We’re Doing this Right. Right?
“We Are Doing This Right. Right?” is your go-to podcast for humor-infused discussions that empower women to lead, succeed, and grow. Join us as we explore the smart side of life, business, and friendship, all while navigating the balancing act of parenting and work life. Get ready to laugh, learn, and find your path to success with a community that's cheering you on every step of the way.
We’re Doing this Right. Right?
Who, Not How: Building a Support System for Busy Entrepreneurs
Text us! We know you feel like part of the conversation! We want to hear your input!
In this episode, Cheryl and Colleen dive deep into the concept of 'Who, Not How', discussing how busy entrepreneurs can build a robust support system. They share personal stories about balancing work and family, the challenges of delegating tasks, and the emotional aspects of finding the right help. Key discussions include the importance of self-care, teaching adaptability to children, and leveraging strengths within a team. They also provide practical tips on outsourcing tasks both at home and in business, ensuring you have the freedom to enjoy what truly matters.
Book Discussed: Who Not How, Dan Sullivan
you need to fill your cup, you need to rest. How are you taking care of yourself so that you have something left to take care of the other people? Hello.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Hello, how are you?
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Are you doing it right today?
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:I am doing it tired. I just got back from like a week of fall break, which was awesome. But I decided to add like a college weekend to the end of my relaxing fall break. So, it was super fun. I went to back down to Indiana university where I went to undergrad with two of my best friends from college and we went to a football game and it was super fun, but man, I am. Tired. I am also not 21 anymore. So holy cannoli.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:I'm not 21 anymore either. did a Bunko party or well, we do Bunko every month, but Bunko was granny theme
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:oh my God. Okay.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Okay. If you're not following me on Instagram,
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:I saw
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:on
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:your story.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:and check some of this out. Cause it's hilarious. They went all out. I mean, I just wore my regular nightly muumuu. That's why I'm like, I am an old buddy,
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:the story is I had like, it was like on the verge. It's like, do I have one more? Do I not have one more? I had one more drink. And then I stayed until 12
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Oh my God.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:I felt like death on Friday. Just like walking around, parenting, working with a headache. All day.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:It is really hard to come back and then parent. Like I came back on Sunday and. It was just like, Oh my goodness. Okay. Here we go.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:need so many things.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:So many thing.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Ewww.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:we just jump right into it. Right? Like there's no easing into like, Oh, I came back from vacation. I'm going to ease into this. It's like, no, mom, I need to go get this. We need to do this and we need to make dinner. I was like, okay.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:do you guys seem to eat every day? This is so dramatic. Alex always will say like, he gets home and he's like, You know, we finally sit down after bedtime and he's like, I've just been go go go since I got home. I'm like, well, that's cool. My go go go starts at pickup when I'm driving home.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:sounds like you had a nice vacation today.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah, it is. Uh, I don't know when the non going, but you know what today was really interesting driving the kids back to school. So they start, they went, we were off for almost 10 days for fall break and took them back to school today. And Vivian is now old enough and big enough to sit in the front seat. And so then I had Vivian in the front seat and then Everett and Jackson right behind me. And there was something about today and they got up well and got dressed easily and whatever. And we were on time. So there was no, it was kind of like an easier morning. But there was something about today where I was like, Oh my God, they're, they're not little kids anymore. Like it had, like, it felt a little bit easier, you know, Jackson's still six, but like he, it was just a really interesting feeling where they were just all of a sudden, like big, bigger kids getting out of the car today. And I was like, Whoa. This is some kind of shift happened over this break. It's very interesting.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:That's really lovely for you. I'm sure a little bit bittersweet. I have a little ways to go. I
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:You do.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:but I do notice, and Alex and I are conscious about this, like each year at the kind of the milestone events that we do, I look at the kids and I like, look at us. And I remember the first year where like all three kids were walking in front of us and Alex and I were like walking behind them, holding hands, like, I'm like, what,
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah. It's a, it's that's a, so I was talking to somebody the other day. I'm like, you know, I have three kids, but nobody Jackson's in a booster seat, but nobody needs, like, I don't have to buckle anybody anymore. They can buckle themselves. Yeah. It's a real huge. Load off basically, like everyone can just get in the car and everyone can get out of the car by themselves. And it's these little things where today I was like, Whoa, this felt, I mean, like I'm probably cursing myself, but I was like, wow, this feels, this felt easy this morning.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Yeah this part will be easy. You'll have new as you've seen already new
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yes. Yes.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:with each new stage, but, like, less physically demanding.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah. And I think when Viv sits in the front seat there's less arguing with like, because we have three rows, right? So somebody always has to sit in the, has had to sit in the far back and sometimes they want to, sometimes they don't, and then they argue about who's going to sit in the middle, you know, whatever. So with her sitting in the front. It like there was less arguing, there was less fighting. I was just like, wow. And it's like a cool thing when your kid can start to sit in the front seat with you and it's like, it feels like an interesting bonding time with them up there. Anyway, I'm enjoying it, but okay. It was burb.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:for coming to our parenting
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah. Thanks for listening.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:this is all part of it. Busy entrepreneurs doing all of the things. And I personally. I'm leaning really into my business is so invigorating and exciting. And it's like my favorite thing to do is work.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:I'm also trying to lean into just being a very present and available mom to my
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:we don't get this time back and, this, and then, and then add in also trying to be a present wife and like. Be romantic with my partner occasionally and make time for each other. And there's just so much to do in a given amount of hours in a day.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:do we do when there's more to do than what we have time for?
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Well, yeah. What, what do we do? Well, we have talked a lot about who not how concept, which is a book by, I always forget this guy's name, but let me pull it up because I have it in my book library because I have listened to it. It's by Dan Sullivan.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:I was gonna say Don.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:it's, yeah, it's Dan Sullivan and Susie, you all know her, love her. Um,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Susie
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:the
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:yelling at her today, by the
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:I feel like maybe she should not listen to this one.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:try to, um,
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:It's
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:things
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:yeah,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:she would do a better job telling us.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:absolutely. But this is the reality of it, right? So like, this is the unperfect version of this, right? So, and I think that that is real to a lot of entrepreneurs and a lot of working parents, right? So there is this concept of who not how and in that, in that idea, it's. It is figuring out who is going to do the task or the thing or the project, not how to do it. And it's about leverage and using other people to get the things done that you need to do. And we were talking about this this morning when we were like, okay, what? You know, what do we want to talk about today? Um, yes,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:before the show. We honestly generally do. But Colleen was gone for 10 days on her fall break, so here we are.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:we have a whole schedule and plan and whatever thing, but you know, sometimes we are recording on a day. We don't typically record right now and we're making it work. So that's fine. We don't have to make any excuses about anything anyway.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:great with it.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:When we were talking about this this morning, it kind of came up because you are potentially adding a person to your family team, basically, right, to your team,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:slash work, like I've been looking for a personal assistant is what I've been looking for. And I maybe have found someone.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:and I have somebody now who's working for me kind of as an admin, but it's more like we're, we're kind of in a trial basis right now. And. And we were chatting about this, about how how to find the who, but then also how to give the who the things that need to be done. And I think that transfer of responsibility or that transfer of task doing, we were talking about, like for us, it's, Almost harder to turn it over because we're like, I can just do it and I can just bang it out. It's not a big deal, but I'll just do it. Some of that I think might be control. I'm not sure, but I think some of that is there is effort and, and I'm working with Susie as a, she's my process coach, right? And we're putting a lot of systems and processes in that have actually been amazing, but there is a heavy lift on the front end of that to be able to then turn that over. To somebody else. So I think the con, the conversation we want to have today is like, when you're adding to your team or when you're adding, some sort of assistant or admin or somebody who's going to be assisting you, like, what is the reality of that and what does that really look like? There's an ideal scene of what it should look like, but then when you're in the mix of it. what does that look like and feel like?
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:it's not only just like admin, I'm over this last few months, have been partnering
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yes.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:agent
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah. Mm-Hmm. Mm-Hmm.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:there's. Like there's the learning curve there of like, what are my strengths? What are your strengths? What should I be handling? What should you be handling? And there's this, one of my favorite sayings is you have to slow down to speed up.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:It's, it's a saying that resonates so much with me and still it's so hard to do because I'm just busy running. I've got to go
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Right. Mm-Hmm.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:This has to get done. But you have to stop and make the time to work on your business so that you can actually scale. Because if you don't, then you're just going to be constantly spinning your wheels, chasing your tail, never caught up and not, you won't have the capacity then to then hand it off. You have to slow down so that you can then hand things off to free up your time, to do the higher money making activities.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:And not only the higher money making activities, but the things that bring your life value. So like I talked about, it's not, I don't just want to make money.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Right,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:I want to do that, but that's not the only thing I want to do. I want to be at my kid's pumpkin patch field trip.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:right.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:want to be able to pick my kids up at 2 45
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:If you want to
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:If I want to, and not Let that feel like I'm spinning out of control because there's things that need to be done.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:this is like finding the way to hand things off is going to give you freedom, which is, I think what, why entrepreneurs get into the business,
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:got into the business
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah. Yes.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:freedom?
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:I wanted to be able to control my time and I wanted to be able to not have anybody tell me what to do. But that isn't really how entrepreneurship really is because usually when you're an entrepreneur person, quote unquote, telling you what to do is usually like your client. But I didn't want somebody to tell me how to do my business and I also wanted the freedom and the ability to do the business the way I wanted to do it and not under somebody else's. I don't want to say rules, but under somebody else's
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Their plan. You want to follow your plan,
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:yeah, yeah, that I, that I wasn't aligned with basically.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Mm hmm. Well, and let's talk about real quick when I left the insurance world and I was, I knew I wanted to go out on my own and do real estate, but it was scary.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:yeah,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:I entertained local jobs that were available and I started looking through what was there. And what I just felt so deep in my soul was like.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:I can't work for someone else again. I just can't. Like, I mean, I am the CEO of my family and my home, and I need to be the CEO of my life. And that means working for me.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:And I've seen in my life and in, in adults in my life growing up and into my adulthood, people who have, who have an entrepreneurial spirit, but they work for somebody else. So they've worked so hard to build somebody else's business and. I wanted to work that hard to build my business to work for me. And I think what's happening for me now is, it's continuing to grow or I'm expanding. I have an agent now on my team and, um, one of the things I observed in my previous team and other agents around is my philosophy really was the team lead. If you have a really successful team, your team lead shouldn't necessarily be the one producing the most volume. They should be the person Supporting the team in a way and establishing the team and creating the systems and processes and, and, mentoring and encouraging,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Right,
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:I should be having all of these clients to show her what to do. And Susie was the one and somebody else. I think said this to me too. It's like, no calling. This is actually what you wanted. This was what you wanted. You wanted her to have clients and I can mentor her and I can help her and she can be out doing the showings and she can be doing those things, but I'm there to, you know, like I was on vacation all week, she got, she wrote her first contract and she we're still waiting to hear back cause everybody crossed your fingers and but I was like at the football game. On the phone with her walking her through how to write the purchase agreement. We've gone through it once before, but, this was, Real life now. And, but for me again, and I'll always say this, I loved that, right? Because there I was, I could be down in Bloomington. I could be at the football game. I could take a few minutes to walk out, handle, help her through it. And then continue to be there. Right.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:right. Okay. Okay.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:And so Susie has really helped me come up with systems because I could also say to Nicole, okay, go to our buyer's playbook, pull up the email draft, template that we're going to send to the listing agent. So it's blah, blah, blah, blah, all this stuff. Right. So this is going to be so proud of me. But having some of those systems in place has been really helpful, but. It is that thing of like, how do I teach what I know how to do inherently and how do I turn over some of those things? And I think I'm at a point, even with this admin, we were talking about this, like I need more set up. I need to do more set up on my end so that I can easily turn things over to because right now she's kind of waiting for me to give her stuff.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:yeah, you've got to be prepared with what to give them. I keep thinking as we talk about this, so you know, like I said, I'm the CEO of my whole life, my whole family, my everything. So one of the things I've done several times is on board au pairs.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Oh yeah,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:since 2019, I've been onboarding an every one to two years to my family and the years, the system of onboarding them has gotten more sophisticated
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:a checklist, interactive checklist with videos of how to work my family. My washing machine videos of how to turn on my dishwasher, because I just know that those things are, they won't know inherently because they've not used a dishwasher in their home country. Like, literally almost every au pair comes here and it's like, so excited to have a dishwasher and then they get here and they realize like, oh, dishwasher is actually a pain in the ass. Cause you're like always unloading the dishwasher and loading it. Like it's actually, they end up like not using it, which is hilarious to
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:That's so funny.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:most excited about and then they don't like it. But. It's so we lost our most recent au pair at the beginning of September and I'm functioning without one right now. Maybe functioning is a very generous term. I'm figuring out what's next for my family because I have one more year where I would really need an au pair.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:or did before I put June into preschool more full time and the idea of having to slow down to onboard somebody into my personal life felt too big to do. I did it twice already this year because we had 2 unsuccessful pairs with our family and I'm like, I just can't, even though my systems are so good. Brilliant, but just the emotional and mental load of having to do that, I know, is more than I can bear right now. So I have had to shift and change my plan,
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Get creative about what it is that my family needs right now. And I'm going to tell you guys this, because if you're working parents that are also struggling, I want to give you permission to do some of the things that I have done this year when this happened. So instead of getting an au pair again in full time childcare, I have outsourced my kid's laundry and picking up my house a couple of days a week. So I have a woman who comes for an hour and a half twice a week. So a total of three hours a week. She makes 25 an hour. So that's 75 a week to me. She comes, she puts our house back together in the morning after we've left. She lets Mater be out and play for a little while. So I can be out of the house working for several hours. puts the kids laundry away. She makes our beds, like whatever it is. Like I have like a general list of like these things every time. And then here's some extra projects.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah. Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:give me my time back really on the weekends. That's probably not things I would do during the week. As far as, I mean, obviously pick up the house we do every day, but like folding the laundry and stuff. So I've bought my weekends back. I also outsource my house cleaning every other week. So I'm not doing a deep clean on the weekends. We're doing a little bit here and there trying to get the kids involved, but mostly we're trying to spend time as a family in those times because
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:off work, outsourcing those things because. Really, you can, can generally find people who know how to do those things without a lot of onboarding, especially if they grew up in the United States, as opposed to. Onboarding an au pair. Now the challenge with that is reliability,
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yep.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:trustworthiness, like them doing it the way you want to do it. You want
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah. You have, yeah,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:or releasing the control and just deciding done is better than perfect. There are systems I've put in place though to make this easy for kind of anybody to come in and do. So like every one of my girls dressers has a laminated their name on it and then I write their size
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Oh,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:putting away the laundry knows that this size goes in here and then there's little stickers on each drawer that's like, and this was largely for them too, so they can start helping. Put clothes away, but it's like t shirts here, underwear here. There's just little pictures taped to the front of a dresser
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:My God.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:goes. And that's a at home system that maybe we don't think about. But if you take the time to set that up, then not only can your kids help you, but if you outsource that to someone else, the training is easier. So
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:different levels of setting up systems. Like, are we doing it professionally? Are we doing it personally? And both are valuable. So it's just listening to a woman. Give a presentation on this which was ironic timing, but she was saying like if any like The whole idea of take the number of hours you make in a year, which is generally like 2000, divide what you made by 2000. That's your hourly rate.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Hmm.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:any task that you're doing could be outsourced for less than that hourly rate, it may be worthwhile to find the who, not how to do that. So these at home tasks that I can pay someone 25 an hour to do my time is worth more than 25 an hour.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Right. Right.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:I'm outsourcing them.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:I, I had somebody for a little bit, it was actually my, the lady who cleans my house occasionally. She was coming, I think every three times a week or twice a week to do something similar. And to your point, it was like, Okay. Everything wasn't perfect when she put the dishes away or where she put the thick clothes away or whatever. And, you know, there were some times where I would be like, uh, but most of the time I was like, listen, she can put this stuff it's done. And the boys would be like, that's, that's Jack's t shirt, not mine. I'm like, well, first of all, you share a closet. So like chill out. But also. You didn't do it. So we're going to be
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Eggers can't be choosers.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:easy breezy about this. So let's, you know, also you can help with this as well, but the laundry is something that is debilitating for us, I think, for especially families. Of five like ours where there's just so much Laundry that has been a thing that has been debilitating and she did that for a while and then she had to take on other More for her like her time was worth more doing more house cleaning versus doing that So now I need to find somebody else to come back and do that because that was like still such a nice experience.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:listen, so there are, okay, by the way, that just reminded me, someone just told me that like my catchphrase, like my keynote, the thing I say all the time is listen,
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:I say it all the time. Oh my God. Listen.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:no idea I was doing it. Listen. Okay. But seriously, listen. There are moms. there or parents, not just moms, but there are parents out there whose kids go to school for five or six hours a day
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:like to make a little bit of money that probably could swing by and do that stuff for you a couple hours a week and still have their time freedom and be able to contribute in a way or be able to like put some of their own money away somewhere
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:reason. Like, I think women need to lean on women and help everybody rise, rising tides lifts all ships.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Listen, if, if there's somebody in Indianapolis area who wants to do that for me or know somebody who does, please send them my way. I need that person again,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:just advertising the mock groups about what it is you're looking for and put your dream out there. So when I put my personal assistant thing out there, I posted it on my Facebook and I remember you calling and saying like, Oh, great job. And a couple other people called me and they're like, I'm so glad you did that. I mean, I didn't, it wasn't successful. It's not how I found someone, but
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:but you put it out into the universe.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Put it out into the universe. And the other thing is, and just the way I'm doing this now, like you and I don't want to gatekeep, like if I have this idea, probably other women have this need and need this idea too. And like, let me help the wheels turn and help you figure out what it is you need in your life. And also give you the permission to look for the help we all. Like, everybody, you have permission to look for help if you need help.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Well,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:this as my golden ticket to go out and find what you're looking for.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:I think one of the interesting,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:probably different than us, but
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:I think one of the interesting things that you talked about too, is like, Finding the help can mean finding the help at home so that you can focus more of your time on your business, or it can be finding help in your business to focus more on what you're doing at home or a combination of both. And I think one of the things that women entrepreneurs or women in executives or like high achieving women, and our audience is women, so I'm sure there's men that this applies to also, but. They're not listening. So who cares is it's hard. Like there is part of me that, that is almost like, well, if I have somebody doing this and I have somebody doing this, then what am I doing? And, and there is a weird feeling for somebody who's had to always work as hard as possible or grind or get or do or whatever, you know, we talk about hustle culture or whatever those things are. Right. Like sometimes for me. The just sitting down and doing nothing, or it feels uncomfortable, right? Like I should be doing something. I should be working on something else. And I think that's just, that's more of like a emotional experience that I need to figure out, right? Like.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:a conditioned, it's a conditioned response that you have. You've been, this is the way your life has always been, so you think this is the way it always has to be.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Correct. And it's modeled, right? Like you see this, this is what has been modeled for me particularly, but for a lot of other people, right? If you're not go, go, go, you're not working hard enough, but I saw something recently, like the most successful people make time to exercise. They make time for their family. They go on vacation and they do these, you know, like four things or something like that. But because they do those things. I don't know, chicken and the egg. It's either because they do those things, they are more successful or they're successful so they can afford to do those things. I'm not sure, but I think there's a balance there.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:you and I have had the conversation before about rest and how, like, it's, it's foreign to us to do this,
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:yeah,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:when we do it. Our brain finally has a minute to have amazing ideas
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:yes,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:get so creative and powerful. So I do think, and there's so many, um, there's professions where like their job really is to just sit around and think that is so fascinating to me.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:yes it is. And then also,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:so fascinating.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:or just like to come up, like, And this was part of that, like, Oh, I don't have, you know, I should have all the clients. You know what I mean? Instead of Nicole have, she shouldn't be bringing the clients. I should be bringing the clients, which I've had a billion clients. So it's not like I'm not going to get, you know, when I have clients, so it's just, there's nothing acted. That's not true. It's also just my own weird perception, right? The reality is I have clients, I have transactions, I have things going on,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Mm
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:moment where. I was like, well, I don't have, I didn't feel like I had something right now, but she did. But like, also that's okay because the business is still running and the business is still going. And I think that takes a bit to get used to, to your point when that's what, that's what we're told, or that's what we've seen we're supposed to do. But yeah, this idea of like rest. And then I had a moment the other day where I was like,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Yeah.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Oh, David, I was like, I took a shower. So I've got all these ideas now. And he was like, relax, lady. What's your problem. But I, but I just think, I think that part of this conversation is. And why I wanted to have this conversation as well was I want people to know, like, yes, there is this who not how, and yes, we really like this idea of outsourcing, but I also want people to understand that sometimes that is hard, right? Like to say, like, oh, we'll just find somebody to do it. Sounds really easy and sounds really simple. And I just think that can feel frustrating sometimes when you're like, well, okay, yeah, let me just find somebody to do it. And then one, it's hard to find somebody or hard to find the right person or hard to turn it over. I think there has to be some acknowledgement of the fact that like, to your point, like slowing down to speed up or putting in the work ahead of time to, to be able to let things go. I think there has to be some more. Conversation about the fact that it's not quite as easy as we'll just put something up on Upwork and find somebody to build a website for you or something like that. Right. Cause it's just not, it's just not always that easy. And I think it diminishes it.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Yeah, I want to, so I live in the middle of nowhere, so finding someone to do these house tasks for me has not been easy.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Sure.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:someone that lives further out than I do, that is traveling through my neighborhood or through where I live to do this because no one else wants to drive out here. so with that, this is important, comes trade offs. I may not be getting exactly what I want from this person. But I, my role that I need filled is a difficult one to fill. So I need to be creative and willing to bend and make some sacrifices to get it done, which isn't great. And in a perfect world, that's not what I would do. I'd have whoever I want come and do it and they'd love to do it for the price I want to do them. And they'd be here every time on time and All the things, but this, like this role that I have this woman that's doing the laundry and the house stuff in my dream world, she was also going to watch my kids
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:pinches. I get a vibe that tells me she's better with my dog
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Hmm. Okay.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:and that's
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Fair. Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:I also need help there.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:that's fine. So I'm, I've let that dream go and I made a, made a shift and now we're going to do the that also will watch the kids.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:we made that work. And by the way, guys, here's an idea. This personal assistant works at a school. has the same days off as my kids.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Hmm.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:off like 15 minutes after my kids get off. So I have someone that can like help in those hours where I need the help.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:That is awesome.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:That is really awesome. I mean, that is, I
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:hmm.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:think to your point of this adaptability or like have the idea, have the dream, but then like. And have the ideal scene, but also like, we've always just say like, just start, like you hiring this lady is almost like a just start, right? Like, okay, she's not
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:hmm.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:exactly perfect, but close enough and let's just start. And then maybe somebody else is going to come along that can do all these things. Or maybe to your point, you found this personal assistant who can do other things, plus the things that this woman wasn't able to, doesn't want to do, or isn't able to do. I was talking to Vivian this week, a lot about. Adaptability. And I think this is something kids have a hard time with, right? Like we were out and we were having pizza and she was hungry, but she threw an absolute fit at the pizza place because the way this pizza was made, it had a lot of sauce on it. And when she picked up her,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:great. Mm.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:she picked up her pizza, everything slid off. And she was, she was tired. She was hungry or whatever. And so she just freaked out and it was not great. We, and we got through it fine. But I talked to her later that weekend and we were talking about like, you know, like things. aren't going to always go the way exactly we want them to. So we have to learn to adapt to these situations. And for her, I used like, a horseback riding analogy. I was like, you know, when you're riding your horse, you know, when you're riding Duchess, like sometimes Duchess gets a little bit, stubborn and doesn't do exactly what you want her to do. So what do you have to do as a writer? You have to adapt to that, right? You have to adapt to that situation to get her to do the things that you want her to do, but you have to make some changes. You can't always just follow this really stringent, uh, And I think that adaptability is something you learn, but it's also something that can be taught. And, and parents, please teach this to your kids early on because it's tough to learn later on in life. But I think that's what happens. We talk so much about the pivot or we talk about adaptability or we talk about, you know, being willing to make change. And I think that is part of this hiring process too. That's part of this. You can have your systems and processes and you can have everything lined up, but there is a little adaptability that has to happen here. There is when you're hiring, you have to find a person who can do these things, but maybe you have to adapt the processes so that person can understand them a little bit more or works better for them. So I think there has to be a balance between these really clear and precise. Processes, processes, but then also understanding that some of those are going to evolve and change and shift depending on who the person is that's doing them.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:And I want to circle back to Rachel Wehner and the CliftonStrengths. Thank
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Building a, a wonderful, strong team is one where you learn each other's strengths and then you, you pivot and hand out things based on those strengths. I just, Alex's company was just having this issue the other day with there's, they have a strong advisor, but he's not great on the computer. so he's really struggling and it's slow for him to do his task that he's supposed to do, like checking in a customer takes the average advisor, I think eight minutes. And he was taking 20 minutes
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Okay.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:a customer. So like, that's a huge, that 12 minute issue is big. So they had to adapt. Like we talked about, like, that's not his strength. The computer's not a strength. So they adapted. Someone's printing him out all his shit now, and he's taking his notes there, and like, letting someone else who's fast at that part take that computer part for him,
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Right.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:him do what he does great, which is work with the customers and sell the repairs and all the things, so
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Right. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Fine.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:you just, like, the goal, look at the goal, like, what is our goal? Our goal is to what Get this many customers through the door in a day or sell this much in a year or whatever it might be. So it's might look different, but keep your eye on the goal and be adaptable with the change. So you have been teaching Viv about adaptability and I've been teaching my girls about resilience. That's been our, our conversation over the last week is resilience because everyone update Emmy And I, and Alex are going to therapy every week now, and we are what, what she's doing in therapy. Cause she's only five. She's little we're drawing. She, we have a feelings chart and she's creating her own feelings chart. So she'll go through and find a feeling that is that she wants to do based on like, Oh, she's felt that before. Or sometimes she's like, This one had a really long because then she writes the name of the feeling under the face that she's drawn and it was like invisible was a really long one. She's like, I want a short one now. So then I think she did sad next or calm next something just like, like, I don't want to write that many letters next. Okay, fine. But she's building her own feelings chart and resilience was on there. And so we had the conversation, you know, where I explained what resilience is.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:And I do think that's just like one of the most important things in the world to be good at. So I'm training my kids on that.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah. Adaptability, resilience. It's like, and those things kind of go hand in hand. Right. Like We talk about, I talk about that a lot with Vivian and literally like, this is why I think activities, sports, whatever it is, is so important for kids to do. Right. Because I can say to Viv, like, you know, we, there's that saying, like, get back up on the horse. Literally, she's got to get back up on the horse if she falls off. Right. And that takes, you know, resilience and courage and adaptability and
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Right.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:and focus and whatever. So there's a lot of things that we talk about there. And I think even in this idea of, you know, when you're growing your business. And when you're expanding, it takes resilience, takes adaptability. It takes, the willingness to put in this extra time, like I'm working with Susie, like I have said now a billion times, but like my homework list is so long of all these things that I have to do. And I'm just like, shit, like, I'm not selling if I'm doing this stuff, but this is the stuff that's going to get me to the point where I'm I am not selling, which is actually the goal.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Right,
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:but I still have to sell in the meantime because that's how I make money, but it's just, and I think there's some, that's kind of a tricky thing to balance when you are in this earlier stage of your business is that. Is the setup and the actual doingness of your, of your business and that just comes, you know,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:hear it. I hear it. Phrases work. The difference between working in and
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:yes,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:your
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:yes, yes, yes. Right, right. Exactly. Oh yeah. I
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:and you're working the counter, you're working in your business in those times, and then you're working on your business when you are doing the marketing and you're making the checklists and the process and setting this up and having the visual, the vision of what's coming next and those things. Um, 1. So you, we're going to go backwards to we talked about earlier. So Oh, the resting, feeling uncomfortable. I want to go back to
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:hate it.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:because I had therapy sessions last week. Four in one week, guys, this is, this is great. So I, and this is another way of who, not how, I'm struggling with, you know, The behaviors my daughter's been having. So we got her in therapy. Well, so that's one of the appointments. But then I was like, I was talking to the therapist and I'm like, I really think you and I could benefit from just a one on one with you to talk more about the things that's going on. So that was therapy session number two. Then I had already decided I needed my own therapist again. So I had made an appointment with the therapist. So then I had my third one and then I had a parent coach. And That is a free resource in San Luis Obispo County. I'll share information about
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Oh yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:amazing that slow has like parent coaches available for just I did an hour long session with this guy at no cost. And I can do another 1 and another 1 and another
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Wow. Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:And we talked through specific behaviors and all the things, but the. Recurring theme from the three therapy sessions that were just for me was you need to fill your cup, you need to rest. How are you taking care of yourself so that you have something left to take care of the other people? So in that where rest feels so uncomfortable to us,
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah. Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:to a place where literally anybody who looks at me is like, what are you doing to rest? You're doing too much. So I, I'm going to get creative again and like look for the personal assistant and look for the ways to outsource some items that I don't have to do. Not so I can go make more money or do work on my business. I actually need to make time so that I can just fill my cup and rest and be there for myself.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:And I.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:sure my audience has been in the same boat.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yes. Well, and as you're saying that, I'm like, okay, I think of resting, like when I think of resting, it's like, oh, you're just like laying down or, oh, you're sitting, you know, like on a beach not doing, but when you're saying this, I'm like, okay, here, here. The things that I like to do is I like to play tennis or I like to go to my trainer. Like those are built in brain rest,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Things you're
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:brain
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Yeah.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:rest, non working, yeah, non working time. So I think that's an easy way to understand you know, like to kind of think about it that way is like. Maybe sitting and, and, but also, you know what I'm gonna tell you, the older I'm getting, I like to just sit outside on my port on my deck and literally just stare by like, just look, I don't, it's something that I just started doing where I'm like, I'm just going to go sit outside and I might be listening to a book or I might be on my phone, but sometimes I'm just sitting out there. Like. Staring off into space, which is just like so funny.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:me out the other day. She's like, what are you looking at? I'm like, actually nothing. I am just staring blankly into space right now. I am just fucking tired. Yeah. I'm
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:year I went to that luxury women, it was women thing in 30 a and women are real estate. It was women of compass. And I, uh, my friend Bob now went with me at the time and we were up on this like beautiful rooftop. Restaurant bar and she was just like staring out into space and I was like are you gonna talk to me? Like, what are you doing? And she was like, can't you just let me live? I'm just staring off into space. I was like, no, we have to talk. We're talking. We're here. We should be talking together. I
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:other side, Colleen.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:know now I'm staring off into space.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:I know last night, yesterday afternoon, we got home from like everything we needed to do for the week around like five. And dinner was like, I got rotisserie chicken. So it was a pretty easy dinner to make. And so we ended up with like some free time outside after dinner, the kids had taken their bath in the morning. And. It was just like the kids learning to ride their bikes together. And Alex and I like getting a chance to hug and chat and just let kind of just be home doing whatever it is they wanted to do. And I said to him, I said, I need more of this. We need more of this.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:he said, well, bomb, Cheryl, going to have to stop scheduling things every evening.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Boom.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Oh,
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:that feels pointed.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:it is pointed. I control the social calendar. I control the whole calendar. Like I'm the one doing this to ourselves. And next weekend, we're looking at the calendar and there's this haunted house, the Elks Lodge, and Emmy really wants to go to it. But we already have Something on Friday and we have a bunch of things on Saturday and it's not on Sunday. And I'm like, well, we could swing by after this. And he's like, you're doing it. You're doing it again. You're going to overbook us.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah,
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Oh, it's so hard.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:so hard. And we were talking about this before earlier today. Like just, I schedule myself, my, like, I have to block off my schedule. Remember I was like, Oh, these people keep making appointments with me. And, uh, I'm not giving myself enough buffer in between meetings or like appointments or different. Like I have my calendar, so you can schedule a 30 minute call with me or a consultation. And it's what I'm realizing now. And this is again, just, this is like, as you get into your business, you, you adapt and you change and trial and error, but I I'm too available for these meetings, right? Like it's too easy for somebody to book a meeting. And I haven't blocked off that time to say like, this is my meeting times only. Like I only take these meetings between 10 and noon or whatever. So somebody booked a call with me during this time that you and I had set off. And I was just like, Oh God, now I gotta adjust this and I gotta move that. But I schedule myself so. Tightly that I cause more stress for myself than I need to, right? Like, and then it's almost causing more, more work for me and other people, right? Because if they're planning these meetings and then I have to reschedule them, that's a pain in the ass for everybody. So I think there's. So much to that, like
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Right.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:so that if I end my workout at 10, I'm not having to go to a meeting at 10 Oh five, you know, like, so buffer work time there, or like before and after tennis, I put buffer time. So people can't schedule or that I don't schedule things myself. That's really what it is. But. I think that that is part of this when you're starting or when you're building like you try to make yourself as available as possible or do as much as possible.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:and change to where we are now in our current needs.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yeah.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:It's hard. Easier said than done folks, but join us in this effort to take control of our lives as an entrepreneur because holy smokes.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:I guess the main thing and I said it already once, but I want to say it again. It's like. We really advocate for having systems and having processes and delegating. But I don't want to say that with so much, just flip it, flip and see that you're just like, oh yes, it's very easy. Like I want people to hear like. That is the ideal scene and that's what we should be working towards, but it is hard. And there is hard work that goes into not even just like physically, but also just mentally like being able to Get the energy to like get yourself there And work on that stuff or find the right people like it's gonna take a little bit I just want people to hear that and know that that like When we're up here like oh just find somebody else to do it who not help blah blah blah like we get it also Like but it's not
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:recognize that it's not as easy as it sounds
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:correct
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:we are struggling through it right alongside of you. And honestly, like having employees, having a team, it sometimes is more headache than it's worth. You do eventually, like when I was in commercial insurance and business owners were my, my client, that's who I worked with. There was many of them that. Went from like a large business to eventually a smaller business that needed less people because that that is a Challenge to manage the people and manage the hiring and the training and all of that So we recognize that this is just not as simple as it sounds but we're gonna we're gonna try
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Yes. And also, also hire Susie Adamson to help you put it in your systems.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:Adamson.
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:She's amazing coach.
cheryl_1_10-21-2024_101403:the best see the best All right, you guys well, thank you so much for being here with us this week and keep doing it, right?
colleen_1_10-21-2024_131404:Bye.
