maybe like some self reflections. Good. Because I'm. Certain there's areas in my life where I do this. I don't do it in business, but I'm certain I do it in some areas where, well, I know, I know how to do that. I'm like the fucking pro on this. Okay guys. But in those scenarios, my mind is closed and I'm unwilling to take the lesson from that. I know you guys have all seen it with people around your life, but I'm just. Also take a hard look in the mirror and see, is there anywhere where you're doing that and you're blocking your ability to learn and grow?
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah. I, think that absolutely Charlie is barking. What a
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Charles.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:what a rude
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Charles.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:But then also, yes, that right? Like where are you blocking yourself from learning something? Where are you? Preventing yourself because you feel like, you know, I mean, I see that in my kids already, which I was like, they're like, not even a decade old. How do you know everything already? But
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Oh, my favorite thing to say. Hold on. My favorite thing to tell August is, oh gosh, I remember when I used to know everything. Oh, that was so great.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:so great.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:I don't know everything anymore. And
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah. It's like you unlearn.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:I think with wisdom, obviously in this scenario with what we're talking about with the kids, but even like a business owner, probably. We're all adolescents at one point in our business or infants in our business. And I do think that the longer people do something, the more they realize they have no idea what they're doing. In the beginning you might be like, I've got this, but, and I do think some people just have blinders on. There is probably a segment of the population that just. Won't be able to see outside of themselves to be able to learn,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah, I think
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:but I, I, I hope it's teachable. I don't know. Do you think it's teachable?
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:it's teachable, but I think there's also. The next of the application. Right? Like it's being willing to learn something and then the next level of whatever you've learned now, how do you apply that to what you're doing? I think that those are high level. I don't know. Some of that comes naturally to people and some of that doesn't right. I think it's. it's very interesting in talking to people, even like this, I'm not trying to be an asshole, I'm not trying to say that I'm the best in the world, but like, when I talk to people here about taking the real estate exam, has come up recently it's like, well, it's so hard. So complicated. So this and so that, and it's like, it is, but also like, is it? I don't
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:And it's, that's the first of like a zillion hurdles you're about to overcome in this business. That's The, the entry level hurdle, it's like the baby step that you need to step over.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:and our exam is not like your exam, the way, just
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Oh, really? As far as hard?
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:yours is, ours is not hard. And but I guess the point is, like, it's a lot of, like, oh, my God, and there's a lot of studying and there's a lot of this and there's a lot of that and, like, I think about when I studied for my exam, it was a 90 hour course. I did that 90 hour course in two weeks because I was so driven and so focused and I was still taking care of all my kids and I was still working and I was still doing whatever I was waking up at four in the morning, coming down and studying, taking my kids to school, coming back and studying, doing, The, you know, working on my, in my design business that I had at the time, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Well, and let's circle back to what we talked about in the beginning about on day one, you had a lot of enthusiasm, I'm sure. But by 10, like you no longer had that same enthusiasm, but you still had made the commitment to yourself and you kept going even when it no longer was exciting and fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the difference. I think that probably sets entrepreneurs apart from nine to five clock in clock out, build someone else's dream.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:well, and drive, and like persistence and drive. I was like, I'm just going to do this fucking thing because that's what we're going to do now. Like I was so, I was so driven to achieve this one thing so that I could do the next thing. Right. And. You know, I see people taking 8 months, 9 months, 10 months a year to take a 90 hour course and I get it. They're doing it part time and whatever. But like, listen, I don't want to be one of those people. It's like, you should just do it and just stop being weak or whatever. But I think there is some. Differentiator between entrepreneurs, people who really want to have a business, people who really want to put the, put the time in and really want to put energy and the effort and have the goals and the enthusiasm and the persistence and all of that to somebody who just wants to do it. Like those are the
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Well, I also think like you very clearly had defined your why you are doing this, this task. Like there's a zillion things we do that aren't fun to do and that none of us want to do. And yes, fine. I don't want to pick up my house. I do it because I want to live in a peaceful, organized home, you know? And I keep finding this with my girls, like when I'm trying to encourage them to do something we need to do, but no wonder they don't want to clean up the house. It's not their why they don't give a shit that you're not even seeing it. So if.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:a nice
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:You know, somebody,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah. You, you've created that for them. So They don't need to
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:They don't even know that they would need that. Why yet that that I've already defined as like having a peaceful sanctuary here is crucial to my mental and emotional wellbeing. They don't have that. Why that's mine. You knowing that I'm ready to drop this gig that I'm doing and I'm going to dive in over there. Like you were so committed to that. Why that it, it pulls you through when it's no longer fun and exciting. And so I guess. My advice would be, if there's something you want to do, get super clear on the why. Why do you want to do that? And then when it gets hard and when you no longer want to keep going, go back to your why. And if the why does no longer, if it doesn't fit anymore, you know, I'm all about quitting when it no longer serves you. But if you are still like, no, that is what I want to do, then use that as some remotivational juice to Strap on those bootstraps or whatever the saying is and keep going.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah. Pull
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Keep climbing that beanstalk, you guys. Whatever the saying is, I don't know.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:but I think you're right. Right? Like I am very intentionally building my team and very intentionally building my business because I have a very specific that I've set a time limit on and listen, if I don't achieve it in the next nine years. It's going to be fine. I'm still going to have achieved a lot, but I have, and I think that is something that's important for us that are like super high achiever goal. Goal oriented people is you have to be able to, to realize that like you're working towards the school, but if you don't get there, you haven't failed. You know, I'm putting that in air quotes for the people, right. But you've at least gotten somewhere. But like my goal is. And I've said this, part of why I want to build the team, I've got these big pillars for my team and my business, and it includes lots of different facets. And but the reason I want to do that is because by the time I turn 50, which is in 9, almost 8 years, which sounds so rude to say out loud, is when my kids go to college, if they decide to go to college, or they move away. And they want me to come and visit them. I want to be able to come and visit them no matter what. No,
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Yes.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:No, I can't. I have a meeting. No, like that is, is what I'm working for. And I still want to be present in their lives right now. Like I'm not just working for when they're gone, but I want to be able to set myself up so that when my kids. Vivian will be 19 by that point. So when she's out of the house and they need me, I can be there. No question. That's and
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Same and I think about like my when I had August and I had the postpartum depression very bad and My mom couldn't be here because she was still working
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:yeah.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:That is what that's where my why of I will not be working or if I'm working It will not be where I have to be tethered to some place because I want to support my kids when they need me the most, and as much as like they need me right now, they will need us even more.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:It's bigger problems. It's bigger pain. You know, we gotta, I want to be available just in the same way. I totally, totally feel what you're saying there.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah. And it's the, it's the thing that, when I'm like, Oh my God, I don't want to do another open house or, Oh my God, I don't want to go to another networking event. Or just did, this past week I was at events and, I felt like I was in heels and a dress for like days and days and days and days on end and like chatty chatty talky talky talking to people and I was tired. There was definitely a point where I was just like, I'm a very extroverted person. I can talk chat, but anybody, but at some point you just get tired. Right. but I did this open house on Sunday at the end of the week and I was really tired and I was like, Oh God, why do I always do this to myself? But it was a great open house. I had 15 people through, got some new potential clients. Like it was a success and it's, but it's understanding the balance of when to keep going, when to keep pushing and when to give yourself rest. So Tuesday, I did a self care day because That was important to me and I had kind of preset that up like all a Cheryl, right? I planned that ahead of time
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Charlie is very opinionated on this topic.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:he really wants to be involved. I'm going to open the door and we'll see what happens because he's so needy today. Hold on. This is
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Well, and let me explain the Allah, Allah, Cheryl, while you let him out is. You know, when you look at your calendar and you see that you have like a heavy period of time, I really encourage you to then block the time immediately after or somewhere in between and lean into the downtime. Even like yesterday, the woman I'm working with a lot more out here now she's like, I'm going to take my laptop to bed. I said, don't we're caught up for the day.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:caught up for the transactions. Like we're going to be busy for a while. And Lean into the moments that you have down so that you can recharge and show up for yourself and everybody else how you want to. So yeah, taking that spot A when you texted me yesterday and you're like, I'm at the spa. I was like, yes, bitch, as you should be.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:I just said this to somebody today to this one of the builders, one of the local builders here a woman, and I was like congratulating her because this homorama thing is still going on. Remember when you were like, how is this still happening? It's three weeks long. It's
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:It's never ending homorama.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:And I was like, well, what are you doing after this? Did you set aside some time yourself? Cause she's been there like every single day. Two and a half weeks now. she was like, no, I didn't even think about that. She's I need more women in my life to tell me these things because
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Mm hmm.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:know, owns a building, building company and with all dudes. I was like, yeah, you should take a day. take a weekend and go away and do something like, because you need to from this. And she was like, Oh my God, you're right. I was like, see, I'm always learning. I'm always taking things from everybody. I was like, so next year on your calendar the weekend after homorama so that you can go and take time. Cause this is a lot. It's a lot. But I think it's Anyway, she was very thankful for that. So I credit that to you, Cheryl.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Oh, thank you. Well, and I, I'm, I credit you for speaking up and like telling someone that, and I want to encourage everybody else to too, because think about yourself. We have blinders on when it comes to ourself so often. So this morning I was on the happier human Wednesday call and a woman was talking about how she's. Been advised to have surgery and she doesn't want the surgery. And she's come to terms with it and yada, yada. And I'm, and I reminded her about what we talked about on a previous episode where I said, she's a realtor. I said, you'd get three bids from a contractor, right? For anything. Are you going to get three bids on your body? And she was like, Oh, I'm like, you gotta do it. And we forget when it's us,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:yeah,
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:we get so busy just going through the motions in our own life, that it's very easy to forget those things that we would tell somebody else. So just be an amazing human on this earth and remind people of the hard things that they might be forgetting. I ask that of you, my friends.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:yeah. And have people who will do it for you too. I think that that is, we're talking about, know, we're talking about bouncing back and resilience and stuff like that. I think so much of that is also who you're surrounding yourself with and who in the groups that you're. intentionally putting yourself into and who are you intentionally spending your time with? I think that's very, very important to success. And I think that's very, very important to happiness and consistency is, who are the people You know, do you have somebody to call? Do you have somebody to chat with? Do you have
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Mm hmm.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:text and say fuck man, like, what am I supposed to do in this situation or,
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Right. Or just listen to me, bitch, when I'm in a hard moment.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah, absolutely. But who's also going to be like, objectively, like I totally hear you. and I get this, but also get it together, you know, or
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:So, I think,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:part of that.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:I want to make sure we cover two things as we get towards the end here. Is, one, we just did the episode about, um, Last week, it probably came out today, the healthy dopamine hits. So like finding ways, like this job is hard. This being an entrepreneur is hard. Being a human is fucking hard. So finding those healthy dopamine mean hits that you can go take that, take that hit from when things get hard. And like have almost like a toolkit list in your phone or somewhere where it's like, I can look up and be like, okay, I should do some box breathing or I should go outside and just be in the sunshine for 10 minutes. So that when you like have your toolkit ready. So when, when the moments do get hard, you can go recharge. And then the other thing, and we kind of started talking about this beginning, but like, or something you said in the beginning reminded me of this is celebrating the small wins.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Mm hmm.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:We did for our Inspire Her Collective virtual call this week, we did a finance topic and one of the things that came up was Dave Ramsey's snowball method for paying off debt, and maybe we've talked about it here too, because I feel like I've been talking about it a lot and that snowball method talks about how you take the smallest balance first. Like you don't separate your debt by
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:yeah.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:yeah, you don't separate it by, highest interest rate, whatever you just separated by, which one is the smallest, start paying minimum payments on everything, but that smallest one and throw everything extra. You have it that small one, because you're going to accomplish that. Quickly by doing it that way. And then you get to celebrate that win and that can help you stay motivated and enthusiastic about the goal that you have at hand, because like paying off debt is a real one where it is so much more fun to spend money than it is to save money like that.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:just real. And so you need to have something that's going to encourage you. It's the same with our businesses, like doing potentially like this one thing week after week that you have to do because it's required for your business. But say it's payroll, you know, like, say you've got employees and you're doing payroll, like that's a real bitch to do. That is annoying. It's not a fun task, but it's part of. It's part of it. And celebrating those small wins, like maybe every time you do payroll, you get to have ice cream that night or whatever it might be like, good on you. Like celebrate the small win of I really knocked that out fast today. Or wow. I did that with no mistakes or find your small wins and just celebrate those.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:I think that goes back to talking about having the guardrail set up, talking about having your task list. That's something that you can just check off the list
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Right. Mm hmm.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:that feels good, too. This, and I know we're
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Right.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:here, but this reminds me a little bit, and I don't know that I love this book, but I actually have it right here. is this Ed Milet book, The Power of One More. Have you read this book?
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Mm hmm.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:It reminds me a
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:No, but I've heard the
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:The concept is like, when you're, when you're done, like, and you're done for the day, do one more thing, right? And, and this is like that, the open house for me, right? When I've had the hard week, but I just, I do the open house. It's that one more extra thing. And those are the one, the one more is what's going to set you apart. And what's really going to drive your success. Now, uh, I feel conflicted about that because I think people will take that sometimes and then that leads to burnout, right? So I think there has to be a balance of doing the one more but then also making sure that you're resting, right? Like I think that there's, I think what he has to say is really valid and I do, I do think there is a society where people do the least amount of possible To get through,
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:right.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:but I don't know that people like you and I are those people. So I, sometimes I feel like I would never tell us to do less, but sometimes I've wanted, I feel like for us, it's like maybe do one less, you know, like maybe you're, maybe you're
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Yes.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:much, right? Like we don't need to be told to do the one more, but it is that idea of of when you're an entrepreneur you and when that's really ingrained in who you are and I do, I will always say this, that it's That there is something different between being a business owner or small business owner and an entrepreneur. I think those things are different. When
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:think you can be a small business owner and an entrepreneur, but I don't think every small business owner is an entrepreneur,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:They're not
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:every business,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:exclusive.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:as an entrepreneur, I look at you and I, and I'm like, well, we're doing this and we're doing this and we're doing this and we're seeing the opportunity and we're seeing, and we're growing. We're like a small business owner. This is okay to, we need, like, it takes all types to make the world go around, but a small business owner, like I have this shop that I opened between nine and five every day. And my job while I'm here is to take care of these customers. And I'm going to do this day in and day out until the day that I retire, sell, die,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:right.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:that's my business owner to me for an entrepreneur to me is I'm seeing the opportunity. I'm looking at other endeavors. I'm being super creative in how, how I run my businesses.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah. And the, I think somebody who is, if we're defining it this way, an entrepreneur is not somebody you need to tell to do one more. Right. They're just, they're not, they're not a
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Well, and let me tell you though, when I worked for the insurance company, that was like, they always would tell us as marketing reps, like do one more call, do one more call. When you think you're done, when you feel like you're done, go do one more call.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:That's what this book is.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:And I needed that there, but I wasn't running my empire.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:And you
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:I was living someone else. I was. I was building someone else's dream. It was not my dream. When I have the why I don't need to be told to do the one more thing because I'm following my passion. It's my life.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:It's not someone else's dream
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:I also I really had a hard time. I really have a hard time with these types of do one more stuff when it's told to me by a man who. Either doesn't have children or has a wife that stays at home.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:or a female manager who didn't raise her kids, her husband in looking at you, WK.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Yeah. and you're right. It doesn't have to necessarily be male or female, but I it's when,
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:But it is that, it is that masculine, it is that misogynistic
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:yeah, yeah.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:attitude,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:And I'm just
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:which I am not here for.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:no. So I, well, I liked this book and I got parts. from it, there was definitely like, listen, I also just don't like when people tell me what to do. So don't tell me what to do.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Tell me how to live my life.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:him what to do one
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Well, Colleen, you've been a great guest. Where can we find you?
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Well, thank you so much. You can find me at Colleen Hunderford. com. That is my website, two L's
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Mm hmm.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:In my first name same handle on Instagram and that's mostly where you find me. I'm also on Tik TOK, but mostly I'm on Tik TOK too. Watch other people's videos, but I do do videos on TikTok and I'm there and you can always message me. Um, but really active on Instagram. Please go there, go to my new website. And if you want to buy and sell in Indianapolis, I am here for you. about you,
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Yep.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Where can we
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Well, you can find me on Instagram at Sheryl. theslowrealtor, slow as S L O. It stands for San Luis Obispo. I'm buying and selling real estate in San Luis Obispo County all over and helping people find great agents all over the country. So if you're looking for someone, let us know. We can help connect you with somebody incredible in our network. Also just growing this podcast. We're Doing this Right. Right?. And the InspireHER Collective and I'm just entrepreneuring all over this,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:we
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:all over this world.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:oh, oh, the other thing we want to say is all of our InspireHER Collective chapters, we now have three up and running a forthcoming chart to Charleston in the new year. And then do we know what's happening with
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:More coming,
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:more coming?
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:more coming 2025 year.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:20, 25 year. Yep.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:These are like annual groups. So you join and you commit for a year and it's incredible. If you are a real estate agent in a city and you would like to launch one of these, please reach out to us because we would love to help you launch this. And you can find information at Sheryl Medeiros. com. And then there's a tab for the inspire her collective and everything you need is there. And if you'd like to be a guest on our podcast, you can also go to Sheryl Medeiros. com and. Click to the podcast tab and there's a place where you can apply to be a guest.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:we would love to have guests. we would love to have new chapters of inspire her across the country. We are predominantly in, I don't know what I was trying to say there. Anyway, love to have new members. What I was gonna say is mostly they're started by realtors, but they don't have to be is what I was really gonna say is most of our group leaders are realtors because that's. It's a really great group for realtors to help build a support system for them in their communities. But if you're not a realtor and you're a business owner in area and would like to be a part of it, we would love to have you. That's what I was trying to
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:Wonderful.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:didn't come out the first time.
cheryl_1_09-25-2024_103654:That's okay. Love it. All right, guys. Thanks for being here. Keep doing it right and we will see you next week.
colleen_1_09-25-2024_133654:Bye.
